As Fate Would Have It
by Silverflare07
Summary: "Sometimes even fate needs a helping hand. You might not be able to see it, but hopefully you can hear it." A trip to the new Chinese restaurant results in some interesting experiences for Kendall and Logan. You can't hide forever. Eventually everyone has to face the music. .Kogan. .multi-chapter.
1. Day 1

Okay! This is a story that I've been planning and/or writing for probably close to two months now. It was all completely planned out (and a good portion of it was written) before season three even started airing, so it's probably going to conflict with any canon established in season three. I know for a fact that it conflicts with Lomille.

This entire story is already written, and it's quite lengthy, so bare with me guys. You'll be getting pretty much daily updates though, because it's all written out. So hopefully that makes up for it. Barring this first chapter and the last chapter, every other chapter will be roughly somewhere between a thousand and fifteen hundred words. There's a couple exceptions, but even those exceptions aren't too long.

The idea for this story has been in my head for a while, but I wasn't sure if wanted to write it, because I knew it was going to take ages to plan and write and I'm still not sure I did it justice. But hopefully, I did okay. This whole fic is centered around the idea of the Red Thread of Fate, which if you know what that is, great. If you don't, sit back, enjoy the ride, and you'll learn eventually. Whether you know about it or not, just be forwarned that I took a few liberties concerning the whole Red Thread myth. If you know about the myth already then when the time comes you'll know exactly what I did that's different. If you don't, I'll be sure to tell you later. But I don't want to ruin the surprise.

Enjoy!

* * *

o*o*o*o*o  
_Ends and beginnings—  
there are no such things.  
There are only middles.  
_–Robert Frost.  
o*o*o*o*o

* * *

"Hey Logie?" Kendall Knight stares up at the giant neon sign in front of him, several Chinese letters lighting up the street they're all standing on.

Logan Mitchell turns to face his best friend of ten years. "Yeah?"

"What's this place even called."

The genius shrugs. "Not sure. But if I had to guess," He steps forwards and taps the much smaller paper sign that is hung beneath the large neon one, "I'd say it's something like _As Fate Would Have It_."

The group of six walks inside and are all impressed by the nice interior of the Chinese restaurant. It was several miles from the Palm Woods and none them have ever been there before, but it had been the restaurant that had won, so here they all are.

Kendall picks up one the take-out menus that are lying near the hostess stand of the restaurant they are currently in. "Uh, can anyone read Chinese?"

"I can." Lucy offers, leaning closer to the blonde, "but if you don't want my help you can always read the descriptions that are in English right underneath the Chinese."

Kendall notices where she's pointing and flushes. "Oh…Yeah that would be helpful."

The rocker chic shakes her head, smiling at the tall boy. James and Carlos smirk, knowing that even though it doesn't seem like it, Lucy is actually flirting with their friend. He seems completely unaware of it, however. Or, if he is aware of it, he's not interested. He's more interested in making the resident genius attempt to pronounce some of the names of the dishes with him.

A young Chinese girl, no older than any of them, walks up to the group, smiling brightly. "Hi. How many tonight?"

"Six." Camille says, smiling brightly. "We're celebrating!"

The hostess smiles while she grabs the correct number of silverware and menus. "Great! Well follow me this way." She heads towards the left side of the restaurant until a sharp voice yells at her in Chinese. They all turn to see an elderly lady, apparently the hostess' boss, speaking quickly. The hostess, whose nametag says Li, replies, also speaking in Chinese. They argue back and forth for a minute before Li sighs and turns to the right, leading the group of friends towards the empty half of the restaurant. The group all turns to one another, shrugging in confusion before following the young girl to a long table with three chairs on either side.

Logan slides into one of the middle seats and Kendall quickly slides into the seat beside him. He doesn't seem to notice the way Lucy's eyes flicker in disappointment before she slides into the seat across from him. Carlos sits down next to her and James occupies the seat beside the Latino. Camille shakes her head and sits down next to Logan. The waitress comes and gets their drink orders, quickly returning with six sodas. Kendall quickly chugs half of his before turning the genius on his left. "What are you getting?"

The shorter boy shrugs. "Not sure yet. The menu is huge and we've never been here before."

"Who cares about the meal?" Carlos exclaims. "I can't wait for the fortune cookies!"

James shakes his head. "I think I'm going to try the sushi." He says after skimming though the menu options. "Now I just need to figure out what kind I want."

"It all sounds delicious," Camille admits, "I don't know what I want either."

"There portion sizes look pretty big here," Lucy mentions, "I don't think I'd even be able to eat all of anything on here. Want to split something with me?" Her last statement is directed at the blonde across from her.

Kendall smirks, this time picking up on Lucy's subtle attempts at gaining his attention. "Sure. I was thinking the number three sounds good." He points to the item on her menu. "What do you think?"

She reads it over quickly and smiles. "Sounds delicious."

Their order decided, the blonde turns back to his best friend. "Did you pick something yet, Logan?"

Logan flips idly through the menu once more. "Actually, the chicken ramen sounds really good. It would be cool to try actual ramen for once and not that stuff that comes in a Styrofoam cup."

"Hey!" Kendall pretends to be insulted. "That stuff is delicious." The genius makes a face and both boys start laughing.

They quiet down as the waitress returns to get their order. They all order and then continue talking amongst themselves until the food arrives. Everyone steals a little off of everyone else's plates (except for Logan who refuses to touch James' sushi) and they all decide that is probably one of their new favorite restaurants. At least for Chinese food. Things go smoothly until about halfway through dinner. "I had my entire high school convinced that I could read palms." Lucy tells them all and Carlos actually snorts into his drink.

"No way." Kendall says, shaking his head. "They actually bought that?"

"Yeah." The rocker nods. "I'm an incredible actress. Let me see your hand."

Kendall extends his hand and when Lucy reaches out to grab it she accidentally hits her drink, knocking it over onto Logan.

"Ah!" Logan pushes his chair back quickly but it's too late. He's already soaked in Lucy's _Mountain Dew_. "Damn that's cold!"

The tall blonde draws his hand back, just before Lucy can grab it, and turns all his attention to his friend. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah." Logan dabs at his pants with his napkin. "It just looks like I didn't quite make it to the bathroom." He chuckles lightly.

"I am so sorry, Logan." Lucy apologizes, handing the short boy some more napkins. "It was a total accident."

Logan smiles reassuringly at the girl almost across from him. "I know. It's fine, really. I'm going to go to the bathroom. Maybe I can at least make them not sticky."

He stands up and no one is surprised to see Kendall stand up as well. "I'll come with you." He grins cheekily at his brunette friend. "Four hands will get it done faster than two."

"And while you're gone, I'll get us some fortune cookies." Carlos looks for their waitress as the other two boys head off to the bathroom. When he can't find her, he waves at the elderly lady from earlier.

"Dude, that's not our waitress."

Carlos shrugs off James' concern. "She's been watching us all night. So she's probably not too busy."

It's as if the elderly lady already knows what the energetic boy is going to ask her for, because when she gets to the table she sets down six fortune cookies. One if front of each of the chairs. "Enjoy." She tells him, smiling and letting her gaze linger on the two empty chairs just a moment longer than normal.

"Thanks!"

A few minutes later Kendall and Logan both return from the bathroom, the smaller boy looking a little drier. "Come guys!" Carlos unwraps his cookie as soon as they're back in their seats. "We have to play the game."

He opens his fortune cookie and pulls out the little white paper. "You will have great fortune and success…_in bed_." He grins. "Sweet! You next James."

The pretty boy opens his cookie as well, pulling out his fortune. "A smile and a positive attitude will take you far…_in bed_." He smirks. "I like these fortunes."

"I'm next." Logan smiles, already holding the white piece of paper. "Huh…It just says: the more you fight, the more tangled you become."

"That's weird." Kendall breaks his own cookie open. "You must have gotten one that wasn't supposed to go out." He reads his fortune silently and his eyebrows shoot up. "I think I must have too. Mine says: Ignorance is no excuse. Fate will always find you."

The six friends all share quizzical glances. "Those are lame!" Carlos finally declares. "Find out what your lucky numbers are and then forget about them."

Both boys flip the fortunes over, the confusion on their faces increasing. "That's weird…" Logan trails off as he finishes reading what's on the back.

"My doesn't even have any lucky numbers. It's another weird fortune."

"Mine too."

"_Sometimes even fate needs a helping hand. You can't see it, but hopefully you'll be able to hear it._"

The table is eerily silent as they finish reading. "Well." Camille finally breaks the silence. "That's weird."

"Yeah, you must have gotten the two fortunes that were supposed to be jokes or something." Lucy gets up and grabs two more fortunes from a large bowl that is sitting on the counter. "Try a different one." She hands them each a cookie.

They crack open their new cookies and disbelief washes over their faces. "Mine says the same thing!" Logan cries.

"Mine too."

"Okay…" James gets up and moves towards the bowl, grabbing a large handful of cookies. "That has to just be a weird coincidence." He deposits the pile of cookies in front of his two friends. "Try again."

Six cookies apiece later, and everyone is beginning to think they'd better just leave. "It's just not your guys' night for fortunes." Camille tells them as she laughs. "I mean eight fortunes that all say the same thing. That's crazy."

They get up, leaving the appropriate amount of cash for their bill and head towards the exit. "I know," Kendall agrees. "That's never happened to me before."

They all wave politely to the elderly Chinese lady who is standing by the entrance. She gives a half bow as they walk by. "Goodnight everyone. Goodnight Kendall. Goodnight Logan."

They're all so wrapped up in the mystery of the freak fortune cookie incident that it never occurs to them that there's no way that this complete and total stranger could possibly know the two boys' names.

-0-

"Isn't that new documentary you wanted to go see playing today?"

Logan looks up from where he's reading on the orange couch in apartment 2J. Next to him, Carlos and James don't even blink, both too engrossed in their video game to be bothered with whatever Kendall is talking about, especially since it has the word documentary in it. "I think so." He replies after giving it some thought. "Actually, yeah, I'm pretty sure it is. I'd better go see it. It's only in theaters for the weekend."

Kendall's face lights up at the smaller boy's words. "I'll come with you!"

The genius raises an eyebrow at this. "Don't you have plans with Lucy? To go see that new horror movie?"

The blonde waves a hand dismissively. "We can do that any time. I'm sure she'll understand that the documentary is only showing for the weekend."

He completely misses the way the brunette frowns at his easy dismissal of his plans with their rocker friend. "But-"

"Come on!" Kendall's voice is slightly pleading and _this_ catches Carlos and James' attention. "We haven't done anything just the two of us in ages!"

"So you want to go see a documentary…?"

"Yes! Well, no. But I want to hang out with my best friend. I miss you, Logie."

Logan sighs and the other two boys behind them smirk at one another, knowing the smaller boy is about two seconds from giving in. Except before he can even open his mouth, Kendall beats him too it, by singing, of all things.

"_Let's go back._"

Everyone, including the blonde, blinks in shock at the words that have just come from the leader's mouth. Before anyone can question it, however, Logan starts to sing as well.

"_Back to the beginning_."

Then, because the past minute hasn't been weird enough, the boys open their mouths and begin to sing together. "_Back to when the Earth, the sun, the stars, all aligned."_

There's total silence once the two boys finish singing. No one wants to say anything: James and Carlos because they're not sure if they're friends still have the urge to sing and Kendall and Logan because they don't want to accidentally start singing again. After several minutes of silence James decides to chance it. "Uh, guys…what the hell was that?"

Both genius and hockey player are pale as they turn to face their friends. "I have no idea." Kendall tells them.

"Wait…you mean you didn't just decide to sing?"

Logan shakes his head. "It's hard to explain, but I couldn't help myself. I _had_ to sing. I don't even know what song that was."

The four friends all exchange horrified looks, Kendall and Logan looking far more concerned than either James or Carlos, however. Because even though it's kind of concerning that their two best friends have randomly burst into song, both the pretty boy and the Latino can see the entertainment value in this situation.

At least for them.

* * *

Here's chapter one. I really hope you guys like this. Don't forget to review. It really makes my day to see what you guys think.

Also, the song used in this chapter is _Come Clean_ by Hilary Duff.


	2. 8 Years Old

Here's the next chapter! See? I told you that you'd be getting daily updates. And for the "guest" (when did that happen Fanficiton? Guess I've been away for awhile) that was trying to figure out what was coming by using the whole song-don't. I mean, feel free to enjoy the music, but if it's not actually in the story, there's a good chance the rest of the song doesn't have anything to do with the story.

And for FanFictionObsession43- the idea was kind of sparked by Freaky Friday -although no one is swapping anything- but mostly it was inspired by my fascination with the Red Thread of Fate.

* * *

o*o*o*o*o  
_He who recollects distinctly his past  
adventures, knows his destiny to come.  
_–Johann Lavater  
o*o*o*o*o

* * *

_8 Years Old_

"We need someone else." Carlos tells his two best friends, James Diamond and Kendall Knight as he bounces the red rubber ball to the brunette. It's recess and the three friends are attempting to play one of their favorite games.

"Yeah." James nods as he catches the ball before passing it quickly to Kendall. "Four Square is boring if there's only three of us."

Kendall grabs the ball, sighing at his friends' words. "I know. But-" He stops mid-sentence as he suddenly feels this unexplainable tug in his chest, pulling him towards the other side of the school building. He's felt something like it before; a gentle pull in no particular direction. This is different though. This feels likes it's calling him into action, almost likes it a real, tangible thing that he could grab and yank on if he tried hard enough.

He doesn't understand why it's there or where it came from. All he knows is that he has to listen to it. H doesn't have any other choice. He drops the rubber ball and sprints off towards the other side of the school building without so much as a word of explanation to either James or Carlos. The other two boys shrug before following their best friend.

They round the corner and see three rather large fifth-graders bullying a much smaller boy into submission.

"Come on, _nerd_." The tallest boy, a red-haired, freckled bully of a fifth grader, named Mark, sneers as the younger boy cowers. "Do my math homework!"

"But that's cheating!" The smaller boy tries to protest. "You shouldn't cheat!"

"Yeah?" Mark's friend, a black-haired boy named Damien, leans closer to the cowering boy, "Well I think cheating would be a lot better than being beaten up, don't you think?"

"Isn't that the new kid?" James whispers to Kendall.

It takes Kendall a second to realize that his slightly taller friend is right. The boy that has become the target for the three nastiest fifth-graders at Sherwood Elementary is the same boy who'd stared at his shoes as Mrs. Emerson had introduced him to their class just a few days ago. He looks underneath Tony, the last, and biggest, bully's arm and for the first time since he joined their class, his brown eyes lock onto Kendall's hazel ones.

And suddenly Kendall feels the fierce need to protect this boy surge through him, shocking him with its intensity. These bullies are not allowed to touch the small boy and Kendall is going to make sure they never do again. He doesn't worry about the fact that they're bigger and stronger than all of his friends. He doesn't think about the fact that Tony could probably beat all three of them up on his own on a particularly good day (well, good for the bully, bad for the boys). The only thing he thinks about, only thing he sees, is the small boy huddled in on himself like he's waiting for the inevitable blow. Or maybe it's already come and he's trying to protect himself from it happening again. Either way, it makes Kendall angry in a way he's never been angry before.

He turns to his friends; ready to tell them that they need to do whatever they can to get the fifth-graders to back off. "We need to help him."

James and Carlos nod without a moment's hesitation. Kendall turns back to face the bullies, briefly wondering how they can possibly not have seen the other three third graders. He's in the process of trying to figure out the best plan of action to get rid of the three older kids when Carlos solves the problem for him. The little Latino shoves his helmet onto his head, pats it twice (an odd habit he'd picked up from somewhere) and then charges the bullies, screaming at the top of his lungs.

"AHHHHHH!" He takes a running jump and tackles Tony, the closest to them.

Fortunately, Carlos has the element of surprise on his side and manages to knock Tony to the ground. Kendall and James know they have about ten seconds before their only advantages disappears. They share a quick look and nod before giving their own battle cries and tackling Mark and Damien.

With the fifth graders on the ground, Kendall, James, and Carlos all scramble up, forming a human wall between the bullies and the smaller boy. "Back off!" Kendall yells, sounding far older than his eight years. "Don't touch him!"

"Yeah." James crosses his arms over his chest. "Or you'll have to deal with us."

"All of us." Carlos adds and the three boys give the bullies their best glares.

Mark, Damien, and Tony all look at the boys for a minute before finally getting up and dusting themselves off. "Whatever." Mark mumbles. "The little nerd's not worth all this trouble. Come on guys."

And with that the fifth-graders sulk back towards the playground.

Kendall lets out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. He's actually quite surprised that their plan, or lack there-of, worked as well as it did. He figures the bullies were more surprised or freaked out at the sudden attack than they were hurt by it. Still, it got the job done and Kendall is glad. He turns to the small boy behind them.

"Hey." He offers his hand to the smaller boy who just eyes it warily.

"I'm Carlos." Carlos offers the new kid a friendly smile, sensing his hesitation, although after a greeting like the one Tony, Mark, and Damien had given him, none of the other boys can blame him. "This is James." He points to the taller boy next to him and James waves.

"And I'm Kendall." The blonde stretches his hand out a little further. "And we're not going to hurt you. We're not like those jerks back there."

The small boy sniffles once before finally looking up at his saviors. "Thank you." He tells him and Kendall immediately likes the sound of his voice. "I'm Hortense."

He grabs Kendall's hand and lets the blonde boy help him up. As soon as the smaller boy's hand slips into his, Kendall can feel the tug that had pulled him there disappear. Or rather, it turns back into that gentle pull that goes in no particular direction that he's had for as long as he can remember. And when Hortense smiles, he can't help but smile in return. He feels an empty space in his chest—one that he's always had so he never even realized it was empty until suddenly it wasn't—start to fill up. He can tell by the look in the other boy's eyes that he must be feeling the same thing.

"Come on, Hortense!" Carlos grabs the new boy's arm, causing him to drop the blonde boy's hand. "Come play four-square with us!"

He pulls the other boy towards the playground, James running ahead to get the ball from where it had rolled off to when Kendall had dropped it. Kendall follows behind them, smiling as Hortense's laughter fills the air. The brunette looks back over his shoulder and beams at the blonde. Kendall grins back. The whole situation seems kind of odd, but it also feels like it's exactly what is supposed to happen.

Kendall thinks that Hortense might be exactly what he was waiting for.

* * *

There's chapter two! I'm sure you're all still horribly confused, but don't worry. It gets clearer as time goes by. Or, well, I hope it does at least. Don't forget to leave a review! I love know what you guys think!


	3. Day 2

Okay guys! You're getting chapter three a little early today because I'm headed out to the beach for the day and don't know what time I'll be back. Enjoy. Oh, and just to make things easier, anytime something is _italicized_ and in "quotes", like a lot of text -not just one or two words- that just means that it's someone singing. Nine times out of ten it specifies that, but occasionally, because of the way I write, it doesn't. So there's a heads up on that.

Enjoy!

* * *

o*o*o*o*o  
_Music is the universal language.  
_-Henry Wadsworth Longfellow  
o*o*o*o*o

* * *

Logan tries to clear his brain and focus on the book he's reading. He and Kendall had avoided singing to one other since their random outburst yesterday. They'd gone to the documentary and, while Lucy had been bummed out that Kendall had canceled their—was it supposed to have been a date? Logan wasn't even sure—she hadn't been mad. Everything seems to have returned to normal, but Logan had declined going to the pool with his other three friends. Too much was going on in his head and he'd hoped that a good book would be a perfect distraction.

It wasn't working very well.

Instead of focusing on Einstein's theory of relativity, all he can think about is his fortune from two nights ago. All he can think about is being tangled and fate and their singing. And on the fact that Kendall had insisted on accompanying him to the documentary even though everyone who knew the blonde boy knew that it was the last thing he'd really want to do.

Kendall had been doing things like that for years for Logan.

All he can think about it all the times Kendall has blown off other plans to do something far less interesting with the genius. He remembers the sneers of their Minnesota classmates. And he remembers the terror mixed with elation he'd felt that one time…

_Slowly, Kendall starts leaning over the smaller boy. Logan can feel the blonde's breath hit his face and it actually hurts, how badly he wants to decrease the distance between them. He watches as Kendall licks his lips and knows the other boy feels the same way…_

Logan shakes his head, refusing to get caught up in the memory. That kind of closeness, the kind that the genius aches for, he can't have it. He won't do that to Kendall. Not after…Logan shakes his head. He just won't. Regardless of how he feels about his blonde best friend, Logan won't act on it. Won't give in to the incessant need to be as close to taller boy as possible. He won't give in to the urge to see if the boy's lips feel half as good against his own as he imagines they would. No matter how much his entire being begs for him to give in and try it, _just once_, he won't.

He won't do that to Kendall. He _can't_.

It's why he doesn't ask Kendall to hang out anymore. It's why when they split into pairs of two he always makes sure he's with Carlos or James. It's why he tries to be as not close to his best friend as he can without hurting the other boy's feelings. It doesn't always work, as yesterday's day out goes to show, but it never stops the genius from trying.

Because as much as Logan Mitchell tries to stay away from Kendall Knight (for the blonde's own good), he gets the feeling he'll never be able to completely get away.

-0-

"Hey guys."

The three members of _Big Time Rush_ who are currently lounging around the pool all look up to see Lucy standing next to the pool chair that Kendall is currently occupying.

"Hey Lucy." They greet in unison.

The rocker chick sits in the empty pool chair next to Kendall, the one that's usually reserved for Logan. "So Kendall," the rocker directs her attention completely on the blonde and James and Carlos both go back to their magazines (_Cuda Monthly_ and _Helmets!_ respectively), already knowing the nature of the older girl's mission. "We didn't get to that horror movie the other day."

Kendall nods, looking sheepish. "Yeah, sorry about that. But Logan _loves_ documentaries and I know he secretly hates going to see them alone."

Lucy shrugs. "It's no big. Maybe we can go tonight instead?"

The blonde shrugs too. "Sure why n-" And then he's singing, drawing the attention of everyone in the pool.

"_Disaster was ready to be unleashed._"

Lucy blinks in shock, not sure how to respond to that. "Uh…"

-0-

Logan slams his book shut and sighs. He's just not in the right state of mind to be trying to deal with Einstein. Katie walks in and smiles. "Hey, what's up?"

The genius shakes his head. "Nothing." He holds up the book. "I was attempting to read. But I can't really get into it."

Katie glances at the title and makes a face. "Who could possibly get into that?"

He chuckles. "Well you know me. I usually devour this kind of stuff." The now twelve-year-old girl nods in agreement. "But I just can't concentrate today. Too much stuff on my mind."

She goes to the fridge and pulls out two bottles of water, handing one to the older boy. "Like what?"

He shrugs. "I wish I could explain it…"

Katie shrugs and is about to turn back to go her room when Logan suddenly launches himself up and over the back of the orange couch. She watches with wide eyes as he scrambles to the window and looks down where he can just see Lucy talking to Kendall. He feels a twinge in his chest and before he can stop himself he's singing.

"_Look out, look out, look out, look out, I'm crashing."_

"Logan? What the-"

"_Look out, look out, look out, look out,_" he sings, not realizing that down by the pool Kendall is singing with him, "_two worlds collide again. A twenty four story love affair._"

Katie raises an eyebrow at the boy who has become like another older brother to her. "Uh…"

-0-

Kendall's eyes are drawn to the window of 2J that overlooks the pool. He can just make out Logan, standing in the window and watching him intensely. Kendall meets his friend's gaze, almost completely unaware of the group of people surrounding him.

"_With me down here and you up there._"

"Oh-kay…" Lucy looks to James and Carlos for an explanation. The pretty boy and his helmet wearing best friend both shrug, clearly indicating that they have no idea what's going on. "What was that?"

Kendall shrugs, still unable to tear his gaze away from Logan's. "I have no idea. It won't stop, whatever it is?"

Lucy raises an eyebrow. "You're just bursting into song for no apparent reason."

The blonde nods, still looking up. "Pretty much."

"O-kay, whatever." Lucy shakes her head, the four boys are great friends, and she feels like Kendall would be a great boyfriend, but she's also learned that sometimes they can all be a little weird. She figures this is one of those times. "About that horror movie."

Logan is the first of the two boys to break eye contact; Kendall feels absolutely no inclination to move his gaze from his bookworm of a best friend. He can't be sure, because it's hard to see Logan clearly from two stories down, but it looks like it takes a lot of effort for the smaller boy to tear himself away from the window. Kendall frowns at the sense of loss that invades him as the genius disappears from his sight. He finally turns back to face Lucy. "How about we go tomorrow?" He suggests. "We can hit the matinee and maybe grab lunch before hand?"

Lucy smiles. "Sounds great." Her cell phone beeps a few minutes later and she pulls it out, reading it quickly before standing up. "Well I gotta split. I'll text you later with movie times?"

Kendall nods. "Sounds like a plan."

All three boys wave to her as she disappears into the lobby. James and Carlos waste no time in congratulating him with pats on the back. "You guys don't care?" He asks, sounding confused. "You forbid me from talking to her when she first moved it."

"Yeah," Carlos shrugs. "But that was just so we would have a chance."

James nods. "We had a chance and for some reason she chose you over _this_." He does his "the face" hand motion that the boys have seen a million times before. "So go and have fun, buddy."

The blonde nods. It's been a while since he's done anything date-like. _It'll be fun_ he tells himself. He likes Lucy, or at least he's pretty sure he does. She's pretty, smart, fun to hang out with, and tough enough to keep up with whatever plan Kendall pulls them all into. There's no reason for him not to want to go out with her. No reason at all.

At least, that's what he tries to convince himself, despite the odd tug that keeps pulling his gaze to the now empty window of apartment 2J.

* * *

And there's chapter three! I hope you guys are enjoying this story so far! Also, the song used is _24 Story Love Affair_ by Faber Drive. Don't forget to review. They keep me encouraged to continue posting.


	4. 9 Years Old

Here's chapter four. Not much to say about this except that I love itty bitty Kendall and itty bitty Loga-Hortense. They're one of my favorite things to write. Oh, and I guess, um welcome to every head canon I've ever had about pre-BTR Kendall and Logan. Just about every one. They're not all in this chapter, obviously, but yeah.

Enjoy!

* * *

o*o*o*o*o  
_Nothing is so painful to the human mind  
as a great and sudden change.  
_–Mary Shelley  
o*o*o*o*o

* * *

_9 Years Old_

There's nothing quite like Christmas time, if you ask Kendall Knight. It's the one time of year that everything seems brighter. His mother even seems happier during the holidays. Logically, Kendall knows that his mother misses his father, who had died nearly two years ago, and he knows that she must miss even more than he does. And he can still sometimes see the sadness in his mother's eyes, but never at Christmas time. As soon as Sherwood turns into it's own little version of Tinsel Town, his mother is all smiles and laughter.

Kendall loves the holiday even more because of this.

They're, they being himself, his mother, and his three-year-old baby-sister, are currently decorating the Christmas tree. Or, rather, he and his mother are decorating the tree and Katie is handing them all of her favorite ornaments.

"This one!" She cries, holding up a ballerina ornament to her mother. It has her name of it and the words _First Christmas_ written underneath. Kendall has one just like that's already on the tree, except his is a teddy bear.

Jennifer Knight smiles and takes the ballerina from her daughter. "Where should we put it?" She asks Kendall.

The blonde studies the tree, trying to find the best place. Finally, he points to the empty spot next to his teddy bear ornament. "There. That's the perfect place."

Jennifer studies the tree too before grinning and moving towards it. She hangs up the ornament and they all step back to admire it. "You're right, Kendall. That was the perfect place for it."

He beams at the praise. Katie begins to sing _Twelve Days of Christmas_, except she doesn't know her numbers yet so the fifth day of Christmas and its five golden rings, comes first. Kendall laughs, breathlessly and he and Jennifer join her. The days and the gifts are out of order and mixed around, because Katie doesn't know the whole song, but it's the best thing Kendall's heard all day and he wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.

The smile slips off of his face suddenly though and he moves quickly towards the front door, listening to the tug in his chest that's telling him that something has gone horribly wrong. He throws open the door and is only half surprised to find Hortense standing on his porch, shivering and crying. Well the fact that it's Hortense is what doesn't surprise him. The tug that led him to the door in the first place is a sensation that the blonde has come to identify with his smaller friend.

The crying does surprise and worry him though. As does the fact that Hortense is wearing neither a jacket nor shoes.

"Hortense!" He cries, pulling his smaller friend into the house and wrapping his arms instinctively around the shivering boy. "What happened?"

Jennifer comes into the hallway just in time to hear Hortense's answer. "My dad!" He cries, too upset to even return the hug.

"What happened to your dad, sweetie?" Jennifer pulls Kendall away from his friend, kneels down so that she's level with young boy, and gently helps him out of his soaking wet socks.

"He's gone!" The young boy, now barefoot, bursts into a fresh set of tears and moves immediately to Kendall, who wraps an arm around the smaller boy, leading him to the couch.

Jennifer wraps a blanket around both her son and his best friend. Kendall pulls the other boy closer, relaxing only slightly as Hortense snuggles up against him, soaking in his body heat. He stops shivering, but has yet to stop crying. Kendall fights off his own tears. Ever since he'd meet the small boy, he'd been insanely in tune with his emotions. When Hortense was sad, Kendall cried. When Hortense smiled, Kendall was filled with an immense sense of joy. He couldn't explain it, but that's how it had always been.

Jennifer sits on Hortense's other side, rubbing his back soothingly. "Where did he go?" She asks after the brunette has calmed down enough to speak.

Hortense sniffles and turns watery brown eyes towards her. "I don't know." He whispers finally. "Mom and I-we went out Christmas shopping and when we got home he-all of his stuff-it was just gone!"

The auburn haired woman put a hand over her mouth. "Oh Hortense, honey." She pulls him into a hug. "Is you're mom still at home?" He nods against her chest. "Okay." She pulls away and stands up. "You stay here with Kendall and Katie. I'm going to make sure your mom is okay."

He nods and she moves to the hallway, quickly donning her boot and winter jacket. She turns to Katie before leaving. "Behave." She says sternly to the three-year-old. Katie nods solemnly, seeming to understand how serious the situation is. "Kendall," the blonde turns to look at his mother. "Take care of Hortense okay." She leans over and the top of all three children's heads.

"I will." He says seriously and then his mother is out the door and on her way to the house that's across the street and six houses to the right.

"Kendall?"

The blonde turns to face his friend. "Yeah?"

Hortense huddles on the couch, pulling the blanket even more tightly around him. "I don't think we should be friends anymore."

Kendall's breath catches in his throat at the other boy's words. "What?" He squeaks out, too distressed to be bothered by how high pitched his voice had gone.

Hortense looks up at his friend and Kendall nearly cries at the pain that's reflected in those chocolate brown eyes. He looks lost and like he's lost all hope of every being happy again. "It's just," he tightens the blanket around him even more, "I know you're just going to want to leave me eventually too. Everyone will. And I just-I don't want to hurt like this again!"

The blonde is immediately back on the couch, wrapping his arms around his best friend and pulling him so close to him that he's almost in his lap. "I'm never going to want to leave. Not _ever_." Kendall informs him, trying to sound as stern as he can. He can't explain his urgency. He just knows the he _has_ to make Hortense understand that he isn't going anywhere. "You're the very best friend I've ever had. And I'm _never_ giving you up."

The brunette looks up, looking hopefully at the slightly taller boy. "Never?"

"I promise." Kendall says, making a cross over his heart. "You're stuck with me forever."

Hortense gives him a small, watery smile before throwing his arms around the blonde boy's next. "Thank you." He whispers, letting a few more tears slip down his cheeks.

"Now lets do something to take your mind off of everything." Kendall says. "Want to help me and Katie finish decorating the tree?"

The brunette nods, smiling and even managing to laugh a little as Katie eagerly scrambles to the box of ornaments she's been going through earlier.

-0-

Two hours later and the three children are sitting on the couch, sipping hot chocolate and admiring the way the finished and lit tree makes the room sparkle and glow. Hortense takes a sip of his drink, grimacing just a bit as it burns his tongue. "You know," he admits quietly, starring into his drink, "I feel bad leaving my mom like that."

Kendall blows on Katie's cup and hands it to the small girl before answering. "It must have been hard," he says finally, nodding like he understands, "to be there and your dad's stuff is just gone."

Hortense turns to Kendall, who takes a moment to admire the way the lights on the tree are reflected in his best friend's eyes. "It's not even that." The smaller boy admits after a moment of silence. "My whole chest, my heart, just _hurt_. And the only thing I could think about was that I had to get here. To you."

The blonde throws an arm around the other boy, pulling him closer. "I'm always going to be here, Hortense. Whenever you need me. You don't even need to ignore the feeling that you might need me."

The brunette snuggles closer to his friend, taking another sip of his drink. "I won't. I promise."

* * *

Well I hope you guys liked this. Drop me a review and let me know what you thought. They really keep me motivated!


	5. Day 3

Here's the next chapter. Nothing really to say about this except enjoy!

* * *

o*o*o*o*o  
_There's many a true  
word spoken in jest.  
_-James Joyce  
o*o*o*o*o

* * *

"Okay, we go back to the studio in two days so we have _got_ to figure out what is causing this." Kendall gestures to himself and Logan. "Because Gustavo will kill us if it happens when we're trying to record a song."

"At the very least we have to be able to explain to him what's happening. Hopefully, once we figure out _why_ we're randomly bursting into song, we can figure out how to stop it though." Logan pulls a large book towards him. "I got a few books that might help," he looks up, looking unsure, "but I honestly didn't even know what kind of books to start looking for."

Everyone can sense the unease in the genius' voice. They all know that Logan has spent the majority of his life finding answers in books. He is, as much as his friend's love him and would never want him to change, a nerd at heart and until now, the library, and books, have never failed to provide him with the answers to his questions. Logan doesn't like that his faced with a problem that can't be solved with the right reading material. He's never liked situations like that. But he likes even less the fact that, for the first time in his life, he doesn't even really know where to start looking.

"What if it's a brain thing-y…" James says, suddenly, looking up from his book. "Remember that episode of _Scrubs_ where the lady thought she was in a musical and everyone was singing? Maybe you have something like that."

"Maybe…" Logan sounds skeptical though, which puts Kendall at ease. It had sort of freaked him out when James and had suggested something was wrong with his brain. He'd never even thought of that.

"The odds of Kendall and I both having a brain aneurism—that's what the lady on _Scrubs _had," he explains after he sees his friends' blank faces, "that starts acting up at the same time and causing the exact same symptoms…" He shakes his head. "There's no way. Even if we did both have that and it was causing the exact same symptoms, that still wouldn't explain why we sing all the same songs at the same time. And why you guys can hear it."

"Or why we seem to sing them, like, _together_." Kendall adds. "I mean wouldn't our brains have to be, like, connected for that to happen?"

Logan nods. "Yeah. This is not medical. Or well, it's not a brain problem at least."

James looks thoughtful. "Maybe you guys got abducted by aliens in your sleep and they're performing an experiment on you!" He looks truly terrified by the thought, as does Carlos.

Kendall and Logan look at each other, eyebrows raised. "I don't think so James." The blonde tells him.

"Even if there is other life in the universe, I doubt they'd want to probe mine and Kendall's brains. And I doubt even more that they'd spend their superior technology making us singing randomly." He frowns, "Unless we were some sort of alien entertainment, I guess." He shakes his head. "But I seriously doubt we're on the alien version of _Punk'd_."

"Oh, I know!" Carlos speaks up suddenly. "Maybe it's ancient Chinese magic caused by those wacko fortune cookies from the other night!" He makes exaggerated hand gestures and starts cracking up before he can finish the scary noise he was attempting to make.

All four of the boys get a good laugh out of the Latino's joke. "I take it back," Logan says, "maybe we _are _on the alien version of _Punk'd_." But something nags at the back of the genius' mind. _I felt like something was telling me I _had_ to go…_ He shakes his head and ignores it in favor of laughing with his friends.

Katie and Mama Knight both walk into the living room, drawn out by the sound of the boy's laughter. "What's going on?"

They all turn to Mama Knight, still grinning. "Logie and I are apparently on the alien's version of _Punk'd_." Kendall informs his mother.

Jennifer nods. "Ah. Still no closer to figuring out what's causing that singing, I take it?"

At her words Kendall and Logan fall sullen. "No." They admit. "And we've got to figure it out. It's already starting to get annoying."

"Not for us." Carlos chimes, attempting to be helpful. "We think it's hilarious." He gestures to himself and James.

The other half of _Big Time Rush_ turns and glares at the Latino. He gives them his best "sorry that I'm not sorry" smile and they both sigh. Beside Carlos, James snickers before glancing at the clock. "Hey, aren't you supposed to meet Lucy?"

Kendall's head snaps up and he turns to face the clock. "Oh yeah! I better go or I'm going to be late." He jumps off the couch, grabbing his wallet and heading for the door. "I'll be back in a few hours." He calls to them.

In response he hears: "_This just in, you're a dead fit. But my wit won't allow it._"

He turns back around to find everyone eyeing Logan strangely and said genius trying to sink in the couch, hands clasped over his mouth, and looking utterly mortified. Before he can process what he's doing, Kendall finds himself shaking his head and singing back. "_You're making something out of nothing._"

Logan sits up a little straighter, but if the look on his face is anything to go by, he's not exactly doing it by choice. "_And jealousy's the cousin, the cousin of greed_." They finish together.

There's absolute silence for a full minute as Kendall and Logan just stare at each other and everyone else just stares at them. A flush slowly creeps up the neck of both singing boys and Kendall, seeing that they are done singing for the moment, turns on his heel and hurries out of the apartment.

"That's weird." James comments as the door shuts behind him.

"Uh, buddy, where have you been? That's been happening a lot the past few days." Carlos pats him on the shoulder jokingly.

"No," James shakes his head. "I actually know that song. They're not singing it in order."

Everyone, including Logan, turns to look at the pretty boy. "Really?"

He nods. "Yeah. Those were two totally different parts of the same song."

Carlos looks thoughtful. "I wonder if that changes what we should be looking for then?"

No one answers him because no one, not even Logan, is really sure.

-0-

Kendall can't stop his mind from wandering back to what had just happened in the apartment as he waits for the elevator that will take him up to Lucy's apartment. There must be a reason they're singing the particular songs that they're singing. Especially since, so far Kendall doesn't recognize any of the songs they'd been forced to sing.

He's so caught up in thinking that he nearly misses the elevator as it dings and the doors open. He shakes his head to temporarily clear his head and rushes in. As soon as he hits the button for the third floor, however, his mind goes right back to Logan and their predicament.

What beginning are he and Logan supposed to go back to? And the other song, the one about a love affair, what did that have to do with him and his genius best friend? He can't shake the feeling that there's a reason they sing the songs they do. That maybe he should pay attention the lyrics and not just try and figure out a way to stop it. Although, stopping it would be nice. And if the lyrics do mean something, if he is supposed to be listening to them, does that mean that Logan is jealous? He remembers the mortified look on his best friend's face when he'd been forced to sing just a few minutes ago. It wasn't the normal shock, the typical "oh god, it's happening again" face that both Kendall and Logan had sported since this whole thing started.

It was pure embarrassment. Like he's said/sung something he didn't want anyone else to know. Or at a time when he really just wanted to keep silent. Kendall's not sure what it all means and he doesn't have time to figure it out right now. The elevator comes to a stop and the doors slid open to reveal the hallway that leads to Lucy's apartment. The blonde allows himself one last thought on the matter, before clearing his head as best he can so he can enjoy his almost-date with the Palm Wood's resident rocker.

If Logan is jealous…does that mean that he, Kendall, is greedy?

* * *

That's chapter five. Don't forget to review! It's how I know you guys are reading and enjoying it and that you want more.


	6. 10 Years Old

Here's the next chapter. Enjoy more itty bitty Kendall and Hortense!

* * *

o*o*o*o*o  
_We learn of great things  
by little experiences.  
_-Bram Stoker  
o*o*o*o*o

* * *

_10 years old_

"Hortense, sweetie?" Hortense looks up from his book to find his mother standing in his bedroom doorway, the phone clutched to her chest.

"Yeah mom?"

"Have you heard from Kendall?" She moves towards his closet, knowing it was a favorite hiding spot for the blonde who lives down the street. When her search of the closet comes up empty handed she turns back to her son. "Hortense?"

The brunette shakes his head. "I haven't seen him since we walked home from school. Why?"

Instead of answering his question, his mother puts the phone back up to her ear. "Sorry Jennifer, Hortense hasn't seen him."

Recognizing the name of his best friend's mother, Hortense slides off his bed. He walks over to his mother and holds a hand up for the phone, waiting patiently until the older woman gives it to him. "Mama Knight?" He speaks once he has it, "what happened?"

"Hortense! Are you sure you haven't seen Kendall?"

"Not since school today, sorry. Why?"

"We got into an argument about his grades after I got home from work today." Hortense's gaze flickers to where his own report card is sitting on his nightstand, waiting for his mother to look it over. "He ran out and I can't find him."

The small boy has never heard his friend's mother sound like this. Frightened and helpless and small. She had been a rock for both he and his mother when his father had left the year before. It hurts the younger boy to hear her sound like this. He loves Mama Knight as if she were his own mother. He's sure that Kendall is safe. He can feel it and he's quickly learned that, when it comes to the blonde, his gut feelings are never wrong. But he knows that won't do Mama Knight much good right now.

"It'll be okay, Mama Knight." He tells her. "I'll go look for Kendall."

"Hortense, sweetie, no-"

But he doesn't hear whatever she was going to say against his idea, because he hands the phone back to his mother. "I'm going to go find Kendall, Mom." He moves to his closet and grabs a sweater because it's starting to get just cool enough to need one.

"Hortense, you are not going out when it's dark out."

Hortense looks up at his mother, face serious. He knows she's nervous because he's only ten and very small, but she needs to understand. He can do this. Probably better than anyone else. "Don't worry." He assures her as he grabs the flashlight stored in his nightstand for when the power goes out during really bad snowstorms. "I won't be gone long, I promise."

Then he closes his eyes and just thinks about his best friend.

"Hortense Logan Mitchell, what are you do-"

"Shh." He holds up a hand to silence her, cutting her off mid-question. He concentrates and after a few seconds he can feel a gentle tug that's pulling him in the direction of the neighborhood park a few blocks over. Or that's where Hortense would say it was going to lead him if he had to guess. He opens his eyes and heads towards the stairs. "I'll be right back as soon as I get Kendall!" He calls, moving downstairs and out the door before his mother can stop him.

Mama Mitchell stands at the top of the stairs, getting a perfect view of the front door as it closes behind her only child. "What in the world?"

-0-

Hortense moves quickly, not quite running, but definitely not walking, as he follows the gentle tug in his chest. It's like someone or something he can't see has grabbed his shoulders and is steering him in the right direction. Five minutes later he realizes his first instinct was right. He's standing at the playground that's only a few blocks from his street. It's almost halfway between where James lives and where Kendall and Hortense live. It's even in walking distance of Carlos' house, although he has to walk a little farther, and all four boys often meet up there during the summer.

At the very end of the playground are several large plastic, well, tubes—for lack of a better word. And from one of the tubes Hortense can just make out the outline of a very familiar pair of converse sneakers.

Wordlessly, the brunette makes his way to the tube. The sound of his feet on the sand makes just enough noise that the blonde is alerted to his presence. Without even waiting to see if his friend recognizes him, Hortense climbs into the tube with him. It's a tight squeeze; if the boys were any bigger they wouldn't fit at all. As it is, the brunette, who is slightly smaller than Kendall, has to sort of snuggle up against his friend.

"Hey." He whispers once he's settled.

"Hi."

Hortense shifts just enough to lift his head up and make eye contact with the other boy. Or try to. Kendall refuses to meet his gaze. "So you're mom got mad."

Kendall nods. "I'm just…I'm not smart like you are, 'Tense. I try to be but I just-I'm not interested in that stuff. I don't want my mom to hate me, but I can't help it."

"You're mom doesn't hate you!" Hortense remembers how scared Mama Knight had sounded on the phone and knows without a doubt that she doesn't hate Kendall. That she could never hate him.

"I know she wants me to be smart. I bet it would be better for her if I was smart"

The brunette shakes his head. "You're mom wants you to do your best. And we both know what you can do if you put your mind to it. And she only does it 'cuz she knows life will be easier for _you_ if you do."

Kendall tries to shrug, but it's difficult in the cramped quarters. "I know. I just…" he sighs, "it's hard to do my best when it's all so boring!"

Hortense frowns and wishes, not for the first time, that he could share his enthusiasm for learning and his thirst for knowledge with his best friend. "Maybe we can work on it together." He says finally. "I mean I love learning and school and I'm not boring…am I?"

"No way!" The blonde's head shakes furiously. "You're the only one who makes school even a little interesting!"

The other boy smiles. "Okay. Together then."

Kendall pulls the smaller boy closer, ruffling his hair affectionately. "What would I do without you 'Tense?"

"Probably hide out here in this tube all night." His light demeanor turns serious. "You shouldn't have run off like that, Kendall. You're mom was really scared."

"Yeah," the blonde looks guiltily down at his shoes. "I just hate when my mom is disappointed in me. I needed to get away from it."

"Next time, come to me. I won't make you go home and it's safer than the park."

"I-I wanted to go to your house." His friend admits quietly. "But I was afraid I would be bothering you."

Hortense pushes himself up so quickly he nearly hits his head. "Kendall." He forces the blonde to look at him. "Remember last Christmas? When you told me you were always going to be there for me?" Kendall nods. "Well that goes both ways. You're _my_ best friend. And you'll never be bothering me. Not matter what it is."

He slides out of the tube and waits patiently for the blonde to mimic his actions. "Now let's go home."

He turns to leave but Kendall grabs his hand, preventing him from moving. He turns back to face his friend who is looking sheepishly at the ground. "Let's not go back yet. Can we look at the stars for a while first?"

The brunette nods. "Sure." They climb up to the monkey bars, stretching out side by side, Hortense's feet next to Kendall's head, on top of them.

"Do you know where the constellations are?" Kendall asks.

Hortense shakes his head. "No. But I can find out. Maybe Friday we can lay out in my backyard and find them."

Kendall nods, smiling warmly at his best friend. "If I'm not grounded for doing to bad in school."

The smaller boy thinks back to how worried Mama Knight had sounded on the phone and realizes that if Kendall is going to get grounded for anything, it will be for running off, not for his grades. But the blonde is finally starting to smile again so he decides to keep that information to himself.

The stars aren't going anywhere after all.

* * *

There's chapter six! Seven will be up soon!


	7. Day 4

Here's chapter seven. I know it was supposed to be up yesterday, but I got stuck at work until about 2:30 am so you're getting it today. Enjoy!

* * *

o*o*o*o*o  
_There's a lot of magic between you  
and me, ain't no denying that.  
And magic makes forgetting hard.  
_-Nicholas Sparks  
o*o*o*o*o

* * *

"How do you think it went?" It's Carlos that finally breaks the silence.

Logan, James, and Carlos are all sitting on the couch of apartment 2J. Kendall is out with his mother and Katie; they're having a Knight Family lunch, something that Mama Knight had insisted upon doing at least once a month ever since they moved to LA. The other three members of _Big Time Rush_ are currently speculating how Kendall's almost-date with Lucy had gone the day before. The blonde had been uncharacteristically quiet ever since he'd returned from the outing and no one can figure out if that's a good thing or a bad thing.

"Maybe he had a horrible time. Lucy can be kind of intimidating." Carlos admits, shrugging casually.

"But she's super hot! How could he have a horrible time with a super hot chick?"

Logan glares at his taller friend. "There's more to a relationship than look, James."

"I know." The pretty boy responds defensively. "I wasn't talking about a relationship though. I was talking about a date. An almost-date at that!"

"Do you think maybe it turned into a real date?" Carlos asks. "Maybe that's why he hasn't said anything."

The boys turn silent once again as James and Carlos continue to try and figure out their blonde friend's odd silence and Logan tries to ignore the unpleasant churning in his gut at the image of Kendall and Lucy on a real date. He wanted this to happen. Had hoped that Kendall would walk in and announce to the group that he was officially dating the resident rocker chick. That didn't make the idea of it hurt any less though.

"Maybe she wanted to keep it a secret." James says. "Maybe one of them thinks we'll be jealous of him or something."

"That's dumb." Carlos retorts. "Kendall knows we'd be happy for him. Besides, it's not like there aren't other girls at the Palms Woods for us."

James nods. "I know. I just can't figure it out."

"Maybe the date was so terrible that he doesn't know to tell us? Maybe he thinks that will make things awkward since we're all friends."

James shrugs. "I don't know about that. Kendall's always told us about all his bad dates before."

_Not all of them_, Logan thinks, but doesn't say anything out loud. He just listens as his friends continue to discuss their different theories and tries his best to fight the urge to throw up.

"Guys." He says finally, after Carlos's particularly x-rated theory about why maybe Kendall is so quiet because he doesn't have a voice left (James looks rather scared by this theory as well, so Logan doesn't feel so bad for putting a stop to it), "Kendall's our best friend. He probably hasn't said anything to us about it because he doesn't know how _he _feels about it. Otherwise you know he would have said something."

"Yeah, I guess that makes sense." Carlos admits, looking relieved at the suggestion. "He just needs some time to figure things out."

"Exactly." Logan agrees before standing up and heading towards the front door. "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm doing to hang out with Camille."

"Oh? Are you guys on again?" James asks.

The genius shrugs, giving the most noncommittal answer that he can. "She's…showing interest again, I guess."

"You know, Logan," Carlos has that look on his face, the one he gets when the tables are turned and he and James have to act like the parents for either Logan or Kendall, "you don't sound all that interested."

"It's not fair to Camille to lead her on like that if you're not into her." James chides and Logan blinks in shock because his pretty friend almost sounds defensive.

Logan shrugs again because James doesn't actually know the whole story and telling his friends the whole story would involve revealing more than he's sure he wants either of his two best friends to know at this point. Besides, right now he needs a distraction and Camille is a good (and willing) distraction.

"Hey guys!" Kendall walks back into the apartment, followed by his mother and baby sister. "Want to hit the ice rink?"

"No thanks." Logan says, although his whole body is screaming to say "yes," as he moves past him and heads towards the door, "I'm off to hang out with Camille." He does his best to ignore the way Kendall's face falls at both the genius' decline of the invitation and the mention of his ex-girlfriend.

Because without a distraction Logan knows he won't be able to fight this thing. This urge that he's been fighting for nearly four years. And with all the weird stuff that's been happening, he can't afford to give in to the pull to be with Kendall. He just can't.

"_Dance hard, laugh more, turn the music up now!_" Logan is surprised to hear the familiar words of one of _Big Time Rush's _songs pouring past his lips. Thankfully the hallway is empty of anyone except the Jennifer's who all turn and eye him oddly. His too focused on moving towards Camille's door to notice them though.

"_Party like a rock star. Can I get a 'what now'?"_

"Uh, what now?" The Jennifer's all speak in unison as they pass each other, the girls still eyeing him strangely.

"_I swear I'll do anything that I have to_…" His voice is strong and fierce, full of a kind of determination that is normally absent in the rather meek bookworm. He knocks on Camille's door and is glad to hear the sound of someone shuffling inside.

"'_Til I forget about you_."

-0-

Kendall stands in front of his two friends, breathing heavily even though the song he'd just sung hadn't required that much energy. He feels like he's just run a marathon though. But it's the kind of strain that's emotional rather than physical. Like his emotions have run the marathon.

Before him, still seated on the couch, Carlos and James both blink in shock. This is the first time that either of them has heard either one of their other two friends sing one of their songs. In all honesty, no one had actually considered the possibility that they may end up singing on of their own songs. It's actually weird to hear the blonde leader burst out randomly into one of their own songs than it was to hear him sing something they only vaguely know.

Mostly because it hadn't been all that odd for any of the four boys to sing random bits and pieces of their own songs on a day to day basis before this whole thing started.

"Uh…" But before James can finish his thought, Kendall's voice, soft and not at all like how the song is supposed to be sung, cuts him off.

"_I can't forget about you._"

* * *

And there's the next chapter. Eight will be up tomorrow!


	8. 11 Years Old

And here's chapter 8. (:

* * *

o*o*o*o*o  
_The part always has tendency to  
reunite with its whole in order  
to escape from its imperfections.  
_-Leonardo Da Vinci  
o*o*o*o*o

* * *

_11 Years Old_

Hortense sighs, turning off the TV and shuffling out of the living room. TV rarely catches his interest anymore anyways; it's just not as fun when he's not watching it with his friends. Somehow, the three boys that Hortense is closest to make things that wouldn't normally interest him, like cartoons, into something he can do for hours. James and Carlos are both with their respective families today, however, and Kendall is out of state, visiting his grandparents. It's Spring Break for the boys and Kendall has been absent for all of it.

He's due back tomorrow, though, for which Hortense is extremely grateful.

It's not that he doesn't enjoy hanging out with James and Carlos, because he does. The taller brunette and the Latino are quickly becoming like brothers to the youngest Mitchell and he wouldn't trade them for anything in the world. But Kendall is his _best _friend, hands down, no questions asked. And everything the small boy does is better if the blonde is doing it with him.

He wanders into his mother's office, finding the real estate agent hard at work at her desk. She looks up as he walks in, smiling at her only son. "Yes?"

Hortense shrugs. "I'm bored."

"Why don't you read a book?"

The brunette frowns. "I've read them all already." His mother knows that when he says this he's not just talking about having read them once. He's actually referring to having read pretty much all of them over Spring Break. The power of her child's brain never fails to amaze her.

"TV?" She suggests.

He shakes his head. "It's really not entertaining without my friends." He admits. "Sorry."

Joanna smiles at the sheepish expression on her son's face. "You don't have anything to be sorry for. I'm not a big fan of TV myself." She puts down the paper work she is working on. "So what would you like to do?"

He shrugs, looking thoughtful. "I don't know…" And then suddenly, without being able to explain why, he has the strangest craving for the grilled cheese at the little diner downtown. "Can we go out for dinner?"

Joanna glances at the clock. It's barely four o'clock. "It's a little early for dinner, don't you think sweetie?"

Hortense shrugs again because, usually, his body is on a pretty regular schedule. He doesn't generally even get hungry for dinner until close to five thirty. But he can't shake he strange craving for grilled cheese and french fries. Or, more specifically, the grilled cheese and fries from the diner that Mama Knight had taken all four boys on occasion, usually after hockey practices that ran particularly late (hockey practices where Hortense was still just a spectator, he hadn't quite gotten good enough to make the team just yet).

"Please?" He begs. "I really want to go _Shelby's_."

This surprises them both. Joanna doesn't get take out food often, preferring to cook healthy meals at home for herself and Hortense. When he gets to go out, it's rarely with her. She'd much rather stay home and cook, she's always loved cooking, and Hortense, most likely as a result of that, has never shown much of a desire to eat out either. But she sees no harm in taking him out this once. Spring Break ends the day after tomorrow and she knows he's been lonely without his blonde best friend. And it would be nice to not have to worry about cooking, just for night.

"Well, okay." She finally agrees, smiling as her son's face literally seems to light up at her word of approval. "Let me just finish this up real quick, okay?"

He nods and turns to race out of the room. He turns back when he reaches the door. "Thanks mom!"

-0-

"Here you go, guys." Their waitress returns to their table, a basket of mozzarella sticks in her hand. "Enjoy!" She flashes them a bright smile before heading back to the kitchen.

Joanna eyes the deep friend cheese sticks, always wary of food that is less than healthy. But Hortense looks so excited about them that she can't even really begin to care. Besides, it's been far too long since she let herself indulge in something unhealthy. Before either of them can even begin to enjoy their appetizer, they hear a shout from across the dinner.

"Hortense!"

The younger boy turns his head, his eyes growing wide with excitement at the sight of his best friend. "Kendall!"

The blonde races towards the table, nearly knocking over the waitress who is carrying a tray of drinks to a table. Mama Knight, who was just behind her son with Katie, tries to apologize, but the waitress brushes it off with a smile.

"Don't worry about it." Her eyes twinkle. "I remember when I got that excited to see my best friend. It's cute."

Kendall and Hortense hear none of this though. They're too busy chatting excitedly about anything and everything. The blonde slides into the empty seat beside the brunette and his mother smiles and shrugs at Joanna before taking a seat next to her, settling Katie in between the two of them. "I guess we're sitting with you." She says breathlessly, half laughing at the excited way her son is bouncing in his seat.

"Hortense! I got to go to the zoo and they had llamas! You could pet them!"

The brunette's eyes go wide (llamas are his favorite animal). "Really?"

"Yeah!" The blonde nods enthusiastically. "I even got a picture with them so you could see!"

The smaller boy's grin threatens to split his face in two. "Thanks Kendall!" Suddenly he frowns in confusion. "Wait…why are you home? I thought you came back tomorrow?"

"I was supposed to." Kendall grabs a mozzarella stick and pops it into his mouth as his mother scolds him for taking what isn't his. He smiles sheepishly, but what both mothers don't seem to understand (no matter how many times the boys try to tell them), they'd long ago realized that when it came to the two of them, their was no "mine" or "yours," there was only "ours."

"But Kendall's grandpa got the days mixed up." Jennifer laughs lightly. "He bought the ticket for today, but told us all that it was for tomorrow. And Katie got hungry on the way back from the airport, so here we are."

Katie pouts, crossing her arms over her chest. This draws everyone's attention to the four year old and how uncharacteristically silent she's been this whole time. "What's wrong, Katie? Aren't you glad Kendall's home?"

"Yeah…" the little girl answers, but she sounds anything but.

"Katie and I were supposed to have a girl's day today before we picked Kendall up from the airport tomorrow." Mama Knight explains. "She's just a little disappointed that we didn't get to have it."

Katie nods her head in agreement. Joanna eyes Katie for a moment before smiling. "I have an idea." She says, turning to look at the two boys across the table. "If Kendall doesn't mind being away from his bed for one more night, he could spend tonight at our house and spend tomorrow with Hortense." She turns back to face Jennifer and Katie. "That way you two can still have your girls day."

Katie's face brightens considerably at the suggestion, but it's no match for the looks that Kendall and Hortense are sporting. "YES!" They cry out in unison.

"Please mom?" Kendall turns to face his mother, lower lip stuck out in the infamous Knight pout. "Oh please mom, please!"

Jennifer shrugs. "That's fine with me. All Kendall could talk about the whole ride home was getting to see Hortense again."

Kendall flushes a bit but it fades quickly. Hortense reaches for his friend's hand under the table, gripping it in a gesture that is both familiar and comfortable. "I missed you." He tells the blonde, giving his hand a quick squeeze.

The slightly taller boy grins, returning the gesture. "Missed you too, 'Tense."

The food arrives and both boys let go of each other's hands in favor of eating their food. They sit close, thighs touching and enjoying being in one another's presence again. This past week as been the longest they've ever been apart before and neither boy had been able to fight the feeling that something was missing the entire time.

They don't totally understand it, but they do know they wouldn't change it for the world.

* * *

There's chapter eight!


	9. Day 5

Here's chapter nine! (: Enjoy!

* * *

o*o*o*o*o  
_Speak when you are angry  
and you will make the best  
speech you will ever regret.  
_-Ambrose Bierce  
o*o*o*o*o

* * *

"What are we going to do about Gustavo?" Carlos asks as he grabs another waffle and douses it with syrup.

"I mean clearly we won't get much done if we try and go into the studio and you guys keep bursting into song." James adds as both the pretty boy and the energetic Latino turn to face their two friends.

Kendall shrugs. "I have no idea." He admits. "I agree that it would definitely be bad idea to go in today, but-"

"But Gustavo already gave us yesterday off so that we could have a three day weekend, so he's probably not going to be too thrilled about us asking for _more_ time off." Logan finishes.

"But on the other hand, if we go in there and end up messing up the harmonies or dance practice or whatever, he's just going to kill us anyways."

"And with the way our luck's been going, we'd probably end up screwing up something really important."

All four boys sigh and turn back to their breakfast; clearly unsure of how to handle the situation they are currently in. As good as Gustavo had been to them, as patient as he had been, because, in all honesty, the record producer had actually been extremely patient with his "dogs," they all doubt very much that he'd find Logan and Kendall's little impromptu "jam sessions" (as they'd taken to calling them) very amusing. Especially since they still didn't have any explanation for _why_ these jam sessions were happening.

Suddenly, from the couch in the living room, Katie starts coughing violently. All four boys immediately forget their current predicament and turn to the twelve-year old girl in concern. "Katie what's wrong?" They all leave the table and their food in favor of crowding around their little sister.

"You." She manages to gasp out in between coughs. "are all _idiots_!" And as suddenly as the coughing started, it stops, leaving Kendall, Logan, James, and Carlos looking confused and Katie looking smug.

"Say wha?"

Katie rolls her eyes. "Just tell Gustavo you guys are," She coughs once more for emphasis, "sick."

All four boys grin at one another at the idea and James pulls out his cell phone. Katie just rolls her eyes again.

"Idiots."

-0-

James winces and pulls the phone away from his ear. Even with the new distance between himself and the phone, he, and everyone else, can hear Gustavo screaming. "We're sorry, Gustavo," James tries his best to calm the older man, "But both Kendall and Logan are really sick."

"I think they got some bad Chinese food the other night." Carlos offers in jest, although from the way the producer falls silent, they can all tell he believes him.

"Fine." Gustavo sighs, clearly not happy about the turn of events. "There's really no point in you guys coming in if two of the dogs are too sick to do anything. But I want you here bright and early _tomorrow_."

"Right. We'll call you as soon as Kendall and Logan are feeling better!" James continues, completely ignoring Gustavo's last sentence. "Bye!"

He hangs up the phone and all four boys sigh in relief. "Well that's takes care of Gustavo for today." Kendall falls back onto the couch, glad to have one less thing to worry about.

"Yes," Logan, who was already on the couch, scoots as far over from the blonde as he can get, "but we won't be able to use the sick excuse forever. We've got to figure out what's going on." He pulls more books up onto the coffee table and the other three boys groan.

"Not more reading!" James cries, throwing an arm over his face. "I don't think I can handle anymore books!"

"Yeah," Carlos chimes in, "we've spent basically the last two days looking for an answer. My brain hurts."

"But-"

"The answer might not be in a book, Logan." Kendall looks over at his friend.

"That's ridiculous." The genius tries to argue. "There has to be a logical explanation for why this happening. I can find it if I just look hard enough."

"Logan." Carlos' voice is soothing as he speaks to the brunette who is starting to show the signs of a typical "Logan panic attack," "have you ever thought that maybe there isn't a logical explanation for all this. Nothing about this situation seems logical."

Logan's already tense from the past few days, from saying more than he feels comfortable saying, even if it is in song. He's on edge because this, well whatever, this is, is causing all kinds of tension between himself and his best friend. He's frustrated because he's never _not_ been able to find the answer to a problem before and he hates this helpless feeling. He doesn't mean to snap at the Latino, he knows that it's not Carlos' fault and that his friend is just trying to help. But he does all the same. "There _has _to be a logical explanation, Carlos," he snaps, sounding meaner than he'd intended to. "There just has to be."

"There's not always a logical explanation!" Kendall snaps back, in defense of their friend, pushing himself up into a sitting position and turning to face the genius.

The tension in the air is so thick that all four boys feel like they could choke on it. It's different than the awkward or embarrassed silence that has been following their sporadic singing. Neither Kendall or Logan can look away from one another and neither James nor Carlos want to be the first to break the silence.

Luckily, Kendall does it for them.

"_When it doesn't matter who's right_."

James and Carlos both fight to hide their smiles as their blonde leader starts signing and wait eagerly for Logan to join in.

"_Fight about it all night._"

"_Had enough!_" They sing, or well it's more like yelling, together.

"_You give me that look…_"

And this time Kendall finds himself waggling his eyebrow, quite unable to help himself. "_I'm sorry baby, let's make up!_"

And then there's more silence. Fortunately, it's the same awkward, embarrassed silence that all four boys have gotten familiar with over the past three days. Both Kendall and Logan, being fully aware of the kind of making up the song had been describing, (Kendall's involuntary eyebrow waggle had left little room for doubt), are a bright red. James and Carlos are trying to desperately to hide their snickers.

Katie walks in, back from the lobby, pack of Fruit Smackers in hand. She takes one look at the four boys before her and smirks. "What did I miss?"

-0-

Later that evening Kendall joins Logan down by the pool, where the genius is engrossed in a book about Physics. The bookworm barely even registers as Kendall sits down on the empty pool chair next to him.

"Hey."

At the blonde's voice the genius finally looks up. He flushes as soon as he makes eye contact, but doesn't break it. "Hey."

"Look," Kendall sighs, flopping back and stretching out onto the chair, "I'm sorry for snapping at you earlier."

Logan sighs and rubs his hand across his face. "I'm sorry too. I didn't mean to snap at Carlos and I've already apologized to him. This is just… it's really freaking me out."

Kendall nods. "Trust me. I know what you mean. But whatever this is, I don't like what's it's doing to us. I don't want things to be weird. Especially since they just started getting better."

"Yeah." Logan nods in agreement. "It might hard though. This is _way_more weird than I'm used to dealing with. And that's saying something because two of my best friends are James and Carlos."

The blonde chuckles. "Tell me about it." He sits up suddenly, his face serious. "We're going to be okay, aren't we Logie?"

The genius hesitates for about half a minute before smiling gently at his friend. "Yeah, Kendall. We're going to be okay."

"Good." He stands up, all traces of seriousness gone from his features. He even grins as he bends over and picks up his smaller friend, carrying him bridal style to the edge of the pool.

"Kendall!" Logan realizes what his friend is about to do and quickly throws his book back onto the pool chair to keep it safe. "Don't you da-"

His threat turns into a shriek as Kendall, still carrying the bookworm in his arms, jumps into the famous Palm Woods pool. They both pop up a minute later, Logan sputtering and Kendall laughing.

"Oh," Logan glares from under his bangs, which are now hanging limply in his face. "You think that's funny, do you?"

Kendall is laughing too hard to reply.

"Oh, it's on now!" Logan gives a war cry before tackling the taller boy.

They laugh and wrestle for the next hour and it's almost like nothing has changed. It's enough to make them forget, at least for now, that anything is going on at all. They're just Kendall and Logan: no songs, no labels, no awkward tension. Just two boys on the edge of more than best friends but less than lovers.

And Logan will allow himself to have this…just this once.

* * *

Hope you guys enjoyed this! As always, reviews are greatly appreciated.


	10. 12 Years Old

Enjoy more itty bitty Kogan!

* * *

o*o*o*o*o  
'_You would wind up as a cat' I told her.  
_'_They don't need anyone else.'  
_'_I need you.' She replied.  
_'_Well,' I said. 'Maybe I'll come  
back as catnip.'  
_-Jodi Picoult  
o*o*o*o*o

* * *

_12 Years Old_

"This is actually not boring!" Carlos exclaims as he turns another page in the book that Hortense had handed him.

They four boys are sitting in the library attempting to do research for a project for history. They'd begun studying Ancient Egypt earlier in the year and, for once, Hortense wasn't the only one interested in the subject.

"I know!" Kendall points to a picture of a long metal rod in the Latino's book. "They used that to take out your brains!"

"How awesome is that!"

All four boys share a high five before the school librarian glares and tells them to be quiet. Giggling as softly as possible, they all turn back to their respective books. "There's one thing I don't get though." Carlos admits as he looks up at Hortense. "Why did they go through all this trouble to make the bodies last forever if they just thought they were going to be born again as someone else?"

The bookworm shakes his head. "They didn't. Egyptians believed you had one life and an afterlife. The body, and all your worldly possessions-if you were rich enough- needed to be saved so that you could use them later. Reincarnation-the belief in being born again as someone or something else-" he adds at the three blank looks he receives at the word, "is actually an Eastern belief. It's mostly found in the religions of most of Asia, like Buddhism or Hinduism."

His three best friends all stare at him in awe and Hortense can feel the flush creeping up his neck. "What?"

"Wow, Hortense." Kendall breathes out, unable to tear his gaze away from the smaller boy, "I think you might be the smartest person _ever_!"

Carlos and James nod enthusiastically. "Totally!" James cries, earning them another glare from the librarian. "You know everything." He adds in a whisper.

"And it's not as boring when you talk about stuff." Carlos adds.

Hortense blushes at his friends' praise. "It's no big deal." He shrugs casually. "I just like to learn about stuff."

"Well I think I like the idea of reincarnation." James declares. "I'm so awesome it would probably take a hundred life times before people could properly appreciate me!" He glances at his friends. "Well, except for you guys."

"If we were reincarnated," Carlos grins, looking really enthusiastic, "I bet I was a king!"

"I bet I was the guy who invented hockey!" Kendall joins in.

"I'm pretty sure I was Elvis." James tells them seriously.

They all turn to Hortense. "What were you?"

The brunette stops and thinks. "Maybe I was…"

"I bet you were Einstein!" Kendall chimes in enthusiastically. "Or that guy who invented gravity!"

Hortense chuckles. "Nobody invented gravity, Kendall. Isaac Newton did discover how it worked though."

"See?" The blonde beams at his best friend. "Einstein!"

All four boys chuckle before turning back to their books. There's silence for a few minutes before James puts down his book. "So does everyone get reincarnated or is it just people who are awesome, like us?"

The other brunette laughs lightly, shaking his head. "Everyone, James. Reincarnation is a religious belief. I don't get the whole concept fully," He frowns and the other three know it's because Hortense hates when he doesn't understand things, "But it's kind of like there are stairs that lead up to Nirvana, which isn't exactly a heaven, but it's easiest to explain it that way, and if you're a good person when you die you get reborn as someone on a step higher than you. If you're bad, you get reborn as someone or something on a step lower than you. If you're a good person for enough lives you reach Nirvana. You know the saying "what goes around comes around"?" Kendall, James, and Carlos nod. "It's a lot like that, I guess." He shrugs.

He's aware that there are some flaws in his explanation, but the concept is hard enough for him to understand, let alone to explain to his three friends who, while certainly not stupid, are clearly not up to his level when it comes to academics and learning.

"Really? I've never heard all that."

Hortense shrugs again. "You probably wouldn't have. The media and entertainment companies, like movies, have sort of twisted the idea a little to suit their needs. We see people being born again more frequently attached to the idea that it happens because something that was supposed to happen in a past life didn't. Like two people who were supposed to fall in love but missed each other or whatever."

"My mom loves watching movies like that." James admits, "She watched one where two people where tied together or something like that."

The shorter boy nods. "That's more of Chinese/Japanese belief." He tells his friends, who are all still listening intently. "You're apparently connected to someone though all lifetimes or whatever." He shrugs. "It's like the 'yarn of not having a choice' or something."

Kendall grins. "I bet the four of us are connected. And we've been causing trouble together for ages."

James and Carlos both wear matching Cheshire cat grins as they nod in agreement. Hortense, however, turns an interesting shade of red. "A-actually…" He's rather embarrassed and thinks part of it has to do with the funny way the blonde makes his stomach flutter when he smiles at him. "It's really only, um, lovers who are connected like that."

"Oh." Kendall looks momentarily disappointed by the idea before shrugging it off and going back to his book on Ancient Egypt.

"You know what though," James says, because as interesting as mummification is, he, Carlos, and Kendall still hate doing schoolwork. "I bet even if the four of us weren't reincarnated together, Hortense and Kendall were."

The latter smiles at James while the former turns even redder and manages to stutter out, "W-what? Why?"

"Duh." Carlos rolls his eyes, which are just peeking over the top of his book. "There's no Hortense without Kendall."

"Exactly! Remember when we were younger and Kendall kept saying he was waiting?"

It's Kendall's turn to flush as James and Carlos laugh good-naturedly. One look at his other best friend, and the blonde can tell that he still feels really embarrassed about the whole thing. It's no secret that Hortense looks up to Kendall for a lot of things, friendship, protection, a place to go when he was house was just too _empty_ right after his father had left. He also knows that the smaller boy feels bad about depending on him for so much.

In effort to make the other boy feel better, Kendall reaches across the table and gives Hortense's hand a reassuring squeeze. And even though he's trying to make his best friend feel better, there's a strange, but familiar sensation in his chest that reminds him that he's also being completely honest.

"It's okay, 'Tense." He says with complete sincerity. "There's no Kendall without no Hortense either."

* * *

And here's chapter 12 (: Reviews are always appreciated!


	11. Day 6

You're getting this chapter a little early because I work all day today and I don't want to get stuck there super late and then not be able to upload this. So here you go, enjoy!

* * *

o*o*o*o*o  
_If you don't learn to laugh at  
trouble, you won't have anything  
to laugh at when you're old.  
_-Edgar Watson Howe  
o*o*o*o*o

* * *

"Hey guys." James and Carlos glance up from their respective magazines to see Lucy and Camille walking towards them.

"Hello ladies." James gives them his patented pretty boy smirk.

Lucy rolls her eyes. Camille giggles. And both girls drop down onto the pool chairs that half of _Big Time Rush_ are currently occupying, sitting near their feet. "So…anyone want to explain what's going on with Kendall and Logan?"

James and Carlos share a look before turning back to face the rocker chick and method actress. "We're not really sure, to be honest." Carlos confesses.

"They've been acting like this for a few days. We've had to call out sick from working on our new album because we never know when they're going to start singing again."

"So this isn't all some big joke?"

The boys both shake their head. "We thought it might be the first time it happened. But even Kendall wouldn't keep a prank like this going for nearly a week. Especially when it seems to be doing nothing but embarrass them and amuse us."

"Yeah." Camille adds, tossing her hair over her shoulder. "I remember the other day, Logan came to hang out and he was just finishing singing a song. And then kept his lips shut for like another ten minutes, almost like he was afraid he would start singing again."

The four friends fall into a thoughtful silence, each one pondering the situation that there other friends are currently in. Finally Lucy breaks the silence. "Do you guys ever get the feeling that they're singing to each other? Or about each other? Or is that just me?"

James and Carlos both shake their head. "Oh no. They're definitely singing to each other."

"That's really weird." The rocker comments.

"Not really." Camille blinks as everyone turns to face her in shock. "What? I mean -if you think about it- Kendall and Logan have always been close. At least, they have been as long as I've known them. I was sort of surprised when I learned they weren't dating, but I didn't mind it because I liked Logan. Plus I remember how defensive Kendall looked that time I first called Logan hot."

"But doesn't this bother you?" Lucy presses on. "I mean you like Logan."

Camille shrugs. "I don't know. I mean, I used to, but this whole on again off again thing is getting old. We were never really on again anyways. It's just what we've been doing for so long that it's become routine." She feels bad, lying to her friends, but she's not going to break her promise. "I wouldn't mind if he and Kendall were dating or whatever. They're my friends. As long as they're happy, I'm happy."

Carlos puts down his magazine. "I'm not even sure if that's what's happening here. I mean, even if they are singing love songs, they're clearly freaked out about it."

"I like Kendall," Lucy confesses, although no one is surprised by this, "and until I hear from Kendall that he doesn't feel that way about me, I'm not backing down. I'm going to talk to Logan. You'll talk to Kendall for me, please Camille?"

The actress shrugs again. "Sure. I just want my friends to be happy, who ever that's with."

The two girls look around the pool. "Where are Kendall and Logan?"

James looks back up from his magazine (he and Carlos had really lost interest in the conversation once Lucy had started talking about her feelings for Kendall-they're both pretty much over their infatuation with the rocker chick, but they're still a little sore at being friend-zoned). "At the library. Logan left about two hours ago to do more research and Kendall insisted he go with him."

Camille raised an eyebrow. "Why aren't you guys helping them?"

"Honestly," Carlos looks up over his magazine too, both boys looking guilty, "we're just really tired of reading books."

The girls shake their heads, only partially amused by the boys' antics. "I guess we can always talk to them tomorrow."

-0-

"I'm beginning to think this is impossible." Kendall sighs and lets his head drop onto the monster of a book that he'd been attempting to read.

Across from him, Logan sighs as well and closes his own book. "I hate to admit it…but I think you might be right. I don't think we're going to be able to find the answers in a book. At least not in this library."

He sighs again, rubbing his forehead. "I just don't get it. Stuff like this doesn't just happen. There _has_ to be a reasonable explanation for it!"

Kendall shakes his head. "Face it, Logie. There is _no _reasonable explanation for this."

"Then how is this happening? Why is it happening? And how do we make it stop?"

The blonde shrugs. "I don't know. Maybe we're under some sort of magic spell."

The genius chuckles. "There's some witch watching us from her magic cauldron and laughing at our misery."

"And we've got to find her and melt her with water." Both boys laugh quietly at that. "Oh, maybe we're under some sort of "true loves first kiss spell." The blonde waggles his eyebrows exaggeratedly. The idea of being under that kind of spell doesn't freak the taller boy out as much as he thinks it probably should. But really, he's got more important things to worry about right now.

Logan shakes his head, smiling at his friend's ridiculous antics. "Yeah, that must be it. Except that that's impossible. I mean, how could we possibly be under a spell."

Kendall shrugs again. "I don't know. I'm just saying…"

He's cut off as Logan starts to sing. "_The room's hush, hush_…"

"_And now's our moment_."

"_Take in, feel it all, and hold it_." They sing together and Kendall can't believe this is happening in the library of all places.

"_Eyes on you. Eyes on me_." Both boys can feel every set of eyes on the first floor of the library watching them and Kendall really hopes that Logan has just sung the last line, because he doesn't really want a bunch of people he doesn't know, but who probably know him, to realize what's going on.

"_We're doing this right…_"

It turns out that Kendall has the honor of singing the last line today. After he finishes they both trail off into an awkward silence that is only broken by the sound of a throat clearing. They both jump at the sound and turn to see the librarian standing at the end of the table, looking rather unhappy. "You boys are going to have to keep it down. People need peace and quiet here and you can't be disrupting them with singing. Even if you are in band."

Logan's face flushes and he mumbles an apology to the older lady. Kendall brings his book back up and ducks behind it, trying to hide the growing smirk. He knows it's probably his little genius' worst nightmare to get kicked out of the library. This place is like Logan's safe haven. Always has been.

As soon as the librarian walks away, Kendall lowers his book and snickers. The brunette across from him barely even notices this, however, because he's so lost in thought.

"That was strange." He mumbles, more to himself than Kendall.

"What was?"

Logan looks up, meeting his friend's gaze. "That." He gesture's vaguely between himself and the blonde. "That's never happened before."

"Um," Kendall holds back more laughter. "I don't know where you've been, but this has been happening to us for the past six days."

The genius rolls his eyes. "I know _that_. I meant the song we were singing. It had nothing to do with what we'd been talking about."

The blonde blinks as he realizes that his friend is right. Even if he doesn't necessarily understand the exact message behind the songs they sing, they do usually at least make sense with the situation at hand. This song, though everyone had been looking at them, didn't really feel like it fit. Not the way the others had.

He smirks. "You're right. Otherwise, it probably would have been more like…_Do you believe in magic_."

Logan shakes his head, but matches his friend's grin. "_In a young boy's heart._"

"_How the music can free him whenever it starts_." They sing together. They've got an audience again, but this time Kendall doesn't mind.

"_And it's magic_."

"_If the music is groovy_." The blonde holds out a peace sign.

"_And makes you feel happy like an old time movie_."

There's silence as both boys finish singing, but at least this time it's not awkward. It's broken once again by the librarian clearing her throat, however, and when the boys turn to face her they find her arms crossed over her chest and a frown on her face.

"Out." She tells them, her tone leaving no room for argument.

They do so, not even bothering to put away the large pile of books they'd accumulated during their few hours in the building. They spill out onto the sidewalk, laughing so hard they have to stop and take a minute to compose themselves.

"I can't believe we got kicked out of the library." Kendall gasps as soon as he stops laughing long enough to form a coherent sentence.

"I can't believe I don't care that we got kicked out of the library."

"But it was so worth it!"

And Logan realizes that the blonde is right. It _was_ worth it. Because, for the first time since this whole mess started, he's not freaking out about it. He's thinking about it, he's still trying to find a way to stop it, but it feels good to be able to laugh about it. It makes it feel much less frightening that way.

"Come on, Logie. Let's go home." Kendall slings an arm around the brunette's shoulder and as much as thinks he should probably shrug it off, he doesn't.

He's really going to have to keep working at this whole "not being close to Kendall thing" though.

* * *

Here's chapter 11. Hope you guys enjoyed it. And, as always, reviews are greatly appreciated (:


	12. 13 Years Old

Here's chapter 12 guys. This was one of my favorites to write!

* * *

o*o*o*o*o  
…_For every atom  
belonging to me as good  
as belongs to you.  
_-Walt Whitman  
o*o*o*o*o

* * *

_13 Years Old_

It's the four friends' annual end of the summer sleep over and they're currently all spread out across James' living room floor, snacks and sodas surrounding them. James and Kendall are locked head to head in a rather intense game of _Mario Kart._ Carlos and Hortense had quickly grown tired of their two taller friends' competitive streak and, after nearly an hour of shouting and having controllers thrown around, the two smaller boys had left the game for other activities. Carlos is currently engrossed in one of Kendall's many _Spider-Man _comics and Hortense is nose deep in _Percy Jackson and the Titans Curse_.

It stays that way for another hour and a half before James and Kendall finally get bored with their inability to beat the other by the required two races. They shut off the video game and drag their other two friends away from their comic/book and they all dig into the chips and popcorn as they talk excitedly about the upcoming hockey season.

"And now that all of us are on the team," James tosses popcorn at Hortense who actually manages to catch it in his mouth, "we're going to be unstoppable.

"Definitely!" Carlos shoves his helmet onto his head. "No one's going to be able to take us down! Especially after all the practicing we did at the rink yesterday. It's too bad you weren't there, Hortense. We would have done even better if you'd been there too!"

The smaller brunette smiles apologetically. "Sorry guys, but my mom really wanted me to go to this company picnic with her."

"Did you have any fun?" Kendall asks.

Hortense shrugs. "Um well," He bites his lip, suddenly looking nervous. "This girl Rae kissed me."

The three other boys' jaws all hit the floor as they gap at their smart best friend. They're all (not so) secretly impressed because even James (easily the best looking of the group according to the girls) hasn't had his first kiss yet.

"Really?" Carlos asks, eyes wide as he stares at his friend.

The bookworm nods. "Yeah. She told me she liked me and then leaned in and kissed me."

Kendall's chest feels odd at the words and even though he doesn't know this girl, he instantly dislikes her. He's got no particular reason too, except for the fact that there's a pull in his chest that feels like it's making him dislike her. "Did you like it?" He asks and as soon as the words leave his lips he realizes that he's not actually sure if he wants to know.

Hortense thinks about it for a moment before shrugging. "It was okay."

"Are you going to be her boyfriend now?" The pretty boy asks.

The brunette shrugs again. "I don't know. She seems nice, I guess. But I'm not sure I want to be her boyfriend."

"Why not?" His three friends question simultaneously.

"Because I don't even know her. She seems nice. But why would I want to belong to someone that I don't even know. Besides, I still think girls are kind of weird."

James seems personally offended by this last statement. He launches into a speech, informing the smaller boy exactly how not weird girls are. Judging by the vacant look on the other boy's face, he's clearly tuning him out though. Kendall does the same as a strange sense of relief floods through him at Hortense's words. The same pull that made him immediately dislike the girl disappears and he now feels bad for judging her without even knowing her.

She just, well she needs Kendall's permission before she can kiss Hortense again. Although he's not quite sure why.

-0-

"Hortense is asleep!" Carlos whispers excitedly! "James, get the markers!"

It has been a tradition for as long as the boys can remember that the first person that fell asleep at their sleepovers was at the mercy of the other boys. Generally whatever they do is perfectly harmless. Minus the one time James was unlucky enough to fall asleep first and they cut his hair.

Hortense, because his mother doesn't generally let him eat a lot of sweets or drink a lot of soda, usually falls victim to both the sugar rush and the ensuing crash quicker than the other three boys, leaving him, more often than not, the first to fall asleep.

James runs out of the room, returning moments later with a large coffee can of markers, crayons, and sharpies. He sets it and himself down next to their sleeping friend and Kendall and Carlos both scramble to join him. Carlos immediately begins to draw a large corndog on Hortense's right arm. James is busy practicing his signature for when he becomes famous on the small boy's stomach. Kendall busies himself, drawing a hockey stick in Magic Marker on his left arm.

By the time Carlos and James have also fallen asleep, Hortense is not only sporting a hockey stick, corn dog, and James' John Hancock, but he's also got a pink nose and kitten whiskers, the Minnesota Wilds emblem, and that weird S that starts with six lines on his cheeks.

After the blonde makes sure his other two friends are fast asleep, he reaches into the coffee can and pulls out a green Sharpie. He scoots back over to where Hortense is still sound asleep, completely oblivious to the makeover he's just received. Uncapping the pen, Kendall waits with baited breath to see if anyone has noticed him. When his friends sleep on he grins and scrawls something messily across the shorter boy's forehead.

_Property of Kendall Knight_.

Because if there's one thing that Kendall knows with every fiber of his being, it's that Hortense belongs to _him_.

To be fair, he's more than aware that he belongs to Hortense too.

-0-

"KENDALL!" The blonde's head whips around in shock at the sound of his best friend's voice from half way down the hallway.

It's two days after the sleep over, the first day of school, and Kendall, James, and Carlos are all at Kendall's locker, waiting for their fourth friend to join them. Except…said fourth best friend doesn't sound exactly thrilled to see them.

Or, rather, he doesn't sound exactly thrilled to see Kendall.

As the brunette storms closer to his three friends they, and everyone else in the hallway, can see, in large green letters, _Property of Kendall Knight _on his forehead. Except, Kendall had written "property of" relatively small. So, from the distance, most people can only see _Kendall Knight_ written in large letters.

"Sharpie doesn't come off, Kendall!" The younger boy yells once he finally reaches them.

James and Carlos immediately start laughing. Hortense glares at them, but chooses to ignore them in favor of telling off the blonde.

"What were you thinking?"

Kendall shrugs, trying to act casual and to _not_ burst into laughter because that will definitely make the situation worse. "That you feel asleep first. Besides," he grins and laughter escapes him, "you said you wouldn't mind belonging to someone you knew."

Hortense blinks in shock for a few seconds before his whole face turns red. "That is not what I said!"

And then he drops his backpack and lunges at Kendall. The blonde gives a yelp of surprise and takes off down the hallway, laughing the entire way.


	13. Day 7

Here's chapter 13. Enjoy!

* * *

o*o*o*o*o  
_As it turns out, when I'm  
jealous, the only person I seem  
to make a fool of is myself  
_-unknown  
o*o*o*o*o

* * *

"Logan, can I talk to you?"

All four boys look up to find Lucy and Camille standing by their pool chairs, looking at the brains of _Big Time Rush_expectantly. The genius puts down the book he'd be reading to regard the rocker chick that has just spoken.

"Sure, okay." He stands and follows Lucy has she leads to him to the edge of the pool closest to the lobby doors.

The boys all follow them with their eyes before turning back to face the method actress, unsure of why she didn't follow the rocker and the genius. "Do you want to sit down?" James asks, gesturing to the now empty chair that Logan had just vacated.

Camille shakes her head. "No thanks. I actually need to talk to Kendall."

Said boy's eyebrows go up in surprise at this, but he shrugs and stands anyways. "Okay." He follows her to the opposite end of the pool and waits until she turns back to face him completely before speaking. "What's up?"

"I think I should be asking you the same question."

Kendall sighs. "This is about the singing isn't it?"

The actress nods. "Yeah. Logan came to my apartment and he was singing _'Til I Forget About You_ and it didn't exactly seem like he really wanted to. What's going on?"

"I have no idea." He tells her honestly. "It started a week ago and we've been singing to each other ever since. The whole thing is actually really confusing."

"Confusing?" The brunette cocks her head to the side. "How so?"

Kendall sighs again, running a hand through his hair. "The whole thing is confusing! I don't know why we're singing. I don't know why we're singing what we're singing. I don't know how I feel about the fact that I'm randomly forced to serenade my best friend. And now-on top of all of that…I don't know how I feel about Logan anymore." He flops down on one of the empty pool chairs, burying his face in his hands.

Camille takes a hesitant step towards him, gently placing her hand on his shoulder. "What do you mean?"

"I mean before he was my best friend now…"

"Now?"

"I don't know. I think it might be more than that."

Purely for the sake of helping her friend realize his quite obvious feelings (and maybe a little bit because it's true), Camille smirks and tells him, "Well I'd suggest you figure it out, because Logan has been looking really good lately." She doesn't miss the way the blonde's head snaps up and he glares at her. "I won't make a move if you like him. But if you don't…"

"_Excuse me…can I please talk to you for a minute?_"

Camille blinks in surprise as Kendall stands up, suddenly singing. She grins as she recognizes the song he's singing. "I thought we were talking. Is there something else you'd like to say?"

"_You need to give it up. I've had about enough._" Camille smirks but says nothing. "_The boy is mine!_"

And then, just because she knows the song and she knows it will egg him on, Camille starts singing too. "_I'm sorry that you seem to be confused_."

Kendall shakes his head, his eyes flashing almost like he's angry. "_He belongs to _me_. The boy is mine._"

Camille raises an eyebrow at the blonde as he finishes singing. "Are you _sure_ you're confused?" Before he can answer, however, she walks off, going back to sit with James and Carlos who torn between watching him and where Lucy and Logan seem to be having a similar conversation,

The truth is Kendall isn't sure about anything. He's definitely still confused though. Granted he's less confused-there is really only one way to interpret that little jam session-but he's still confused.

He watches Logan and Lucy, becoming even more confused as Logan quickly runs out of the pool area and back into the lobby. The blonde makes his way over to Lucy, intent on finding out what exactly happened during her discussion with the genius.

Hopefully something will come along and help him clear up this confusion, because something tells him that eventually someone is going to break. His just not sure if it will be Lucy, Logan, or himself.

-0-

"So what did you want to talk about?"

Lucy doesn't even hesitate. "Look, what's going on with you and Kendall?"

The genius blinks, a bit taken aback by her forwardness. "I wish I knew. We won't stop singing." He frowns in confusion. "But I'm sure Kendall must have told you all about that."

"He didn't. James and Carlos did though. That's not what I meant."

"Then what did you mean?"

Lucy sighs. "I mean, what's _going on_ between you and Kendall."

This time Logan gets what she means. "Nothing." He says stubbornly, crossing his arms over his chest. "There's nothing going on."

The rocker raises an eyebrow. "I don't believe that."

Logan's jaw drops in surprise. "Then why were you asking?"

"Because I wanted you to have a chance to tell me. I want things to be fair."

"What?" This is not at all what he expected the conversation to be when he'd stood up and followed Lucy a moment ago. "Listen. I _swear_ I am not trying to make a move on him." He drops his gaze to the floor, his voice sounding sad for the first time. "Kendall deserves better than me."

The rocker chick's gaze softens as she takes in the slumped figure of the boy before her. "Don't say that. You're a great person. Anyone would be lucky to have you. Even Kendall."

Logan looks up, brown meeting brown. "But I thought you liked him."

Lucy nods. "I do. But if he chooses to be with someone else it's not going to be the end of the world. There are plenty of other fish in the sea. Until he chooses someone else, I'm not going to stop pursuing him. But…if he does choose you, I'll back off and be happy for you guys. I'm hoping you'll do the same for me."

The genius opens his mouth to tell her that that's what he's been trying to do since he realized she liked Kendall, but to his horror that's not what comes out.

"_Excuse me, can I please talk to you for minute_."

Lucy watches in shock as he sings, the brunette looking more and more horrified with every word that comes out of his mouth.

"_You need to give it up. I've had about enough. It's not hard to see the boy is mine_." He can vaguely hear Kendall in the distance and knows, like every other time, that his best friend has not been spared this particular jam session either.

"_The boy is mine._"

The rocker and the bookworm just stare at each other for a few moments, both blinking and not sure what to say to one another. Logan's entire face flushes red and he manages to squeak out the words "I'm sorry" before taking off for the lobby as if his life depended on it.

Lucy's not really sure if she should follow him or not. She doesn't really feel like the conversation is exactly over, but she can also tell that whatever just happened has freaked the genius out and is clearly not what he was trying to say. Before she can decide one way or the other, however, Kendall walks over to her.

-0-

"Uh, what was that about?" He questions, pulling Lucy's attention away from the lobby where Logan had disappeared. He's not angry, just curious.

Instead of responding to his question, the rocker chick grabs his shirts and yanks him towards her, kissing him soundly. When she pulls back Kendall stares at her, green eyes wide in shock.

"I think," she tells him breathlessly, "that you need to make a decision soon. Or you're just going to hurt people." And by people the blonde knows she means herself and Logan.

Then she walks around him, back to where James, Carlos, and Camille are watching the scene with interest.

Kendall stands there, trying to collect his thoughts and figure out what the hell just happened. A tug in his chest directs his gaze to the lobby and he looks up, half expecting to see Logan standing there, watching him. There's no sign of the little genius and Kendall is actually disappointed. He brings his fingers up to touch his lips, thinking about the kiss he'd just received.

Then he searches what he can see of the lobby for his best friend one last time.

Well, at least he isn't confused any more.


	14. 14 Years Old

Here's chapter 14. This is the chapter I've been waiting -not so- patiently to upload. You finally get to learn why our dear little Logie has been fighting so hard.

Oh, really quick. I have like, well, honestly about forty or so Kogan stories on my Tumblr. Would anyone be interested in seeing them on here? They're not quite drabbles, but I don't know if most of them would be long enough to be stand alone stories. But I thought, if you guys were interested, I could just make one big story, were each chapter was different one-shot, almost drabble like thing. Some of them have more than one part or are pretty long so I'd make them their own stories but for the rest I thought I'd just put them into one story and just update it whenever I wrote a new fic on Tumblr?

What do you guys think? I won't do it unless I see that enough people are interested, becuase it's going to be very time consuming transferring them all here and I don't mind doing it, but I don't want to do all that work for no reason. So let me if you'd be interested.

Otherwise, enjoy chapter 14! (:

* * *

o*o*o*o*o  
_When you think to take determination  
of your fate into your own hands, that is  
the moment you can be crushed. Be cautious.  
_-Frank Herbert  
o*o*o*o*o

* * *

_14 Years Old_

Kendall shifts nervously in his seat and eyes the girl next to him. Her name is Beth and she's one of the most popular girls in the ninth grade. The blonde can hardly believe his luck that, when he'd asked her out (egged on by James and Carlos), she'd said yes. They met at the movie theater and he'd been even more excited when she'd agreed to go see the new _Spider-Man_ movie, because he hadn't really wanted to sit through a chick flick. They're not even halfway through the movie and things seem to be going well.

Deciding to be brave, the blonde fakes a yawn and uses the motion to casually drop his arm around his date's shoulders. Beth tenses for minute but doesn't shrug his arm off.

For a first date, things seem to be going pretty well.

Until about ten minutes later when she excuses herself to go use the restroom. Kendall doesn't think twice as she gets up and walks away, they'd split a large soda and that was gone already.

After another ten minutes, however, Kendall is beginning to suspect that she's either very sick or he's been ditched.

The blonde gets up and makes his way towards the bathrooms, half hoping for the former (and feeling very guilty about it, because that would mean something was wrong with Beth). He waits outside the girl's bathroom door for another five minutes and after watching several women walk in and out of the restroom with no sign of his date he sighs.

"Excuse me." He calls to a girl that has just left the restroom. "Was there anyone else in there?"

The girl, a red head who looks like she's much older than him, eyes him strangely. "No…" She answers before quickly walking away, throwing the blonde one last odd glance over her shoulder.

Kendall sighs, trying to ignore the hurt that's seeping through his chest. He slowly makes his way out of the movie theater, sitting on the bench that's just outside it. He blinks back tears because, really, Beth is pretty and popular, but that's about all he knows about her so she certainly isn't worth crying over. Instead he takes out his phone and proceeds to play _Angry Birds_ until his mother comes to pick him up.

That's his game plan at least. It's interrupted before he can even get the second bird out of the slingshot by his phone lighting up and his best friend's name flashing across the screen. He brightens immediately at the sight, flipping open the phone and greeting said best friend enthusiastically.

"Hiya Hor-Logan!" He's still getting used to the mandatory name change that Mrs. Diamond had imposed on the smaller brunette just a few weeks ago.

"_Hey Kendall!_"

"What's up?"

"_I don't know._" The blonde can almost hear his friend shaking his head. "_I just felt the strangest urge to call you_. _Which, now that I stop and think about it, was pretty dumb of me to do. I must be ruining your date. I'm sorry._"

Kendall laughs at his friend's rambling. "Don't be sorry. I'm pretty sure I ruined it long before you called me."

"_What? Why?_"

The blonde shrugs, forgetting for a moment that Logan can't see him. "I don't know. She got up to use the bathroom and never came back." He frowns at the memory, but tries his best to not let it get to him.

"_Aw Kendall, that sucks. I'm sorry_."

"Don't be. She wasn't all that great anyways."

"_But she's the most popular girl in ninth grade!_" Kendall can hear the disbelief in the slightly older boy's voice.

"Yeah, well that doesn't mean she's a nice person. Which clearly she isn't, otherwise she wouldn't have ditched me."

"_Still._" The blonde can hear the frown in the shorter boy's voice. "_I guess you can just call your mom and she can come get you early_."

"Nah," Kendall blushes, "I, uh, don't really want to tell her I got ditched on my first date. She'll just make a big deal out of it and I don't want that."

"_So what are you going to do?_"

The blonde shrugs again. "Just wait out here until the movie gets out. It's only supposed to be like another hour anyways. I don't mind waiting."

There's silence on the other end for a few moments then: "_But weren't you supposed to go out to dinner afterwards_?"

The taller boy curses under his breath. With everything that had happened, it had completely slipped his mind that, yes, he and Beth were supposed to get dinner at the _Friendly's_ next to the movie theater. "Uh…well…"

Logan laughs, knowing exactly what had happened. "_Just go back in a watch the rest of the movie._"

"I, uh, sort of left the movie theater completely. I'm on the bench outside now."

"_Wow…Kendall Knight skipped out on a _Spider-Man_ movie? I think I'm in shock._"

Kendall laughs. "Shut up. I was in shock! And…and traumatized." He's grasping at straws and they both know it.

"Well why don't you just go to the mall with me then?"

The blonde nearly drops his phone at the sound of the genius' voice in stereo, coming in from both the phone held to his right ear and from his left. He turns and breaks out in a grin at the sight of Logan standing there, one hand shoved casually into the pocket of his jeans and the other holding his cell phone.

"Logan!" Kendall jumps up and has to stop himself from giving the shorter boy a hug. "How did you get here?"

The brunette rolls his eyes. "My mom. I figured you weren't going to call your mom as soon as you told me you got ditched, so I told her I was meeting James and Carlos at the mall and that I'd catch a ride back with them."

Kendall's smile gets even wider. "You're the best!" He remembers the forty dollars in his wallet, just waiting to take Beth for dinner. "How does dinner and a _Jim Dandy _sound? My treat!"

Logan grins and begins walking towards the restaurant, Kendall falling into step beside him. "Sounds great."

As the walk, Kendall casually throws an arm over the smaller boy's shoulders, pulling him closer. The brunette immediately relaxes against his side.

"See?" He comments as they head over to the restaurant, "Why can't it be this easy with a girl?"

Logan rolls his eyes. "Because you don't want to kiss _me_, dummy."

And even as they laugh there's a part of Kendall that can't help but disagree.

-0-

On Monday they're walking down the hall, minding their own business while Logan goes over some equations Kendall will need to know for their math test next period, when a much larger 11th grader barrels through them.

"_Fags_!" He hisses as the two boys literally jump apart to avoid being trampled by the much larger teen.

They stare in shock after he's retreating figure. "What was that all about?" Kendall wonders, surprised at the slur.

Logan shakes his head. "I don't know. I don't even know who that _was_. I wonder why he has a problem with us?"

It's clear by the time they get to lunch what has happened. Someone, no one is sure just who, had seen Kendall and Logan on Saturday, either at _Friendly's_ or at the mall and assumed, since Kendall was supposed to be on a date, that his date was with the shorter brunette. It's not clear if most people even believe the rumor, but it's clear that they're all curious and speculating about the nature of the two boy's relationship now. Fortunately, no one else is rude to them like the 11th grader had been.

It probably wouldn't be such a big deal if Kendall hadn't just made captain of the hockey team: the first freshman to do so in years. It had made him relatively well known around the school, in all the grades.

The blonde brushes off the rumors, whispers, and obvious stares. "Don't worry about it, Logie. People are going to talk so let them. Eventually they'll get bored and find something new to gossip about." He's not particular bothered by what they're saying because he and Logan have always been close, ever since they'd met in third grade, and he doesn't particularly feel the need to let other people label what he and his best friend share.

Logan does his best to take his friend's advice, but when they get called into their hockey coach's office later that day he realizes he can't. The coach, a man about Mr. Garcia's age, shuts the door and very solemnly asks them if there's any truth to the rumors that are going around school.

Kendall shrugs and, because he loves to be a smart ass, answers with: "What if there are?"

The genius turns red and immediately begins spouting denials. Their coach seems to sense that the blonde isn't being serious, because he sighs and tells the boys in a solemn voice that they don't realize how serious the situation. That it could not only jeopardize Kendall's position as captain, but their positions on the team. Kendall opens his mouth, obviously angered by this, and ready to tell the coach exactly what he thinks, but Logan beats him too it.

"There's nothing going on coach. Kendall got stood up and I was at the mall getting a book. We ran into each other and decided to hang out and have dinner. That's all."

Their coach visibly relaxes and sends them out of his office, calling after them to remind them that they have practice after school.

Kendall storms down the hallway, moving so quickly that Logan nearly has to run to catch up with him. "Kendall wait!"

The blonde stops, turning on his heel to face the shorter brunette. "Can you believe that?" He seethes, anger practically radiating off of him. "What the hell does it even matter if I love you or not? That doesn't affect my ability to play hockey or to coach the team!"

"Let's just forget it, Kendall. It's over now." He brings his hands up and rubs the taller boy's temples in an attempt to soothe him.

It works and the blonde visibly relaxes under the gentle caress. Then, as if realizing where they are and what conversation they'd just had, Logan lets his hands drop, stuffing them in his pockets. At the loss of contact, Kendall opens his eyes. He can tell just from looking that the smaller boy feels guilty.

"Look." Kendall puts his hand on Logan's shoulder and waits for the brunette to meet his gaze. "It doesn't matter what anyone says or thinks. You're my best friend, Logie. Nothing is going to change."

Then the blonde takes off for history, one of the few class periods the friends don't share. Logan stands in the hallway, watches him go, and knows that his friend his wrong. For whatever reason, this closeness that he and Kendall share isn't looked upon favorably at the school or in the town and he knows that it will only bring Kendall trouble.

And Kendall, who has done nothing but stand up for Logan, protect him, and make him smile since the day he meet him, doesn't deserve any of that unnecessary trouble.

It doesn't matter what the blonde says. Logan knows that things are going to have to change.


	15. Day 8

Well, here's part 15. It's official. We're halfway done! Thanks for sticking with me.

* * *

o*o*o*o*o  
_Love is like energy. It can  
be neither created nor destroyed.  
It is just always there.  
_-Ian Philpot  
o*o*o*o*o

* * *

Kendall sighs, leaning his head against the back of the orange couch in apartment 2J. He knows from the various rom-coms that ex-girlfriends and his mother had made him watch, that being in love with your best friend is never easy. And that it generally takes a lot of mishaps, understanding, and some heartache before everything resolves itself. None of those rom-coms featured a guy who was in love with his best friend…who was also a guy, however.

The blonde's not entirely sure but…he thinks that complicates things a quite a bit.

After yesterday's disaster at the pool, the blonde had spent a lot of time thinking. About the songs, about Lucy, about his genius best friend. About how kissing Lucy was pleasant, but it didn't make his heart race. Even kissing Jo didn't do that. But Logan? Well the blonde has never kissed Logan but he's not even going to pretend that the thought had never crossed his mind. But the brunette boy has always been able to get his heart racing.

He'd spent most of the night lying awake, listening to the sound of Logan's even breathing, as he tried to figure out just what his heart and the music had been trying to tell him.

At about 3 a.m. Logan had moaned in his sleep, rolling over to face the blonde. And as Kendall had watched his smaller friend, face scrunching occasionally because of whatever he was dreaming about, features highlighted by the nearly full moon that was spilling in through the window, he'd done just that.

He was in love with Logan. Had been for quite a while now and had just been too blind to realize it.

After figuring that out, he knew the first thing he had to do was tell his friends and his family. His mom and Katie had taken it well. Katie, in fact, had rolled her eyes muttered a quick '_duh_' and then returned her attention to her video game. His mother had wrapped him in a warm hug and told him that, no matter, she would support him. And that she'd seen it coming for miles.

Now he just had to tell James and Carlos.

As if on cue the pretty boy and the Latino walked into the apartment, Carlos munching on a corn dog and James combing his hair. "Hey Kendall!" Carlos dropped down next to his friend on the couch. "What's up?"

"Guys…I have something to say and I'm not really sure how to say it so…"

The other two boys grow concerned at how nervous the normally confident blonde sounds. They both shift uneasily before James places a hand on Kendall's shoulder. "What's up man?"

"Well," He chews on his bottom lip for a moment, trying to figure out the best way to tell them. Finally he sighs and decides that brute honesty is probably his best option. "I'm in love Logan."

"Bitter is an appropriately named jerk."

The blonde blinks in shock at James' words. "…What?"

The pretty boy shrugs casually. "Oh. I'm sorry. I thought we were playing the "lets state the obvious" game."

Carlos snickers quietly, bring his hand up to hide his mouth a muffle the sound. Kendall rolls his eyes. "Gee, thanks guys."

The shorter boy claps his shoulder. "What James means is that we already _knew_ that. And we don't care. You've _always_ loved Logan. Nothing is going to change."

"But we'd better not walk in on you guys making out anywhere!" James cries. "I don't need to see any of my best friends making out with anyone, let alone each other."

Carlos nods. "I second that…please?"

Kendall rolls his eyes again, laughing at his friend's ridiculousness. "I don't even know I'm going to be making out with Logan. I don't know if you've noticed…but he hasn't exactly been jumping for joy at all that's been going on."

"Well…neither have you." James points out, trying to be the voice of reason.

"Besides, any idiot can see that he's in love with you too."

Kendall lips stretch out into a smile. "Yeah. I really think he might." The smile sleeps off his face. "Now I just have to figure out how to tell him. And Lucy…"

His two friends give him sympathetic looks and a pat on the shoulder. "You'll figure it out, man." Carlos tells him, always trying to be helpful.

"Yeah," James nods in agreement. "You always do."

-0-

Logan knocks on the door of apartment 3B, breathing out nervously. Lucy had always kind of intimidated him with her rocker chick ways, even if she was really very nice. He gives her a small smile and a wave when she finally answers the door, a large pair of headphones hanging around her neck.

"Hey…" She raises an eyebrow, clearly surprised to see the genius at her door.

"Hi. Listen…can we talk?"

She eyes him suspiciously for a moment before nodding and stepping aside so he can enter her tiny apartment. "What's up?" She asks as she closes the door and removes her headphones, tossing them gently onto the couch.

"Look," the genius sighs, "I just wanted to apologize for yesterday. That was really awkward." Lucy opens her mouth to reply so he rushes to finish his thought. "I just want you to know that there really isn't anything going on between me and Kendall. We can't help this whole stupid singing thing and I'm really sorry about it."

"Logan," the rocker chick places her hand on his shoulder, smiling gently, "you don't have to lie to me."

The brunette blinks in shock. "I'm _not_ lying! We really can't control the singing thing!"

Lucy shakes her head. "Not about that. About Kendall. I guess, if I'm being honest with myself, I can't say I was too surprised by it. I think maybe I've always known that you guys care about each other."

Logan frowns. "But that's why I'm trying to tell you. We don't-"

She puts her hand over his mouth, effectively silencing him. "You do. Even if you might not want to admit it, _you_ do. But I really liked Kendall so I went after him anyways."

"But-"

"It's weird though," she continues, as if she hadn't even heard the genius. "Because I've never had a problem going after what I wanted, but something always felt so…_off_ about going after Kendall. Like something didn't want me to do it."

The other boy blinks slowly at her words. "Then…why did you?"

Lucy shrugs. "Because I don't believe in things like fate or destiny. Or, rather, I should say that I believe I make my own fate. No one and nothing else can do it for me." She smiles at the boy in front of her. "So don't worry about yesterday. I kissed Kendall," Logan frowns again at her words, "But I could tell it was completely one sided. He's obviously made his choice."

"N-no. He's just-"

"Logan." Lucy puts both hands on the smaller boy's shoulders. "Yes. Go and be happy, Logan. You both deserve it. Just remember, if you're ever dumb enough to let Kendall go I'm going after him again."

She moves him gently to the door, guiding him back into the hallway. "And I promise," she tells him before he starts off to the elevators. "There are no hard feelings, okay? We're all still friends."

-0-

Logan sighs as he enters the elevator, pressing the button for the second floor. He doesn't want Lucy to give up on Kendall. Or, well he does, but he knows she can't. Because Kendall deserves someone like Lucy. Someone cool and confident. Someone he can be with without it causing problems. And if Lucy believes she can make her own fate, then Logan will too. It doesn't matter what tug he feels or what that stupid book said, he's taking matters into his own hands.

With a final nod of confirmation, Logan opens the door to apartment 2J and steps inside.

"Hey guys." He greets as he enters.

Mama Knight looks up from where she's cooking dinner and smiles. "There you are. I was about to send out a search party." She jokes.

Katie barely acknowledges him, nodding her head briefly in his direction but not looking up from her game. James, Carlos, and Kendall both look up from the couch and call out various greetings. The genius walks into the living room area, eyeing his friends, most specifically Kendall, strangely. The blonde had barely waved at him and was chewing his lip, a clear sign that he was nervous.

"Kendall?" The taller boy jerks at Logan's direct use of his name, "is everything okay?"

The other boy nods, very unconvincingly, and chews harder at his lip. It occurs to Logan as he watches the blonde's teeth, that his friend isn't just nervous. He's trying to stop himself from talking. Or, given the way that past week as been going…

"_I finally figured out, but it took a long, long time_."

…singing.

"Kendall," Logan blinks, surprised to find that he's not singing along with the blonde. "Don't…"

"_There's been times I'm so confused. But all my roads…they lead to you_." Kendall is standing, looking straight at Logan, not even embarrassed by the spontaneous jam session. His green eyes bore into the genius' brown ones and he can see everything that the blonde is singing, and more, reflected in them.

It terrifies him.

"Kendall. Stop it."

"_I just can't turn and walk away…_"

When it becomes clear after several seconds of silence that Kendall is done, Logan shakes his head. "I can." He whispers before turning on his heel and making his way towards their shared room. He doesn't miss the way his friend deflates, literally collapsing on the couch. He does his best to ignore it though.

He shuts the door, leaning against it and chewing his bottom lip. Kendall had actually picked up the habit from him after several years of friendship. He could handle his feelings for his blonde best friend as long as the other boy hadn't returned them. Or, rather, as long as Kendall hadn't been consciously aware of them. But now that he was…well it was going to be ten times harder to stay away. The genius makes his way over to his bed, flopping down face first and groaning into his pillow. Why was the universe so against him?

Or, rather, why was he so against the universe?


	16. 15 Years Old

Here's chapter 16! You're getting it early today because I work from literally open to close. You'll get 17 early too because I work all day tomorrow too.

Enjoy! (:

* * *

o*o*o*o*o  
_I cannot live without you.  
It is simply not an option.  
_-unknown  
o*o*o*o*o

* * *

_15 Years Old_

"Where is he?" Carlos and James watch as their blonde friend paces across his living room floor. "He was supposed to be here half an hour ago!"

"Dude…" Carlos pulls back the curtain covering the window and giving everyone in the room a glimpse of the piles of snow that cover every inch of the world outside. "I'm sure it's just taking them a little longer to drive."

"Yeah," James runs his lucky comb through his hair, "Logan called and told us he was almost in town. So he's probably just stuck driving really slowly."

Kendall nods. "Yeah, I guess you're right." He forces himself to sit on the couch. He's still for about ten seconds before his leg starts bouncing.

He knows that he shouldn't be this nervous. It really had only been about forty minutes since the genius had called and informed him that he and his mother were almost back in town. There's nothing for him to be so anxious about. Except there's this feeling in his gut that just won't let him relax. He's learned over the years that, when it comes to Logan, he's got a sixth sense- Carlos calls it his _Logie Sense_- and he hates to ignore it.

He's always had an issue letting the smaller boy out of his sight-something that stemmed from his years of protecting the slightly nerdy boy from bullies. So when Logan had announced that he and his mother were going out of town and that he was going to be late for their regularly scheduled sleepover, Kendall had felt slightly uneasy about the whole thing, but had been able to push it aside because Mama Mitchell was probably the one person who was _more_ protective of Logan than Kendall was.

"Kendall." The blonde is brought out of his thoughts by James' voice and the hand that the pretty boy puts on his knee to get his leg to stop bouncing. "Everything is fine. Stop being so paranoid."

-0-

"Can I be paranoid _now_?" Kendall hisses, snatching his phone off the coffee table and starting to dial the smart boy's number, too panicked to remember that Logan is number two on his speed dial –second only to his mom.

James peers out the window, looking worriedly down the street that remains empty of anything but snow. "Yes. Call Logan. Even if traffic and the weather is terrible it shouldn't be taking this long."

The blonde's already got the phone pressed to his ear. His heart nearly stops when the call goes straight to voicemail. "Something's wrong." He says, standing up and making his way to the hallway, where his boots and jacket are waiting.

James and Carlos follow him. "Dude, no." Carlos pleads. "It's freezing out. You can't just run out and try and find him. You don't even know where he is."

"That doesn't matter!" Kendall snaps. He takes a deep breath, trying to calm himself down. "Sorry. I just…I _have _to go find him. You know how it is."

Finally Carlos nods. "Fine. But James and I are coming with you."

"Maybe you should stay here." James suggests. "That way if Logan does show up we know. And if something _is_ really wrong we know we can get a hold of you so you can call your dad."

Carlos nods after a moment of silence. "Fine." He takes off his helmet and hands it to James. "But take this with you just in case."

The pretty boy smiles gratefully before putting the helmet on his head, knowing it's the shorter boy's way of being there with his friends in spirit since he can't go with them in person. The two taller boys finish donning the rest of their winter gear and make their way out into the snow.

"So where do we go?" James asks.

"The nearest highway exit." Kendall suggests. "That's the most direct route to my house from where they were coming from."

"Sounds like as a good a place as any to start."

They walk in silence; Kendall trying his best to _feel_ Logan the way he's always been able to. He tries to feel the gentle pull that always leads him to his best friend. Instead, the blonde feels nothing for a few seconds and then there's an almost violent tug in his chest. One so strong that Kendall doesn't have a choice but to follow it. He takes off running, leaving James behind calling after him.

As he runs he realizes that it feels like he's not even in control of his own legs anymore. He doesn't even know where he's going. He just knows he has to get there. After five minutes of running faster than he's ever run in his entire life, the blonde finds himself on a back road that is no where near the highway exit that he and James and been headed too.

And there, in a ditch about halfway down the unpopulated road, is Mama Mitchell's Honda.

Kendall's heart jumps to his throat when he sees it. He makes his way towards the car, his hands shaking. When he reaches it he can see Logan and his mother, eyes closed, sitting in the car. They're both shaking pretty badly. He immediately whips out his cell phone and calls James, informing the pretty boy of his location and asking him to call an ambulance and Carlos. After he hangs up he tries to size up the situation. The entire passenger side of the car is pushed against the snow bank, so getting them out that way isn't an option.

The driver's side is pretty banged up. Whatever hit them, Kendall suspects it was probably another car, hit right in just the right way that the blonde is sure he isn't getting the Mama Mitchell's door open any time soon. The door in the back, however seems to be okay. He rips it open, calling the genius' name frantically.

The shaking genius pries his eyes open and turns to face the blonde. "K-Kendall?"

Relief floods through the other boy's body. "Hey Logie. I know I'm probably not supposed to move you, but I have to get you out of here, okay?"

Logan shakes his head. "M-m-my mom. G-get her out."

"Kendall!"

The blonde turns at the sound of James' voice. The pretty boy is running up to the car, looking frantic. Kendall nearly smiles in relief. "James is here. He'll get her out. Now come on. I'm going to need you to help me as much as you can."

He crawls into the car as much as he can and does his best to hoist the smaller boy up and into the backseat as carefully as he can. Kendall catches a glimpse of Logan's cell phone, lying cracked and broken on the floor by the genius' feet. As soon as he has him out, James crawls in and begins to do the same for Logan's mother.

Kendall yanks off his coat; dropping to the ground and wrapping it around the smaller boy before pulling him close, trying to share body as much as possible. He can see James do the same for Mrs. Mitchell out the corner of his eye. He hugs the other boy close, holding him tightly against him. He can hear the sound of sirens in the distance and smiles gratefully.

"The ambulance is on its way, Logie." The taller boy mumbles into the brunette's hair. "Everything is going to be okay."

"T-t-t-thank y-y-you."

"No thanks is necessary." The blonde shakes his head and is surprised to find a few tears dripping down his chin. "You're my best friend."

The genius snuggles closer to Kendall, soaking up all his body heat.

"You're not going to leave me. I won't let you."


	17. Day 9

So it's occurred to me that I have been doing a very bad job at telling you guys what songs Kendall and Logan have been singing to one another. I'm sorry about that. In case you were wondering, here's a list:

Chapter 1: _Come Clean_ by Hilary Duff  
Chapter 3: _24 Story Love Affair_ by Faber Drive  
Chapter 5: _Curse of Curves_ by Cute is What We Aim For  
Chapter 7: _'Til I Forget About You_ by Big Time Rush (although you guys probably knew that one)  
Chapter 9: _Stuck Like Glue_ by Sugarland  
Chapter 11: _All About Us _by He is We and _Do You Believe in Magic _by The Lovin' Spoonfuls  
Chapter 13: _The Boy is Mine_ by Brandy and Monica  
Chapter 15: _All For You_ by Sister Hazel

* * *

o*o*o*o*o  
_Dreams are like stars…You may  
never touch them, but if you follow them  
they will lead you to your destiny.  
_-unknown  
o*o*o*o*o

* * *

"So you're still going to do this?"

Kendall nods, turning to face his two best friends. "Yeah. I have to. I can't let this opportunity pass me by."

James and Carlos share a look. "Listen…" The Latino starts of nervously.

"We've always known that you and Logan were close." The pretty boy picks up. "And it's no surprise to anyone who knows you that you're in love with him, neither of you are exactly subtle…"

"But Logan was _really _freaked out yesterday. And we haven't seen him at all today. Are you sure this is a good idea?"

"Yes." The blonde's tone leaves no room for argument. "I'm sure that this is what I'm supposed to do. You guys will help me won't you? I need to tell him how I feel." He's not joking either. He can't exactly explain it, but he knows that he has to tell the genius how he feels. Amidst all the chaos and confusion of the past nine days this is the one thing that makes complete and total sense. The one thing that Kendall feels absolutely sure about.

"Trust me on this guys. Please."

"Okay." The other two boys nod as Carlos speaks. "Your _Logie Sense_ has never been wrong before."

Kendall laughs. "I can't believe you guys still call it that."

James shrugs. "I don't know what else to call it. You always seem to know exactly where Logan is or when something's wrong with him. You're the only one who can find him when he's upset and doesn't want to be found. It's always been like that. It's weird."

Carlos. "And really cool!"

The blonde smiles at their words. He can feel a gentle pull in his chest, one that he often associates with Logan. But instead of urging him to go anywhere, this pull feels more like it's pulling something into place and a sense of completion sweeps through his chest briefly.

"So how are you going to do it?" James asks. "Buy him roses? Take him out for a romantic dinner under the stars? Sweep him off his feet?"

Kendall laughs again. "I don't know. I was thinking I might just stick with this whole singing thing. It seems to be working in my favor and it's what helped me realize my feelings for him in the first place."

"You really think that's such a good idea?"

"Yeah." Kendall nods. "Ever since a that day in the library a few days ago, I've felt so much better. Once I just sort of embraced what was happening, had fun with it even, I've felt so much better. I think it would be the same for Logan if we could just get him to relax." The blonde frowns. "He's fighting it so much though. I can't figure out why."

James and Carlos both shrug, neither one having the answer their friend is looking for. Before they can ask any more questions, the door opens and Katie and Mama Knight walk into the apartment with grocery bags. The three boys rush over and help carry the rest of the bags into the kitchen.

"Hey baby sister?" Kendall asks as he puts a bag down on the floor.

"Yeah?"

"You'll help me tell Logan I love him right?"

Neither Mama Knight nor the Katie bat an eye and Kendall's straightforwardness. "Sure. What do you need me to do?"

Kendall sighs, running a hand through his hair and grabbing another bag. "I don't know. I haven't quite got the whole plan figured out yet."

Katie nods. "Okay. Well just let me know big brother."

-0-

"No." Camille shakes her head.

"Aw come on!" Kendall tries to persuade her. "Please?"

The brunette sighs. "I can't, Kendall. I'm sorry."

"Why not? I thought you didn't have feelings for him anymore."

"I don't." She finally puts down her magazine and turns to look at the blonde. "But Lucy _does_ still have feelings for you. And, yes, she's happy for you and Logan, but I still can't help because Lucy is my friend and I know it's going to hurt her at least a little."

Kendall sighs. "Okay…I really am sorry about this."

Camille shrugs. "You shouldn't be. You can't help how you feel. And honestly, Lucy's my friend and I don't want to see her get hurt, but I'm surprised she couldn't see how you felt about Logan. Most everyone thought you were dating when you guys first got to the Palm Woods."

The blonde sighs again, this time as a flash of pain makes its way through his chest. "Well, Logan and I haven't exactly been that close in a long time" He frowns. "Every time I tried to be he just pulled away. Just like he's doing now."

The actress sends him a sympathetic smile and Kendall can't shake the notion that she knows more than she letting on. "Don't worry too much Kendall. Things will work out, I'm sure of it."

"Yeah." He nods, his old confidence coming back full swing. "You are absolutely right. Thanks Camille."

She nods before turning back to her magazine.

-0-

Kendall doesn't see Logan until dinner. None of them do. The genius had spent the day hiding in the library pouring over more books and rereading one book in particular from cover to cover. Everyone is talking animatedly amongst themselves, except for the genius who is eating his food quietly and hardly looking up from his plate.

"So…Logie," The blonde decides to try get his friend talking. "Did you have fun at the library?"

Logan cracks the tiniest of smiles. Everyone at the table knows that the library is probably the one place the genius couldn't _not_ have fun. "It was alright." He jokes lightly, still not meeting the other boy's eyes.

"Did you read any good books?"

"_The book of love is long and boring_."

Everyone blinks in surprise as Logan answers by singing. Well, everyone except Kendall who smirks before feeling himself start to sing as well. "_And written very long ago_."

"_It's full of flowers and heart shaped boxes_."

"_And things we're all too young to know_." They sing together.

Mama Knight, who must recognize the song, smiles gently at her sons (both biological and otherwise). James, Carlos, and Katie all smirk at one another. Kendall and Logan are too busy being wrapped up in each other and the song to notice their audience's reaction however.

"_But I, I love it when you give me things_." Kendall sings, gently reaching across the table and placing his hand on top of Logan's.

"_And you, you ought to give me wedding rings_." The brunette's eyes widen at the words that come out of his mouth. He can't do anything about it, however, because he and blonde are singing once again.

"_You ought to give me wedding rings…_"

Logan bolts as soon as they finish singing. They can all hear the door slam shut and everyone knows he's gone to hide in the room he shares with Kendall (probably not the best place to hide from the blonde in retrospect).

Kendall sighs and turns back to his dinner. "This is going to be harder than I thought."

-0-

Kendall doesn't see Logan again until he finally ventures into their room to get ready for bed. Logan is already asleep when he gets in there, or at least pretending to be asleep. Kendall sighs and climbs into his own bed. He falls asleep almost immediately.

"**Ignorance was no excuse.**" Kendall bolts up at the sound of the voice. A quick look at his surroundings confirms that he's not in his room but at the Chinese restaurant they'd visited over a week ago. "**But sheer determination may not be enough.**"

He whips his head from side to side, searching for the source of the voice. The only thing he sees, however, is Logan sitting a few tables over, starring blankly a head. "LOGAN!" He calls out, but the brunette doesn't even blink. Kendall has a strong suspicion that the other boy can't hear or see him.

"**Time to take the lead in this fateful tango. Hearing the music and feeling it **are **two different things after all.**"

-/-

"Hello?" Logan looks around, surprised to find himself in the Chinese restaurant from a few nights ago. "Kendall?" he calls when he notices his best friend sitting a few tables away. The blonde is unresponsive.

"**Eventually you're going to become so tangled that you'll have no choice but to go where it leads you.**"

"What?" Logan stops, chair half pushed back from the table. He abandons going to check on Kendall, for now, in favor of trying to find the voice that is suddenly surrounding him. "Who's there?"

"**Maybe you need some else to control your footsteps…**"

-/-

In the morning, neither boy remembers the strange voice or the dreams.

* * *

The song in this chapter is _The Book of Love_ by Peter Gabriel


	18. 16 Years Old

Here's chapter 18 (: Oh and the last part, with the moms, that's an actual head canon I have. The Big Time Moms are totally onto their sons. I am convinced that happened and no one, not even Scott Fellows himself, can convince me otherwise.

* * *

o*o*o*o*o  
_Wherever you go,  
go with all your heart.  
_-Confucius  
o*o*o*o*

* * *

_16 Years Old_

Logan sighs and throws down the book he'd been attempting to read. Unfortunately, right now not even his favorite medical book can't distract him from what's going through his mind. A few hours ago Kendall had informed Gustavo Rocque (the scariest man on the planet if you ask Logan) that he would take him up on his offer to be a star in L.A.

But only if Gustavo took his three best friends too.

Logan groans and throws an arm over his face. James and Carlos, especially James, had jumped at the chance to accompany the blonde to L.A. Logan had been less enthusiastic about the prospect. Not only because L.A. and pop stardom weren't very high up on his list of things to do and places to go, but also because Kendall going to L.A. _without_ Logan might finally put enough distance between the two boys that the brunette wouldn't have to worry about accidentally slipping up.

At fourteen he'd hardly understood why people at school and in town had hated the idea of Logan and Kendall being as close as they were. He'd simply recognized that it wasn't okay and stepped back, trying his best to ignore the sad, questioning glances the blonde had sent his way.

At sixteen he doesn't understand it any better. He understands _his _feelings much better though. And he understands that a boy who likes his best friend the way he is supposed to like all the pretty girls who giggle and pout cutely, is just going to cause them both problems. Kendall going to L.A. and Logan not going to L.A. seems like the perfect way to make sure the genius never causes the blonde any more trouble.

He's officially made up his mind about this and plans on informing his mother of his decision as soon as she gets home. She's currently at Kendall's house with the other three mothers, as they try and figure exactly how the whole thing should play out.

He pulls his legs up to his chest, hugging himself as he repeats his mantra. "I'm _not _going to L.A. I'm _not_ going to L.A. I'm _not_ going to L.A."

The problem with his decision to not go to L.A. is that it almost feels like it's causing him physical pain. Every nerve in his body and his heart are screaming at him as he tries to remind himself why he can't go to L.A. There seems to be a resistance to the very idea of him not going that's pulling in his chest so painfully that it makes him want to cry. It's all in his head, he knows, but that doesn't make it hurt any less.

Psychosomatic symptoms can be just as dehabilitating as real ones.

His phone rings suddenly, snapping him out of his thoughts. He smiles as he recognizes Kendall's ring tone and then frowns when realizes what he's going to have to do. He picks up his phone, accepting the call and pressing it to his ear.

"Hello?"

"_Hey Logie!_" Logan can hear the mile wide smile in his best friend's voice. "_All the moms are in agreement! We're going to L.A.!_"

The genius sighs. "Yeah, about that…Kendall listen. I'm not-"

"_Yes you are_." The blonde's tone is firm.

"What?" Logan blinks in shock. "No, I'm not-"

"_You have to Logie. You're not leaving me. I won't let you._" The shorter boy vaguely recalls the words from about a year ago, when he'd been wrapped in the blonde's arms, leeching heat from him like it would save his life, which-in retrospect-it probably had.

"But Kendall-"

"_Tell me_," Logan wonders briefly if he'll be able to get a full sentence out at least once during the conversation. "_Tell me that it wouldn't hurt if you stayed. Honestly tell me you don't feel like you have to go with me and you can stay. And don't even think about lying to me Hortense Mitchell_," the brunette gulps because Kendall only uses his real first name when he's deadly serious, "_because you know I can always tell when you're lying_."

Logan sighs, accepting defeat. "I can't."

"_You're coming to L.A. with me, Logan._"

"Yeah." He doesn't want to, but he can't help the smile that spreads over his face at his next words. "I am. How did you know I was going to say no?"

Kendall chuckles. "_Because you're my best friend. I know you_. _Better than anyone._"

"How did you know it was killing me to say no?"

There's silence for a few beats and when the blonde speaks next his voice is nearly a whisper.

"_Because it was killing _me_ that you might say not say yes._"

-0-

Jennifer Knight looks at the three ladies who are probably her closest friends. Joanna Mitchell, Sylvia Garcia, and Brook Diamond all sit with her in her living room discussing the future of their children. Because L.A. is completely different from Minnesota and all four moms know that. And all four moms want their children to take this opportunity, but they also want them to still be the same four boys they'd raised to be good, kind hearted people.

"Well it's clear that Jennifer is the only one who can go with them. None of us can quit our jobs on such short notice." Sylvia says. "Plus, if anyone can keep all four of them in line, it's her."

The other women nod in agreement. As much as they would like to go with their boys, Jennifer's job as a waitress is the only one that would let her leave on such short notice, with little to no warning.

"This is the best option." Joanna agrees. "We'll miss our boys but this is a once in a lifetime chance and I'm proud of Kendall for making sure they do it together."

Jennifer turns to the slightly shorter woman. "I have to admit," she smiles at the one woman who is probably her best friend, "I'm surprised you're letting Logan go. You might be the one person more protective of them then my son is."

"Maybe." All four woman chuckle because they've all witnessed Kendall's almost ridiculous protective streak when it comes to his friends, especially the smaller bookworm. "But he'll be in four sets of good hands," she says referring both to Jennifer, Kendall, and Logan's other two best friends, who she knows would never let anything happen to her son. "Besides, I can't explain it, but something in my gut is telling me that this where Logan needs to be and what he needs to be doing."

Brooke raises an eyebrow at that. "In L.A.? Being a pop star? I thought you liked that he wanted to be a doctor."

Joanna shakes her head. "I do. I meant with Kendall. Being his best friend."

Jennifer chuckles. "That's true. I don't even know what Kendall would do without Logan." She says, knowing that her son at the bottom of the steps, listening intently to every word of their conversation.

"Exactly." Joanna agrees and the four women share a knowing smile, because their children might be blind, but they most certainly are not. "And far be it from me to be the reason we have to find out."


	19. Day 10

Here's chapter nineteen! There's not a whole lot of plot in this one. It's just something I would pay money to see happen on the show. Plus, it's always super fun to embarrass Logan Mitchell. Seriously though, if this was a mini-TV series, one of those things that's only like 20-30 episodes, this would totally be the fanservice episode.

Enjoy!

* * *

o*o*o*o*o  
_The truest expression of a  
people is in its dance and in its  
music. Bodies never lie.  
_-Agnes de Mille  
o*o*o*o*o

* * *

"I think my head is going to explode if I read one more textbook!" James cries, closing the book he'd looking through.

"We've been doing this for days," Carlos adds, "I don't think the answer is in here.

Logan sighs, shutting his book as well. "I think you might be right. I've read every book in the library that might have been able to help us. But there was nothing that could explain what is making this happen."

"Have you tried focusing on the why?" Kendall asks softly.

Logan flushes red, refusing to meet the blonde's gaze. "W-why would I need to focus on that?" He asks nervously. "Clearly something is causing our subconscious to sing…"

"Songs we don't even know?" Kendall asks, sounding skeptical. "At the same time?" He reaches forward to try and grab the genius' hand. "Listen Logan…"

"You know what we should do!" Logan announces, standing up and moving away from Kendall, attempting -and failing- to make the whole thing seem natural. "We should go to the pool. We haven't done that in ages!"

"We were just down there yesterday." Carlos says, sounding confused, clearly not realizing that Logan is trying to get as far away from the topic that Kendall is about to bring up as possible. "And besides, Kendall was-"

"No, Logan's right." Kendall cuts off the Latino with a shake of his head. "We should just go to the pool."

James and Carlos shrug, shooting him questioning looks as they move towards their room to get ready. Kendall just nods and leaves to his own room, Logan following, to change. He sighs internally, not wanting to draw Logan's attention to him. He doesn't want to force Logan into listening to him, although he's not above doing it if he has too. He just wants his best friend to _want_ to listen to him. So if Logan isn't comfortable having this conversation in front of James and Carlos, Kendall will respect that.

They change in complete silence, Logan hell bent on ignoring Kendall and Kendall musing in silence about what his next move should be. He throws his shirt on his bed and frowns as he looks over at it. He woken up that morning feeling odd, like there was something he was missing, but he couldn't remember for the life of him what that something was.

Figuring it's best not to dwell on it, Kendall shrugs it off and follows Logan as he makes his way towards the pool. He's got enough to worry about right now, he doesn't need to be distracted by something that's probably just a dream he can't remember. He looks up and realizes that Logan, James, and Carlos have already made it halfway down the hall while he'd been lost in thought.

"Guys! Wait up!" He races to catch up with them, throwing an arm around Logan's shoulders. "You guys don't want to go without me? Do you?" He gives the genius a charming smile.

Logan tenses at his actions, pulling away slightly so there's a noticeable distance between himself and the blonde. But he doesn't throw the other boy's arm off his shoulders.

Kendall's smile widens and he takes this as a good sign.

-0-

"Oh," James pulls his shirt over his head and tosses it onto an empty pool chair, "Gustavo called this morning. He says we only have two more days and then you guys need to stop being "sick" or 'very bad things will happen'." James tells the other boys.

Kendall laughs. "What's he going to do? Yell at us?"

Carlos shrugs, his shirt joining James' on the chair. "Who knows? CANNON BALL!" He races into the pool, soaking several of the unlucky people who were sitting at the pool's edge and clearly not worried about what their large producer might do to them.

"Honestly," the blonde admits as James makes his way into the pool, "I'm shocked we even got the time off that we did."

Logan nods, settling down on the pool chair with a book. "Me too. He must be feeling especially generous this week."

"Hey guys!" James calls from the pool, "Come play water volleyball with us."

Kendall eyes where Logan is cracking open his latest book and grins. "No thanks," he calls to his friends, not taking his eyes off the brunette in front of him, "I think I'm going to…dance."

His eyebrows shoot up as the word leaves his mouth. That had definitely not been what he'd been planning on saying. Logan looks up from his book, eyes going wide. "Oh no…"

"_Clock strikes upon the hour…_" He finds himself moving towards his friend as he speaks, unable to control his movements.

Logan has just enough time to mutter another quick "oh no" before he's singing too. "_And when the night falls, loneliness calls._"

Kendall grabs Logan's hands, pulling the shorter boy up off the chair as they continue to sing. "_Oh I wanna dance with somebody_!"

"_I wanna feel the heat with somebody_!" The blonde sings, grabbing Logan by the hips and thrusting their pelvis together.

Logan's eyes widen even further at the action, but he can't say anything about it because they're singing again. "_With somebody who loves me._"

The blonde, still completely unable to control his actions, spins Logan, dipping him as he sings. "_I need a man who'll take a chance on a love the burns hot enough to last_."

The genius blinks up at Kendall. "_So when the night falls…_" Kendall brings him back up, spinning him again as they sing, "_My lonely heart calls._"

"_Oh I wanna dance with somebody! I wanna feel the heat with somebody!_" They sing together, the blonde behind the brunette and both of their bodies swaying to the beat of the nonexistent music. "_Oh I wanna dance with somebody!_"

They break apart, and Logan takes a few steps forward before turning back to face Kendall and looking up shyly at the blonde. "_With somebody who loves me…_" They sing quietly together, trailing off into silence afterwards.

Logan takes a few more steps backwards and both boys are painfully aware of the fact that everyone at the pool is watching them. Kendall knows he'd just promised himself he'd wait until Logan was ready to talk, but he reaches for the brunette anyways, because this is getting more complicated by the second. And they need to talk about it.

"Logan…" He starts, desperate to tell the other boy to stop running away, to stop fighting what he's feeling, what Kendall knows he's got to be feeling because he's not singing -and now dancing- alone. He wants to explain to Logan that he knows how he feels. That he understands that the whole thing is new and scary, because liking your best friend is hard enough when they're a member of the opposite sex, let alone when they're both boys.

But before he can say any of that, Logan turns an intense shade of red and runs back into the hotel lobby, leaving Kendall behind.

The blonde sighs, running his hand through his hair as James, Lucy, and Camille walk up to him.

"That…did not go well." James observes.

"Thank you Captain Obvious." Kendall glares at the other tall boy.

"Poor Logan," Lucy comments, surprising everyone. "What?" She asks at their incredulous looks. "Listen, I like Kendall and all, but it's really not the end of the world. I'm completely fine, honestly." She smiles. "Truth be told, I think the biggest reason I liked you is because you remind me of my ex-girlfriend."

"Well…" James grins, "that explains why you didn't want to go out with me. I'm just too manly for you."

Lucy rolls her eyes. "Yeah…let's go with that."

"Wait," Camille looks at the rocker confused. "Why poor Logan? Isn't it poor Kendall?"

"Well, yeah. I mean it sucks that he ran off like that," Lucy admits, "but Logan looked like a frightened little bunny rabbit. Clearly he's having a harder time accepting this than Kendall is."

"So," Carlos asks, turning from Lucy to Kendall, "what are you going to do now?"

Kendall shrugs. "I guess I'll do what I always do when I'm going after something I want." He smirks. "Go harder until I get it."

Because something like this, like Logan, is far too important to give up on.

* * *

_I Wanna Dance With Somebody_ is by Whitney Huston


	20. Still 16 Years Old

Well guys, we're officially two thirds of the way through. There's only ten chapters left after this... We're also starting to get to the point where the chapters from the past are about the boys' time in L.A. This chapter texts place directly after _Big Time Break_.

* * *

o*o*o*o*o  
_The choices you make define  
not only today, but tomorrow  
and all the days after as well_.  
-unknown  
o*o*o*o*o

* * *

_16 Years Old_

"Come on, come on." Kendall helps Logan to bed, the shorter boy still limping in high heel boots and a dress that's very nearly ripped to shreds.

Carlos is off spending more quality time with his father and James had offered to help Camille with more auditions, so both boys had left shortly after telling their respective stories to their other friends. Mama Knight had taken Katie with her to go shopping and get dinner, leaving Kendall to take care of Logan. The poor genius had managed to find himself surrounded by the toughest, most man hating group of nerd-y girls that Kendall had ever heard of.

"Thanks." Logan tells him as the blonde lowers him onto his bed. "Girls are mean."

Kendall laughs, giving his friend a cheeky smile. "Not all of them. You just seem to find yourself surrounded by a special brand of girl."

The genius mock glares at him. "Half of which comes from you deciding to do things like, oh I don't know, soak the girls field hockey team!"

The blonde's grin widens. "Whatever. You had fun." Logan nods in agreement, laughing as well. "I'll be right back with some ice, don't move okay?"

"I'm pretty sure I couldn't even if I wanted too." Logan calls after him.

He returns a few minutes later with some ice wrapped in a towel. "Here Logie." He hands the genius the towel and Logan rests in gratefully against his eye. Kendall takes a moment to take in his friend's attire, grinning. "Need some help with those hooker heels, Logie?" He tries his best not to laugh, but the sight in front of him is pretty ridiculous.

Logan chuckles too, leaning forward and attempting to get said footwear off. After a few seconds of struggling he looks up at the blonde, who is snickering quietly. "Some help would be great thanks."

Kendall nods, sitting on the bed and placing the other boy's legs across his lap. He gently pulls one boot off, wincing as Logan hisses in pain. "How do girls wear these?" The brunette asks.

"Who knows?" Kendall shrugs. "Years of practice I guess."

Logan grumbles in response as Kendall slowly starts to work the other boot off. He leans forward, massaging his poor abused calves. "At least I made a cute girl." He chuckles.

Kendall looks up from where he's got the boot half off his friend's leg, raising a questioning eyebrow. Logan catches this and laughs lightly, still massaging his leg. "Your mom informed me that I was being hit on by several guys while we were practicing my girl-ness. I didn't notice it." He shrugs, "But you're mom's a smart woman so I'll take her word for it."

The blonde inhales sharply. "It didn't bother you?"

"No. Why should it?" The genius looks up and it's then that he realizes how close their faces are.

The taller boy pulls off the other boot completely, never once breaking eye contact with Logan. He lets the boot drop to the floor and he brings his hand back to massage Logan's other calf, mimicking the genius' actions. A thick silence has settled over the boys, leaving them both unable to look away from one another. Slowly, Kendall starts leaning over the smaller boy. Logan can feel the blonde's breath hit his face and it actually hurts, how badly he wants to decrease the distance between them. He watches as Kendall licks his lips and knows the other boy feels the same way…

"Kendall?" He asks, not quite sure what's going on. Well, he knows what's going on, what he's not quite sure of is why.

"I was supposed to go the movies with Jo tonight." The blonde's not sure why he says that, considering he's very clearly about twenty seconds away from kissing his best friend.

This breaks whatever trance they seem to be in though, because Logan pulls back, eyeing Kendall worriedly. "Why aren't you?"

Kendall shrugs, eyebrow raising and tone suggesting that his answer should be obvious. "Because everyone else is gone. Someone needed to stay here and take care of you."

"I'm fine, Kendall, really." Logan says as he pulls off the dress, wincing as his body protests the motion, but hoping that Kendall doesn't catch it. "You should go out on your date. Jo's probably upset that you had to cancel."

The taller boy shakes his head, clearly catching the way Logan's wincing. "It's fine. Jo totally understands. Besides, I need to be here, taking care of you. Not off on a date." Kendall tosses him a T-shirt.

"No you don't." Logan protests.

"Yes I do." Kendall insists, moving back over to the bed. "I can _feel _it. Now come on," He climbs into bed next to Logan, curling up around the smaller boy. "You need some rest. Let's nap until Mom comes back with dinner."

Logan tries to protest, but Kendall is already half asleep, face nuzzled into Logan's hair. The genius sighs, trying not to enjoy the closeness. He knows that Kendall doesn't mean anything by it, that the blonde doesn't see anything wrong with it. It's how they'd always been, and, honestly, Logan has been doing a pretty terrible job at putting any kind of distance between them like he'd promised himself two years ago. Kendall's too alluring, too hard to stay away from.

But the brunette can still hear the sneers of their classmates; can still see the look their old hockey captain had given them when he'd thought that Kendall might have been crazy enough to take Logan on a date. And now that they're on their way to being famous all that hate is going to be amplified. As is all the trouble that it will bring Kendall.

Sighing, and attempting to keep the hurt out of his voice, Logan convinces himself that this is the right thing to do. "You need to go on that date with Jo. You like Jo."

"Mmhmm." Kendall mumbles sleepily, "But I like _you_ more."

Logan's breath catches at the blonde's words. He knows that Kendall is all but asleep, that we won't remember any of this conversation when they wake up later, but it still makes his heart flutter. "Go be happy with Jo, Kendall," the genius whispers, sure that his friend can't hear him. "You deserve to be happy with Jo."

And Logan realizes he's going to need a distraction. Something to keep his mind off the fact that the one person he's ever really liked is going to be happy with another person, and all because Logan told him to be. So he figures he should give Camille a chance. The method actress is a little crazy, but she's nice and cute and Logan is sure he could learn to like her if he gave himself the chance.

And despite how much she can sometimes scare him, Logan knows that Camille is actually the safer the choice.


	21. Day 11

So here's the next chapter. I hope you guys aren't getting bored with the chapters in the present. I know that the meat of the story is in the chapters in the past. The chapters in the present are mostly for entertainment and for Kendall to realize his feelings. I planned it that way, but I worry sometimes that you guys aren't bored with these chapters.

Enjoy!

* * *

o*o*o*o*o  
_You cannot hide from others  
those things which you  
refuse to see for yourself.  
_-unknown  
o*o*o*o*o

* * *

"Hey!" Camille turns and is surprised to find Katie running up towards her. "Where are you off to?"

Camille sighs, knowing there's little that anyone can hide from the thrifty twelve-year-old. "I'm going to talk to Logan."

"About?" The young girl raises an eyebrow, as if she already knows what the actress is going to say.

"About this whole crazy thing that's going on with him and Kendall. And I know I said I wouldn't get involved, but Lucy is actually really okay with it. And poor Logan looked so conflicted at the pool yesterday…I can't just let him sit there and panic. You know how Logan is…"

Katie nods. "I do. And I want to help you."

"You do?"

"Yeah. He's being an idiot and I want my big brother to be happy. Logan makes him happy and he would make Logan happy too if the genius would just stop being such an idiot!"

"So…we're on the same side?" Camille asks.

Katie nods again. "Yes. And I say we good cop-bad cop him. He needs some sense knocked into him."

Camille laughs, shaking her head. "I don't think all that is necessary. Logan will probably talk to me and he'll just have to talk to you too. Let's go." She smiles and the two girls make their way to the Palm Woods lobby. When they get there, there's no sign of the genius.

"Where is Logan anyways?"

Katie smacks her forehead. "Okay, now I'm the idiot. He's hiding out in the apartment since Kendall went with James and Carlos to the pool."

The actress shakes her head, laughing. "Come on. Let's go."

-0-

They find Logan sitting on the couch, surrounded by textbooks. He looks up as they burst through the door. "Hey guys…" He trails off, eyebrows rising in confusion at their serious expressions. "Is everything okay?"

"Actually," Camille sits on his left while Katie sits on his right, "That's exactly what I wanted to ask you."

"What are you guys talking about?"

"Come on Logan," Camille gives him a pointed look. "I saw you at the pool yesterday-"

"And I see you everyday." Katie interjects.

"And it really looks like you could use someone to talk to."

"Don't try and deny it." Katie gives the genius a pointed look. "You're being an idiot, so you need to talk to us so we can un-idiot you as soon as possible."

Logan sighs and turns the page of the book sitting on his lap. "There's nothing to talk about."

"Yes," Camille says as she grabs the book from him, closing it and placing it on the coffee table, "there obviously is."

"Like why Kendall's handling this whole thing rather well and you're freaking out."

The brunette sighs again. "You're not going to leave me alone until I talk are you?"

Camille shakes her head. "You know me better than that. Besides, you're my friend. I want you to be happy."

"And I want my big brother to be happy." Katie adds, before smiling briefly at the boy. "Both of them."

"Okay, fine!" Logan throws up his hand in surrender. "You know how Kendall and I have always been really close?" Both girls nod. "Well we were fourteen and Kendall was on his first date with this girl and she…she ditched him."

"No way!" Katie grins like she's just been told the numbers to next week's lottery. "Kendall got ditched!"

"Yes." And now it's the genius' turn to give her a pointed look. "And you'll never speak of this again, got it? You wanted me to talk to you guys and I will, but you aren't allowed to use what I'm telling you against Kendall."

"Alright, alright. Fine." Katie huffs and crosses her arms over chest. "Continue."

"Well, I called him and when I found out he got ditched I had my mom take me to the movie theater. We went and hung out at the mall and grabbed some dinner." Logan shifts nervously in his seat, clearly uncomfortable talking about it. "I guess someone saw us and the next week at school…well the kids weren't exactly nice about it. Even our hockey coach said if there was any truth to the rumors that it could jeopardize his position as captain."

"What?" Camille shakes her head. "People really say things like that?"

"They do in Minnesota." Logan sighs, falling back on the couch. "And then two years ago we almost kissed or something but there was so much riding on the success of the band and I knew that if we became, well, whatever we were becoming it would just cause problems for everyone. Especially Kendall."

"I think Kendall's proven that he can handle any problem." Katie says.

The genius rubs a hand over his face. "It's not just that."

"What else is there?" Camille asks, turning to face the obviously depressed boy.

"It's just…my whole life I've felt like I didn't have a choice. I was Kendall's best friend. We were…closer than kids our age normally are. And that's just how it was supposed to be. And I know Kendall felt the same. I never had a problem with it, but everyone else around us did and I didn't want Kendall to have to deal with that. I still don't."

Logan sits up again. "But every time I try to pull away it feels like something is resisting. It feels like I'm fighting something. And, honestly, that terrifies me. It's like neither of us has a choice. And I want-no- Kendall _deservers_ to have a choice."

"Oh come on," Camille places a comforting hand on the other brunette's shoulder. "I'm sure Kendall has a choice. I mean he chose to be with Jo and then he, eventually, chose to let her go."

"And now," Katie adds, "He's clearly choosing you. So what if it's fate or whatever. If it's what you both want, why are you fighting it?"

Instead of answering her question, Logan sits up, eyes wide and looking very unhappy. "_No chance, no way I won't say I'm in love_."

Katie and Camille both watch, trying not to laugh as Logan stands up, vehemently insisting, through a Disney song, that he isn't in love with Kendall. "_It's too cliché. I won't say I'm in love_."

And, like she'd done with Kendall several days ago, Camille grins and uses the music to egg him on. "_You keep on denying who you are and how you're feeling._"

Katie's eyes light up with mischief as she recognizes what the actress is doing. She giggles before joining in. "_Logie we're not buying. Hon we saw you hit the ceiling_." And just because Logan is the only who _isn't_ having fun with the whole situation, both girls stand up, moving their hips and snapping their fingers in time with the music.

"Just think about it, Logan." Camille tells him after several seconds of silence.

"Yeah." Katie adds, both girls heading for the door, clearly able to tell from Logan's mortified expression that he'd rather be alone for the time being. "Kendall loves you. And you love Kendall."

And then they're gone before Logan can protest. He sighs, falling back onto the couch and throwing an arm over his eyes.

"_At least out loud…I won't say I'm in love._"

* * *

_I Won't Say I'm in Love _belongs to Disney and the movie Hercules. Or, well whoever the people who wrote those songs for them are.


	22. 17 Years Old

Here's chapter 22. I really feel like you guys deserve a medal for sticking with me this long haha. This takes place sometime after _Big Time Single_, but before _Big Time Wedding_. Enjoy!

* * *

o*o*o*o*o  
_Truth hurts – not the  
searching after; but  
the running from.  
_-John Eyberg  
o*o*o*o*o

* * *

_17 Years Old_

The sound of a phone ringing draws Logan's attention away from the documentary he is watching on TV. At first, he's confused because 2J doesn't have an actual phone; everyone just uses their cell phones. It takes him a minute to realize that the ringing is coming from the laptop that James had left open after talking to his mother via video chat.

Pausing the video, Logan makes his way over to the TV. He jiggles the mouse, bringing the computer to life. He blinks in shock at what's starring back at him. James has obviously forgotten to log out of his video chat account and is now receiving a call. It's the person that's calling that surprises Logan.

_Jo Taylor_.

He clicks accept, waving as the blonde's face appears on the screen. "Logan?" She sounds surprised, clearly expecting James to be the one who answered.

He grins. "Yeah, sorry about that. I'm was watching a documentary and you know the guys-as soon as I said the word documentary they went running as fast as they could." He chuckles. "Did you want to talk to Kendall?"

"Yeah." Jo nods. "But I can wait. How's everything in L.A.? How's Camille?"

"Everything's good. Gustavo has us working like dogs. You know, the usual. And Camille is fine. How's New Zealand?"

"I love it." The actress admits. "I mean, I loved L.A., it was where I needed to be to become an actress. But New Zealand is a lot of country. It reminds me of North Carolina. And I get to act." She smiles brightly. "It's the best of both worlds."

Logan smiles back. "I'm glad. I'm really glad that you didn't regret your decision."

The blonde shakes her head. "Can you keep a secret Logan?"

"Um," Logan blinks in shock. Of course he can keep a secret, he's been keeping a huge secret for years. "Yeah, of course. What is it?"

"From the moment I found out that I'd gotten the part, actually probably from the moment I decided to try out for the part, I'd felt like there was this pull. I felt like something was telling me I _had _to go to New Zealand. And from the moment I lied and told Kendall that I couldn't get out of my _New Town High_ contract, that pull got worse. Like it was fighting my decision. It didn't let up until I called my agent and told her I would go."

Logan gaps open mouthed at the video of the actress. She sees this and laughs. "You think I'm crazy, don't you?"

The genius snaps his mouth shut, shaking his head vigorously. "N-no! Not at all! I think you're exactly where you're supposed to be. I've read those books and you are that character."

"Thank you." Someone, it sounds like her father, calls to Jo from off screen and she turns to face them for a moment before turning back to Logan. "I have to go, we're going out to dinner. I just wanted the chance to tell Kendall that I know we broke up and that it was painful but I know it was for the best and that no matter what it feels like now, we're both going to better off." She gives the brunette a knowing look that he refuses to analyze.

"I'm glad you think so. And Kendall is getting there. But, honestly, we just got him off the couch," She raises an eyebrow and he chuckles, "long story. And seeing you might send him back there. Please don't take it personally…"

She shakes her head, still smiling. "I don't. And I get it. It was easier for me because I really cared about Kendall, but acting is what I've wanted to do my whole life." Her dad calls to her again. "I gotta go. And thank you for not thinking I'm crazy."

The genius smiles. "I could never think you're crazy." He thinks back to when he had almost decided not to go to L.A. _Especially since I think the same kind of thing happened to me…_

They end the call and Logan returns to his documentary, hoping to get it finished before his friends return home. Unfortunately, he can't concentrate on the documentary any more, because his mind keeps wandering back to what Jo had said, about the pull that seemed to be forcing her to go to New Zealand. And about his own pull, the one that had all but refused to let him not go to L.A.

After several minutes, it becomes clear that he's not going to be able to concentrate on the documentary until he at least tries and tackles the questions on his mind. He heads back over to the laptop, bringing it to life and quickly going to Google. For a lack of a better reference point, Logan types in the words fate and pull and sees where that takes him.

The first thing that looks even remotely promising is a web page for an anime that centers around the legend of the Red String of Fate.

When nothing else looks any better, Logan changes tactics and searches for the red string of fate in Google, hoping that maybe, at the very least, that will lead him to something else. He vaguely recalls learning about the legend years ago. He's not really into mythology, however, so he'd dismissed the whole thing, and can barely remember what he's read about it.

He learns, or relearns, that it's an Asian legend, similar to the Western idea of soul mates. "An invisible thread, also known as the red thread of fate." He reads, "It is said to be tied to the pinkies of two people who are destined to be together. It crosses space and time and unites lovers no matter the obstacle."

He scoffs. "Yeah. Right."

But there's a twinge in his chest a -he can't believe he's even thinking this- a pull that disagrees with his initial rejection of the theory.

"It can't be true." He whispers, but even as he does so, he goes onto the L.A. Libraries website and finds one of the books that the website had recommended. _This is crazy!_

His brought out of his musings by the door opening and Kendall, James, and Carlos poking their heads into the room. "Is it over?" Carlos asks.

"Huh? Oh," Logan laughs lightly as he realizes what his friend is referring to. "Yeah, I'm done for now."

"Great!" His three friends make their way into the apartment and Kendall immediately turns to Logan. "Want to go to the hockey rink with me, Logie?"

Logan shakes his head, despite the fact that some one-on-one time with the blonde sounds like exactly what he'd like. "Can't. I, uh, I have go to the library."

He makes his way out of the apartment and doesn't miss the way Kendall's face falls as the genius refuses, yet again to hang out. He makes his way to elevator and tries to ignore the pull in his chest to go back to the apartment, back to Kendall.

He decides to actually head to the library and check out that book on the red thread of fate. He's going to read it cover to cover.

Just in case.


	23. Day 12

Okay so this chapter is kind of short, but I promise the next chapter in the present will more than make up for it.

I give you chapter 23. Enjoy!

* * *

o*o*o*o*o  
_The art of love…  
is largely the  
art of persistence.  
_-Albert Ellis  
o*o*o*o*o

* * *

"Okay, is anyone else getting a little tired of all this?" James asks. He, Camille, Carlos, and Katie are all in the Palm Woods Park, sipping smoothies. "It was amusing and all, but now I just really want them to get together and put an end to this signing thing."

Camille raises an eyebrow. "You think if they get together the singing will just stop?"

The pretty boy shrugs. "Maybe? I don't really know. But Kendall keeps insisting that the singing thing is what made him realize his feelings for Logan and, frankly, I'm willing to try anything to make it stop. They could at least sing songs that we know!"

Katie grins. "Well Logan was singing a song from a Disney movie yesterday. I'm sure you guys all know that."

"Yeah, that was really weird though." Camille nods. "I mean, I thought they could only sing if they were together."

"No." Carlos shakes his head. "Kendall sang _Til I Forget About You_ that one time that Logan left the apartment."

"That's right!" Camille slaps her forehead lightly, "I totally forgot I heard Logan singing that too."

"And Kendall was singing some song I've never heard before the day after all this stuff started. We were down by the pool but Logan was in the apartment."

"Logan was singing that song too though." Katie adds. "Or he was singing some kind of song at least and looking down at the pool."

"Was it something about a love affair?" Carlos asks.

Katie nods. "That's the one. I'm guessing Kendall was singing the same song."

"So they _always_ sing the same song?" Camille asks. "Even when they aren't together."

"Yes…wait, no." James turns to face the actress. "You said Logan was singing a Disney song yesterday?"

Camille nods. "Yeah. From Hercules."

"Because Kendall started singing yesterday while we were at the pool. But it was the Rick Astley song, _Never Gonna Give You Up_."

Katie and Camille both stifle giggles as they imagine the blonde bursting out into that particular song. "Well, I guess it would make sense that they're singing different things now. You know, if James' theory about why they're singing is correct. They're at different points now. Kendall's accepted it. Logan hasn't."

"Logan's an idiot." Katie scoffs, rolling her eyes.

"They're both idiots." James corrects. "I mean, honestly, are any of us even surprised to find out that Kendall and Logan like each other?"

"When you guys first came to the Palm Woods, I thought they were dating. I remember being really glad when I realized they weren't." Camille admits, laughing slightly.

"I kind of suspected it," Carlos admits. "But it wasn't until Kendall nearly fought Mercedes when she tried to date Logan that I knew for sure."

"Mom would always make me go wake them up when Logan slept over," Katie tells them. "And every time they'd be curled up together in Kendall's bed, even though there were blankets on the floor where Logan was supposed to be sleeping."

James nods. "I don't really know when I realized it," the pretty boy admits. "One day I just caught them smiling at each other and I realized it was different-that it had always been different-than they way they are with anyone else."

"I don't understand why Logan is fighting this." Carlos says sadly.

"Guys…" Camille starts, but she's cut off by a shout from a very familiar voice.

"Logan!"

Kendall and Logan come walking into view. Or, rather, Logan is moving quickly and Kendall is trying to catch up with him.

"You can't keep running from this-from _me_!" The blonde cries out.

"I can try!" Logan calls back, not slowing down his pace.

"Yeah, you can." Kendall finally manages to snag the smaller boy's arm, finally getting him to stop. "But we both know I'm faster than you. So keep running as long as you want, Logie. But I've finally figured out how I feel about you and I'm _never_ going to stop chasing you."

"Kendall you don't know what you're talking about."

"Yes I do!" Kendall huffs, clearly annoyed with how stubborn the genius is being. His face almost immediately softens though. "Look, I know this is partially my fault because it took me forever to figure out how I feel and I'm sorry about that. _Who was I to make you wait? I'd give it all, I'd give for us. Give anything_," he fixes the genius with a serious expression as he sings the next line, grabbing the smaller boy by the hips and pulling him closer, "_But I won't give up._"

"Tell me." The blonde says, surprised to find that he can speak normally. "Tell me honestly that you don't feel this too."

Logan looks up at Kendall, his eyes sad. "What do you want me to say?"

"Say what you really, Logie. That's all I'm asking."

The brunette sighs. "_I love you. I have loved you all along. And I miss you._"

"_Been far away for far too long_." They sing together.

"Stop being so far away Logan." Kendall pleads, pressing his forehead against the shorter boy's. "Please."

Logan sighs, his eyes sliding shut and Kendall can tell that the brunette is close to giving in. "Fine." He says eventually. "But only for one day."

Kendall smiles, pulling the smaller boy into a hug and burying his face into his hair. "I promise," he whispers softly, knowing Logan can hear him. "I'm going to change you're mind. This isn't just for one day. This is a forever kind of thing."

"How do you know?" The genius asks.

There's a tug in Kendall's chest and his smile widens. "I can feel it."

* * *

_Far Away_ belongs to Nickelback


	24. Still 17 Years Old

Here's the next chapter! And I want to say thank you to all of you who are respecting my decision. And to those of you who are sad to see me go, I'm sorry.

But here's chapter 24 (: I hope you guys enjoy it.

* * *

o*o*o*o*o  
_Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow.  
Don't walk behind me; I may not lead.  
Just walk beside me and be my friend.  
_-Albert Camus  
o*o*o*o*o

* * *

_17 Years Old_

Kendall sighs, flipping listlessly through the many TV channels as he tries to distract himself. He's tried, yet again, to get Logan to hang out with him. And, yet again, the genius has declined. This time he'd bowed out from going to see a movie because he had a book to read. A book! Kendall knows that his brunette best friend likes to read, but he's never found reading more important than spending time with his friends, especially Kendall. In fact, for the longest time, reading was something they would do together (that was before Logan got interested in books about medicine and physics and Stephen Hawking though).

He hates that Logan is pulling away from him. He wants to fix it, because the bookworm is the best friend he's ever had, but he just doesn't know how. How is he supposed to fix it when he doesn't even know what he's done wrong? He's not even sure _if_ he's done something wrong, because, when the four of the hang out together, Logan acts like nothing has changed. Like they're still best friends.

It's just when Kendall wants to spend some time with just the genius that it becomes obvious how different things really are.

And the blonde can't shake the feeling that something is missing. That he _has_ to fix this. He can't not have Logan in his life. He's always known that, especially since the winter when they were fifteen and he'd nearly lost the brunette to hypothermia. He can't exactly explain it, but not having Logan in his life is simply not an option.

With another sigh, Kendall gets up from the couch and turns the TV off. Clearly, this whole thing isn't okay and he's going to fix it. Right now.

He makes his way to the bedroom he shares with Logan, knowing that that's where the other boy had retreated to read his newest book. When he opens the door he finds Logan sitting on his bed, book open on his lap, but he's eyes aren't moving, so Kendall doubts he's actually reading. This just confuses him more.

"What's your deal?" He asks, not bothering to beat around the bush.

Logan looks up, blinking in surprise at the other boy. "What?"

"You. You've been refusing to hang out with me since…" he trails off, trying to figure out exactly when this whole thing started, "well, for a while now. You blew me off _again_ today to read a book, which you aren't even reading!"

Logan eyes narrow, knowing that if he wants to push Kendall away he's going to have to pull out the big guns. Even if he doesn't really mean it. "Yeah. Well you weren't exactly looking to spend that much time with me when Jo was here. I know it's not a girl," he lifts up his book, "but maybe I'd rather spend my time with _it_ than with _you_. If you're allowed to do that then so am I!"

Kendall blinks in shock, a little confused, but still angry at the tone of the other boy's voice. "Huh? What the hell does that even mean?"

"I'm not going to be a replacement for Jo!" Logan snaps, shutting his book for emphasis.

"I'm not asking you to be!" Kendall cries out in desperation. He's not sure where Logan got this idea from, but he needs to make sure the bookworm understands that it's not true at all.

"I just want you to be Logan. And I'll be Kendall. And I just want us to go back to being…" He pauses, searching for the right word. "Kogan." He finishes.

Logan visibly deflates, all the anger escaping him like air from a balloon. Kendall's anger goes with it because if the brunette thinks he's just a replacement for Jo, then Kendall hasn't been doing a very good at being his best friend.

"Listen," he walks forwards, dropping down beside Logan on the bed, "I'm sorry if I _ever _made you feel like I just wanted to hang out with you again because Jo's gone. You're my best friend, Logie. No matter who or what happens in my life, I'm always going to want you to be around."

"Do you ever think maybe it's not okay that we're so close?" Logan asks, finally voicing what's been on his mind since they were fourteen. "I mean…we're not this close with James and Carlos and the four of us are supposed to _all_ be best friends. Totally equal as far as who likes who and how much. But," The genius bites his lip, clearly nervous about what he's going to say next, "I'd be lying if I said you weren't my best friend. In a way that neither James or Carlos are or ever were."

Kendall tries to shrug nonchalantly and keep the happy smile off of his face. "Why is that a big deal?" He loses the struggle and his whole face lights up as he grins at the genius. "Especially since I feel the same way?"

"Kendall…"

"And I just really hate that it feels like I'm loosing my best friend. And I'm going to do whatever I have to to fix this. I swear."

Logan sighs, finally seeing exactly how much this is hurting the blonde. He feels the tug in chest and knows he's not going to be able to ignore it. He's going to have to at least make it a little better. Because the whole point of pulling away from Kendall was to not cause the blonde any trouble. And clearly, he's pulled away too much, which is just causing the blonde more trouble.

"You don't have to worry, Kendall." He's able to give the blonde a reassuring smile because he believes his next words wholeheartedly. "You aren't ever going to lose me. I promise."

The taller boy immediately brightens up at the genius' words. He reaches forward, pulling Logan into a hug and pulling the two of them down to lie on the bed. "So," he asks, ruffling his hand in Logan's hair, "what's been happening in my best friend's life."

And they stay like that, legs tangled together and laughing and joking until Logan notices that Kendall's breathing has evened out and that the taller boy is fast asleep. Logan smiles affectionately at the blonde. He knows he's going to keep maintaining his distance from Kendall. But maybe it doesn't have to be as bad as before. At least until Kendall finds someone else to be with.

He allows himself this one last nap though, wrapped safely in the taller boy's arms. He knows he's said things like that before. And he's sure he's going to slip up again. But he can't help it. Kendall is his best friend and he loves him.

Even if he shouldn't.


	25. Day 13

So sorry for not uploading yesterday guys. I wish I had some awesome excuse, but the truth is that my friend has been here since 7 am yesterday and I just totally and completely forgot. Hopefully, this chapter will be worth the wait though.

Anyways, I'm done talking so enjoy this chapter! (:

* * *

o*o*o*o*o  
_One day isn't enough to get  
done all that you must-but it's  
a pretty good place to start  
_-unknown  
o*o*o*o*o

* * *

"Come on Gustavo!" Kendall pleads into the phone. "One more day off isn't going to kill us."

"NO!" The blonde winces and pulls the phone away from his ear as the producer yells loud enough to be heard clearly throughout the apartment. "You've had nearly _two_ weeks off! That's enough! I don't care if you and Logan are still sick, you need to get down here and get some things done!"

"But I've got something really important to do!"

"Then do it _after_ you've come and worked on harmonies!"

The phone goes silent, the producer having hung up on him, and Kendall sighs. "Well that went well."

"Couldn't get the day off?" James asks, walking into the kitchen and grabbing a juice box.

"No." Kendall frowns. "This is my one chance to try and show Logan that he doesn't need to run away from all this "him and me" stuff. How am I supposed to do that if we're going to be stuck at the studio all day?"

The pretty boy shrugs. "I'm sure you'll think of something."

"Something that's not going to get us killed, hopefully."

Both boys turn as a new voice enters the fray and find Logan walking out of the bathroom, freshly showered with only a towel hanging dangerously low on his hips. He makes a spectacle of hiding behind James and peeking over the taller boy's shoulder at the otherwise empty apartment. "You're mom and Katie aren't around are they?"

The towel slips a little lower with his movements and Kendall licks his lips, not so subtly giving his best friend the once over.

"You're all good, buddy." James chuckles. "They went out shopping."

The genius lets out an exaggerated sigh of relief. "That's good. At least the one day I _forget_ my clothes," he turns and gives Kendall a wink as he says this, "the only girls in the house aren't around to be scarred for life."

And with the reassurance that Mama Knight and Katie are absent, the bookworm continues on his journey to the bedroom, leaving Kendall and James alone again.

"You know," James says with a smirk, "I don't think he forgot anything."

Kendall grins, eyes still lingering on where Logan had been a few moments before. "I don't think so either, James."

-0-

"Okay!" Gustavo cries, as the boys finish recording their newest song. "That wasn't terrible. In fact, it was pretty good."

All four boys grin at the praise and Kendall puts an arm around Logan, pulling the smaller boy close. The brunette beams up at him before quickly turning his smile to Gustavo who is still talking.

"Since you went the whole morning without making me want to kill you," He grins, "go spend the rest of the afternoon enjoying yourselves."

"Seriously?" Carlos asks, his eyes lighting up.

"Yes, seriously. I've got to do some editing work on the song and you dogs will be more of a distraction than a help. So go."

The four boys cheer and race out of Rocque Records. It's rare they get an afternoon off; even more so considering it's the first time they've been back in the studio in thirteen days. But Kendall's not going to question his good fortune. He just grabs Logan's hand and drags him towards the Big Time Rush Mobile.

"Would you guys mind taking a cab home," The blonde pleads, clasping his hands together as he regards James and Carlos.

The other two boys laugh, not used to seeing their leader beg for anything. "Sure." Carlos smiles. "You guys go have fun."

"And be ready for an epic _Battle Blast_ marathon when you get home!" James calls cheerily as he and Carlos make their way to the street to catch a cab.

As soon as they're out of sight, the blonde turns to Logan smiling widely. "Ready?"

Logan nods, grinning and moving towards the driver's seat, even though all four boys have their license, he's usually the one that drives because he's the least likely to get them killed. "Not today, Logie." Kendall pulls the genius back around to the passenger side, opening the door for him and everything. "I'm driving today."

"Why?" The brunette questions, "Is what we're doing supposed to be a surprise?"

The blonde shakes his head. "Nope." He gets into the car and starts it, pulling out into the L.A. traffic. "We're going to the boardwalk. But today, I'm taking _you_ out. So I'll be driving you. It's the gentlemanly thing to do."

Logan laughs and Kendall smiles at the sound. "Fair enough."

"So are you ready for what might possibly be the greatest day of your life." The genius just laughs again. "I'm serious!" The blonde insists. "I'm going to give you such an amazing day out that you'll have no choice but to recognize that one day isn't enough."

The genius falls silent at that and Kendall takes a moment to glance over at his best friend. His brows are furrowed and he's got his thinking face on so Kendall reaches over and grabs his hand, intertwining their fingers. "Hey, no thinking okay? Today is about _feeling_. And the last thing I need is you over thinking your feelings."

Logan scoffs, looking mildly insulted. "I don't do that!"

Kendall gives him a pointed look and he grins. "Okay, okay. No thinking. Just feeling."

-0-

They spend the day on the Boardwalk, getting lunch, watching all the tourists, holding hands and just generally enjoying one another's company. It amazes Kendall, how easy it is for he and brunette to transition from best friends to something more. He thinks about Logan winking at him earlier and can't figure out why the other boy was so scared of this. It seems like, now that he's embracing it, he's never been more confident.

They play videogames with James and Carlos until it's time for bed and the entire time they do, Logan keeps shoot him flirty looks, sufficiently distracting him from the game. That may have been mostly a ploy so that the genius could win a few rounds though. But when they finally get ready for bed, when Kendall collapses in his bed and Logan climbs in next to him…

Well there's no other reason for the brunette to do that other than he wants too.

Which thrills Kendall.

"You know," The shorter boy says as Kendall wraps his arms around him, pulling him close, "we haven't sung all day."

"Duh." Kendall rolls his eyes playfully. "That's because we were too busy having the greatest day ever."

Logan chuckles, giving the blonde a dimply smile. "I guess that must be it."

The taller boy grins and he knows that, finally, it's the right time to talk to Logan. Kendall's got –his eyes slide over to the clock- two hours before today is officially up and there are things he needs to tell Logan, things that the brunette needs to understand. Like why it always seemed to hurt so badly whenever the other boy tried to pull away or why he's always felt this need to have Logan in his life.

"Hey Logie?"

"_Maybe this could be the line that starts the whole story_…"

Kendall blinks in surprise because he honestly had not expected Logan to start singing. And of course, if Logan is singing…

"_I know that I should wait._"

"_But what if you're my soul mate?_"

And then Kendall's face is inching closer to Logan's. Time seems to stop as he gets closer to the smaller boy. They aren't singing anymore, but Kendall is moving at what feels like an agonizing slow pace and he can't figure out why. This is all he's wanted for six days and he can't bring himself to finally do it.

It isn't until Logan leans forward, closing the distance between them and capturing Kendall's lips with his, that the blonde realizes he was just waiting for Logan to make the final move.

Was just waiting to make sure that the brunette felt the same way –wanted this as badly- as Kendall did.

And the pull in Kendall's chest, the one he's always associated with Logan, stops. It's still there; the blonde has a sneaking suspicion it will _always_ be there. But for the first time it's not tugging at him, not urging him to go somewhere or do something. It just exists, making Kendall feel like he's connected to Logan in a way that's bigger than anything he's ever felt before.

And he can see it in the genius' eyes when they break apart. Logan feels it too.

* * *

Of course, I think you all know who the song in this chapter belongs to (:


	26. 17 Again

I'm so sorry this is up so late. I left to go visit family at 5 am this morning, didn't get here until four and then we went out to dinner and I just got back. But I've finally got a second to do upload it so I came here straight away!

* * *

o*o*o*o*o  
_Secrets are things we give  
to others to keep for us.  
_-Elbert Hubbard  
o*o*o*o*o

* * *

_17 Years Old_

Things are getting better, Logan thinks. He's managing to keep a safe distance from Kendall without almost completely cutting the blonde out of his life. He can tell from the lingering glances the taller boy sends his way that he wants that closeness they used to have. Still wants that touchy feely relationship they'd had in Minnesota. That they'd had up until Kendall had started dating Jo, really. He's sure the blonde doesn't understand _why_ they can't have it.

But he doesn't say anything about it to Logan, for which the genius is grateful. He's not sure he could deny the blonde anything if Kendall asked for it outright.

The genius even does a good job at hiding how relieved he is when Kendall initially expresses no interest in Lucy when she first arrives at the Palm Woods. Because he's not supposed to be relieved. Because, as Kendall's _friend_ it shouldn't matter to him _who_ Kendall dates, as long as the blonde is happy.

They're singing _All Over Again_ out by the Palm Woods pool, practice for their upcoming world tour. Camille uses her hands to make a heart and Logan, completely in "concert mode" does what he would normally do and smiles and winks back at her, not even realizing that Camille is _not _a random fan he'll never see again.

He doesn't miss the way the curly haired Jennifer waves at Carlos. And he definitely doesn't miss the way Lucy winks at Kendall. He doesn't miss Kendall's semi-pleased reaction to her wink either. And he tries to not be upset by. Tries to be excited about it. And it only half works.

He's only half able to school his face into a neutral expression when the rocker chick gives the blonde a congratulatory hug after they're done singing.

"That was awesome, guys!" She congratulates and even though she's talking to all of them, she's only smiling at Kendall.

It's takes a little while after that because everyone in the Palm Woods is busy congratulating them, but eventually it's just Kendall, Logan, James, Carlos, Camille, and Lucy. The rocker chick smiles at Kendall again. "So I've got that new _Zombie Slashers_ film in my room. We should watch it."

And even though she doesn't say that she's just talking to Kendall, everyone knows that she is.

"Ah, no thanks." Kendall smiles, "I mean, I would. But we all just got over a really huge fight and I kind of just want to spend some time with Logan…and James and Carlos." He adds, but Logan can tell that their other two friends were added as an after thought.

"Go ahead." Logan moves to stand next to Camille. "I'm going to grab something to eat with Camille." He needs to apologize for winking at her, because he's not interested in getting back together and he doesn't want her to think that he is. That's not fair to her.

"Oh okay…" Kendall's face falls for a fraction of a second and Logan's pretty sure he's the only one who catches it before the blonde turns to face Lucy with a (slightly forced) smile. "_Zombie Slashers _sounds great. James, Carlos," he turns to face his other two friends. "You in?"

Logan mentally face palms. So maybe _one person_ doesn't realize Lucy was just talking to Kendall.

Before they can point this out to the blonde, Lucy smiles and turns towards them as well. "Yeah, come on guys. It's rated R for gore and blood…" She says in a singsong voice.

And that's when James and Carlos crack. "Okay!" The Latino cries, shoving his helmet onto his head. "Let's go!"

-0-

Camille and Logan don't talk much until the get to the restaurant. In fact, it's not until they're seated and their salads have been brought out to them that the silence is broken.

"So…" Camille asks, taking a small bite of her salad, "what's going on between you and Kendall?"

Logan nearly chokes on his glass of water. "W-hat? What are you talking about? There's nothing going on between Kendall and I."

The actress raises an eyebrow and gives him a smirk that clearly says she doesn't believe him. "Oh please. Logan I saw the way he looked after you said you weren't going to hang out with him. And I heard how he just wanted to hang out with you and added James and Carlos in at the last minute. Seriously," her face becomes concerned. "What's going on?"

"N-Nothing."

"You like Kendall, don't you?" The genius opens his mouth to deny this but she cuts him off. "Don't lie to me, Logan Mitchell."

He sighs. "Yes. Okay? I do."

Camille nods and the genius is relieved that she doesn't look particularly upset by the news. "I'm not surprised." This surprises Logan though and he's sure she can see said surprise written across his face. "Logan…I don't know if you realize this, but just about everyone at the Palm Woods thought you and Kendall were dating when you first moved to L.A. I think people were more surprised to find out that you _weren't_."

Logan groans at this news, letting his head fall to the table. "No. No. No!"

"What? What's wrong with liking Kendall?"

"Everything's wrong with it! For other people!" Logan cries, lifting his head and gesturing wildly. "Kendall is straight and he deserves to be with a nice girl. Not me."

The actress smiles sadly at him. "Do you have any idea what you look like when you say that?"

"What?"

"You look like your whole world is falling apart. It's okay if you're in love with Kendall."

"No," Logan insists. "It isn't." But he can feel a very insistent tug in his chest as he says these words.

"…Do you know why I kissed James?"

The genius is caught of guard by the question but he shrugs. "Because you got caught up in the acting and didn't want to say the word bomb?"

Camille shakes her head, smiling and laughing lightly. "Well, yes, that's the surface reason. But it's also because I felt compelled too. I wasn't into James at that point in time and-"

"_Wasn't_?" Logan interrupts, smirking slightly.

"Honestly," Camille shrugs, "I'm not entirely sure how I feel about him now. But back then I knew I wasn't interested in him. But I think that's what was meant to happen. After trying this whole on-again, off-again thing, it's obvious you and I aren't meant to be together. And that you were meant to be a good friend." She reaches over the table and gives Logan's hand a squeeze.

"Thanks Camille." He smiles gratefully at the actress. "It's going to be really nice having you as a friend."

"And listen, if there's anything you need, just let me know. I know this is probably hard for you and I want to help."

"Do you think, maybe, it would be okay if I just came and talked to you when things got to be too much?"

Camille smiles. "Of course, Logan. My door is open any time. And, if it helps, we can let people keep thinking we're still doing the on-again, off-again thing. At least for a while. But really, you should try just telling Kendall how you feel."

Logan shakes his head and sighs. "I can't Camille. It's just too…complicated."


	27. Day 14

Okay...so here's well this is the climax of the story. It's all been leading up to this. And well, if you're like the people on the other site I'm posting this one (they're a couple chapters a head), you are going to hate me at the end of this chapter. So this is just a friendly reminder that the story is not over. There's still three chapters left. And if any of you kill me, you'll never find out what happens...

* * *

o*o*o*o*o  
_Sometimes fate is like a small sandstorm  
that keeps changing directions. You change  
direction but the sandstorm chases you.  
You turn again, but the storm adjusts. Over  
and over you play this out, like some ominous  
dance with death just before dawn.  
_-Haruki Murakami  
o*o*o*o*o

* * *

Kendall wakes up to the sound of his alarm going off. He groans and rolls over, grabbing the offending phone and silencing it. "Sorry, Logie." He mumbles sleepily, turning over to where the brunette had fallen asleep last night. "But I guess it's time we-"

He stops short as he realizes that the bed is empty.

With a sinking heart, Kendall climbs out of bed. He makes his way into the living room to find Logan already showered, dressed, and eating breakfast. He looks up at Kendall when the blonde makes his way over. "Morning."

"Logan why are you-"

"We need to be at the studio. You should get ready." Is all he says before he turns back to his breakfast.

Kendall sighs and lets it drop for the moment. He gets ready and the boys make their way over to Rocque Records. The tension between Kendall and Logan is palpable and it's making everyone uncomfortable. As they wait for Gustavo, the blonde turns to the shorter boy.

"Logan we need to talk."

"There's nothing to talk about Kendall." The genius says with a sigh. "Yesterday is over. That's the end of it."

"No, it's not!" The taller boy nearly growls, finally reaching his breaking point. "Just stop it, Logan. Stop ignoring this! I would have kept fighting for you no matter what, but after yesterday I'm _especially_ not letting you go. It's the first time everything has just felt _right_. And I _know_ you felt it too. So don't even try and tell me you didn't."

"Just stop it, Kendall." The brunette mimics.

"No." This time the blonde does growl out the word. "_I will be brave. I will not let anything take away what's standing in front of me_." He turns to face Logan, grabbing the smaller boy's hips and holding him in place as he sings.

"_I have died everyday waiting for you_." Logan sings, arms moving involuntarily to wrap around Kendall's neck as the blonde's slid around his waist.

"_Darling don't be afraid. I have loved you_…" Kendall sings and from the corner of his eye he can see James and Carlos watching with fascinated expressions.

Logan bites his lip, looking up at Kendall like this all brand new and not something that's been happening to them for two weeks. "_For a thousand years." _

"_I'll love you for a thousand more_." They sing together and, arms still wrapped around his friend's waist, Kendall dips the shorter boy, face leaning in dangerously close to Logan's.

"Logie…" Kendall breaths, almost scared of breaking the silence, lest it send the other boy running, but he's not going to miss another opportunity.

"WHAT. IS. GOING. ON!" The four boys all turn to see Gustavo standing before them, hands in the air in clear exasperation.

They all exchange nervous glances, Logan a little awkwardly from his position in Kendall's arms. They are all at a loss for words. Considering none of them are actually sure what's going on, they don't really know what to tell him. A voice from behind them spares them the pain of having to actually answer the larger man's question, however.

"I believe I can answer that."

The four boys, Logan finally managing to untangle himself from the taller blonde, turn to see the petite Chinese lady from the restaurant they had visited…exactly two weeks ago.

"You!" They all cry in unison.

She smiles at them, and James and Carlos recognize it as the same cryptic smile she'd given them when she handed them their fortune cookies. "It's nice to see you too, boys."

Gustavo pushes through the boys, coming to tower over the much smaller woman. "You can explain …this?" He gestures vaguely at Logan and Kendall, both of whom have the sense to narrow their eyes and look vaguely offended at his tone.

The elderly woman simply nods, clearly not daunted by Gustavo's towering frame or less than friendly tone. "This," she gestures to the two boys as well, "is what happens when two people are connected."

Gustavo lets his mouth drop in confusion. "Huh?"

She sighs. "The red thread. When it connects two people and one of them tries to fight it," here she turns and shoots a pointed look at Logan, who shifts uncomfortably under her gaze, "well, things like this can happen, especially after a visit to 天意注定."

Logan's eyes widen as the words leave her lips and he recalls the small handwritten sign that hung under the restaurant's much larger, much more impressive, traditional Chinese one. _As Fate Would Have It_ "The red thread of fate?"

Everyone turns to look at the genius before he even realizes that he's spoken. The elderly woman seems unsurprised by Logan's apparent knowledge, choosing to simply nod rather than answer his question verbally. Logan shakes his head. "You have got to be kidding me!" He bursts out, startling everyone.

"Uh, what the heck are you guys talking about?" Kendall asks, drawing everyone's attention away from the starring contest that Logan and the elderly woman seem locked in.

"Yeah," James chimes in, "what's the red thread of fate?"

The elderly woman sighs. "Do any on you have a piece of string?"

"Oh! I do!" Carlos digs into his pocket for a moment before pulling out a decent length of string.

She takes it from him; ignoring the odd looks everyone else is throwing his way. She quickly ties one end of the string around Logan's left pinky finger before moving to Kendall and tying the other end the same finger on his left hand. "The red thread of fate connects two people across time, space, and circumstance. Two lovers who are connected by the thread are meant to be together, no matter what. The thread guides them, pulls them along until they have no choice but to follow it and find each other. The only way to break the thread is with a willing death."

This news is meet with silence, which, considering the group present, Logan thinks isn't all that bad of a reaction. He, however, doesn't feel like being silent.

"I don't want this stupid thread!" He grabs the thread that is physically connecting him to Kendall and yanks it off his pinky, letting it fall to the floor. "It's nothing but trouble!"

"Logan-" Kendall tries to get his genius friend's attention, but Logan cuts him off.

"No! This stupid thing sent Jo to New Zealand and who knows what it'll do to Lucy!" He's frantic in his explanation, his voice raised in anger and tears of frustration making his eyes glassy and ablaze at the same time. "I want to be able to decide my own fate! I want Kendall to have the choice to not choose me!"

This outburst is met with more silence, the whole room quiet except for the labored sound of Logan's breathing. The Chinese lady, and seriously, someone needs to ask her what the hell her name is, just shakes her head. "There is no way to break the thread." She repeats.

"No way." Logan mutters, mostly to himself, but everyone in the room can hear him. "No way except…" His eyes widen and before anyone can process what's happening he's sprinting towards the front door.

They all watch his retreating figure in shock, except for the elderly woman who looks vaguely horrified. As the door of Rocque Records slams shut behind the brunette, Kendall feels a violent tug in his chest, a force that almost literally spurs him into action. He's felt it before, the tugging, but it's always been gentle, like a friend grabbing his hand and leading him along a well-known path. This time, however, the tugging is urgent, almost painful, like the time three years ago when Logan had nearly… And before Kendall can even think about what he's doing, his best friend's name is on his lips and he's chasing after him; Carlos, James, Gustavo, and Kelly right behind on him.

Kendall makes it outside, completely unaware of the small party following him, just in time to see Logan step out onto the busy street without so much as a moment's hesitation. He watches in mute horror as the smaller boy braces himself for the impact everyone knows is coming. Logan turns his head at the last second meeting the blonde's gaze and mouthing something that Kendall thinks might be his name, or maybe "I love you," before a car slams into him. The whole thing can't have taken more than thirty seconds, but it feels like everything is moving in slow motion for Kendall as he drops to his knees on the pavement.

He watches helplessly as his best friend's body flies through the air, twisting grotesquely, before slamming into the ground. There's the sound of screeching tires and frantic yelling all around Kendall. He can distinctly hear Carlos and James both screaming with the same kind of dread that Kendall feels welling up in chest, threatening to burst out of him in a heartbreaking wail. But it's all background noise to the tall boy, who suddenly can't stop hearing the words he and Logan had been forced to sing to one another last night ago, when they were lying in Kendall's bed, wrapped up in one another. When everything actually felt right and perfect and it all makes sense now, which breaks him a little.

_But what if you're my soul mate?_

And as he screams, his left hand falls to his side, the string sliding off and falling uselessly to the ground. And the tugging sensation vanishes from his chest, gone completely -almost like it was never there to begin with.

* * *

_A Thousand Years_ belongs to Christina Perri


	28. 18 Years Old

So here's the next chapter. And I know you're all dying to know what happened to Logan, but you have to get through this part first. Then tomorrow you can find out in chapter 29, I promise. (:

* * *

o*o*o*o*o  
_A journey of a thousand miles  
must begin with a single step.  
_-Lao-Tzu  
o*o*o*o*o

* * *

_18 Years Old_

"Ring!" Camille cries as she grabs her phone from the coffee table.

She, along with Lucy, James, Carlos, Kendall, and Logan are sitting in Lucy's apartment waiting for Camille's agent to call her. She'd auditioned for a role on a rather well known TV show as a reoccurring character. And after some practice with James, she'd managed to go in and have, what had felt like, a rather successful audition.

Now they're all just waiting to find out what happens.

"_Hey I just met you! And this is crazy!_" Everyone jumps as Camille's phone starts ringing. Smiling eagerly, the young actress flips open the phone and holds it to her ear. "Hello?"

There's silence for a second before her face falls. "O-okay. Yes. Thank you." She hangs up the phone and turns to face everyone who are looking at her worriedly.

"I…I got the part!" She cries, face blossoming into a look of total joy. "We start filming in two weeks!" She pulls James, the closest person to her in an excited hug and the two bounce up and down while she squeals in happiness.

"This is so great!" The pretty boy exclaims. "We need to go out to celebrate."

Everyone voices their agreement and Camille just continues to smile at her friends.

"Where should we go?"

"I don't care!" The actress squeals. "I just want to celebrate!"

"Oh!" Carlos jumps up. "I vote someplace with corn dogs!"

"Which would leave us with the mall food court." James deadpans. "I say we go to some nice classy little Italian restaurant."

Lucy nods. "That sounds fantastic."

Kendall and Logan share a look before grinning. "Chinese."

"Oooh!" Camille's eyes light up excitedly. "That sounds delicious."

"Well," Lucy grins, "I guess that we're getting Chinese."

"Alright!" The blonde and the genius share a high five.

"So where do we go?" James asks.

Immediately everyone starts voicing their favorite places. And, because nothing is ever that simple, everyone has a different favorite place. After several minutes of intense discussion (and James putting Carlos in head lock) Logan finally holds up his hands. "Okay!" He shouts, gaining everyone's attention. "Clearly, we're not going to come to a decision, at least not civilly, just by talking."

He reaches over and grabs a notebook and pen from the coffee table. "Okay. One at a time, everyone tell me the name of where they want to go."

There's a small skirmish between Kendall, James, and Carlos as they argue over who will tell Logan first. While they're argue, the genius scribbles down his choice and gets the names of Lucy and Camille's choices.

Each of the other three boys looks offended when they realize that they didn't get to tell Logan their choices. Kendall pouts, James demands a do over, and Carlos tells Logan where he wants to go-more than happy enough to settle for getting a say before either Kendall or James.

This, of course, sets James and Kendall off fighting each other to go next.

"Idiots." Logan rolls his eyes and writes down the names of Kendall and James' favorite Chinese restaurants, already knowing both. "Okay!" He shouts again, gaining their attention. "Now that all the names are written down, we just pick one at random."

"Wait!" Lucy cries suddenly. "I know I already gave you mine, but I just remembered about that Chinese restaurant I pass all the time. I've never actually been there, but it looks really nice."

Logan shrugs. "I'll add it anyways. What's it called?"

Lucy shrugs, mimicking the genius' actions. "I don't know. The name is all in traditional Chinese or something. But I know exactly where it is if we decide to go there."

"Okay." Logan scribbles down the words _Unknown_ onto the paper and looks back up to face his friends. "So how are we deciding this?"

"Well," Camille shrugs, "you and Kendall are the ones who wanted Chinese. You guys decide."

Kendall leans down to get a better look at the list, getting closer to Logan than is necessary. Lucy eyes them strangely, but nobody else says anything about it, all of them completely used to Kendall's total disregard for Logan's personal space. "Why don't we close our eyes, pick one at random, and then let Camille pick between them?"

The genius nods. "Sounds like a plan." He closes his eyes and Kendall does the same. "One."

The boys raise their pointer fingers, letting them hover over the notebook paper.

"Two." Kendall grins.

They both begin moving their fingers back and forth, bumping into each other and laughing.

"Three!" They call out together.

And Logan lets his hand drop and he feels his finger brush against something warm. He opens his eyes and he grins as he sees both his and Kendall's fingers are resting on the same spot.

_Unknown_.

"Well," Camille grins, "I guess that eliminates my needing to choose."

Carlos laughs. "I guess it must be fate."

They all get a good laugh out of that before gathering their stuff and heading towards the elevator. Kendall continues talking animatedly and throws an arm around Logan's shoulder, pulling the genius to his side.

"I really hope this place is good. I am really craving Chinese food."

Logan laughs, although he can feel Lucy eyeing them as they walk. "I'm sure it'll be great. Lucy's got pretty good taste."

Kendall nods. "That's true." He agrees, throwing the rocker chick a grin over his shoulder.

And the genius knows that tonight he is going to do whatever he can to keep Kendall's attention on Lucy and off of him. He can't explain it, exactly, but he can feel it in his gut. This night is going to be important. It's going to be the start of something big. And Logan wants to make sure that something big is Kendall realizing he wants to be with Lucy.

No matter how much his heart hates him for it.


	29. It's Not Quite Over Yet

Wow, you guys must really hate me for chapter 27. Sorry about that. Chapter 29 should more than make up for it though.

**Important**: So I've been talking to a few friends here on fanfiction and a few on the other site I post to, and they've convinced me not to leave. I mean, it was really making me sad to leave and after talking to them they've managed to talk me out of it. So you won't hear any more about this from me. I do still kind of feel like feeback isn't as good in this fandom as in other one's that I've been in, but I love these boys -and you guys- too much to leave.

I probably won't update as much on here for the simple reason that most of what I write is drabble length, not full on story length. And I don't want to flood the Kogan section with 40 or 50 one thousand word drabbles lol I'm also going to go take my first notice down so I don't confuse anymore people. (:

Well enjoy chapter 29. There's only the epilogue after this so yay!

And for **kc1690** (and all of you who may have been wondering): The reason Logan was so willing to kill himself, so desperate to break the connection, is explained a little in here, but just in case it's still not clear enough, it's essentially because, even at fourteen, he was smart enough to realize that he and Kendall being as close as they were was going to cause a lot of trouble for the blonde (you may want to go back and reread chapter 14 I know it's been a while). Because he loved Kendall so much that he didn't want him to have to face those problems. He also didn't want Kendall to be stuck with him forever because the blonde had no other choice. We all know that Kendall would be happier with Logan, but that isn't how the little genius saw it.

* * *

o*o*o*o*o  
_To die would be an  
awfully big adventure.  
_-Peter Pan  
o*o*o*o*o

* * *

Kendall stares blankly down at Logan's still form, body too numb to even worry about moving. It's been three days since Rocque Records, since the Chinese lady –amidst all the chaos they'd completely forgotten to ask what her name was- had explained the singing, three days since anything had been sung.

Three days since Logan had literally thrown himself into L.A. traffic to get away from Kendall.

The blonde blinks back tears and tries to focus on the steady beep of the heart monitor that tells him Logan is still alive. The genius had flat lined yesterday and Kendall had felt like his entire world was being ripped forcefully from him. He'd been shoved out of the room by a team with a crash cart and he'd been able to do little else but scream in pure terror while his mom hugged him to her chest and tried her best to comfort him.

He hadn't left Logan's bedside since they'd brought him in, minus the half an hour he'd had to be pulled outside because he was having a panic attack when his best friend flat lined. Everyone else had been coming to the hospital in shifts, but Kendall didn't want to leave Logan, even for second. His too afraid that Logan will flat line for good, that they won't be able to bring him back, and the genius will be gone before Kendall can say what he needs to say.

"I don't understand." He croaks, his voice thick from three days of crying. "Why did he try so hard to fight this? I _love _him. And I know he feels that too. Why would he fight it?"

James and Carlos both jump at the sound of Kendall's voice. The blonde hasn't spoken at all since yesterday and they'd just finally become accustomed to its absence. They share a look and James sighs, because Kendall and Logan are usually the ones who figure things out.

"I don't know." He admits, completely baffled as to why the genius would pull away when he and Kendall had been beyond close since third grade.

"Remember what Logan said to the Chinese lady?" Carlos asks quietly. "About wanting you to be able to choose –or not choose- him? Maybe it has something to do with that."

Kendall runs a hand through his hair. "I just don't understand." He repeats.

"I'm sorry, buddy." James stands up and makes his way over to Kendall, giving the blonde's shoulder a reassuring squeeze. "Look, it's time for us to head back to the Palm Woods so you're mom can come. You going to stay?"

The blonde nods, never taking his eyes off Logan. "Yeah. Always."

"Okay."

"Try and get some sleep." Carlos says as he leans over to hug Kendall briefly. "I know you're scared, but it's not going to do anyone any good if you make yourself sick, okay?"

The taller boy just nods silently; completely oblivious to the sympathetic looks his two best friends give him as they leave. This is hard on all of them. They _all_ love Logan, but they understand that this is a hundred times harder on Kendall because he's _in love_ with him. So they do they're mourning at home, with Katie, Camille, and Lucy to comfort them.

In reality though, they all kind of comfort each other.

"I know I've said this a lot, Logie." Kendall gets as close to the hospital bed as he can and grips the pale boy's hand in his. "But I just don't get it. I thought the other day was amazing. I thought you thought that too. But this? _But you didn't have to cut me off_." He's not actually singing because he has too. But he's been using music for the past two weeks and he just needs one thing that still feels familiar. "_Make out like it never happened and that we were nothing_."

It's funny that singing is what feels familiar, because even when he'd accepted it, it had still been weird. Still been something unusual. Something he'd been trying to stop. But singing had also opened his eyes to how he really felt about his best friend and so he's going to keep singing. Even if he's singing alone.

"What's gong to happen now, Logan?" He asks, gripping the other boy's hand tighter. "I feel weird, empty, I don't like it. I don't know how to not have that pull in my chest, that thing that connected me to you. And now it's just gone and I-" He swipes at his eyes. "What if you wake up and it's not the same. What if _now I'm just somebody that you used to know_?"

His head droops, his body and mind both physically and mentally exhausted. "Please, Logie…" He whispers as he buries his head in his arms and drifts off into slumber.

-0-

Kendall blinks in shock as he takes in his surroundings. It looks like he's standing in the middle of Palm Woods Park, except everything is white and kind of glowing. "This had better not be heaven." He grumbles to himself. "I was really hoping for a hockey rink."

Nobody answers him, however, because the park is completely empty. Or almost completely empty.

"Logan!" He exclaims when he sees the other boy standing several feet in front of him. "What the hell was that all about?" He cries angrily when he reaches the brunette.

Logan whirls around, surprised clearly written on his face. "Kendall?"

"Yes. And why the hell did you think it was okay to try and get yourself killed!" The blonde cries. He can feel tears of frustration and sadness well up in his eyes. "Why would you do that?"

The genius gestures to the ground between them. Kendall's gaze follows the movement and his eyes widen at the sight of a red thread lying uselessly on the ground between them.

"What?" The blonde shakes his head. "What does that have to do with anything?"

"It's got everything to do with everything, Kendall." Logan explains gently. "All I've ever wanted was for you to be happy. To not cause you can any trouble."

"You've never caused me any trouble! Well," the blonde frowns, thinking off all the times he and James and gotten into fights defending the smaller boy, "none that I didn't go into willingly."

Logan shakes his head. "Just trust me on this, okay? I did it so that you could be free. So that you could have the choice to choose who and what you want. And this was the only way."

"Jeezes, Logan!" Kendall huffs, crossing his arms over his chest. "What if I was happy? You've been the center of my universe since we were eight, probably even before that, even if I didn't realize it. What am I supposed to do now?"

The shorter boy smiles so sadly it breaks Kendall's heart. "You walk away, Kendall. Because, for the first time, you finally _can_. You're free, like you've always deserved to be."

"Fine." He gives in, although it's not exactly graceful. He turns and begins to storm away, turning back only for a moment to speak one last time to the genius, with silent tears running down his cheeks. "But for the record…I never _wanted_ to be free."

Logan watches the blonde walk farther and farther away, crying quietly as he does so. He looks down at his feet just before Kendall disappears from view completely and smiles despite his tears.

There, on the ground, lying still even though Kendall is moving quickly, is the thread.

-0-

Logan wakes up gasping for breath. It only takes a minute for breathing to start coming naturally to him though. And about the time it takes him to remember how to breath properly, he begins feeling the typical aches and pains that assault a person when they decide, however noble their intentions, to run out into traffic. After the morphine drips kicks in, the genius is able to take in his surroundings. He's in a hospital, logically. He's not dead, which might be problematic. And Kendall is curled up in a plastic hospital chair, starring with wide red-rimmed eyes at him.

"Dammit!" Logan curses. "It didn't work. I'm going to kill that Chinese lady!"

"Logan, stop it."

The genius blinks, pausing mid-rant to turn to Kendall, whose face is serious. "What?"

"It worked." Kendall says and suddenly he's blinking rapidly. It takes Logan a minute to figure out what the hell he is friend is doing, but he almost lets his jaw drop in surprise when he realizes that Kendall is trying to fight back tears. "I remember meeting you in the park, or whatever that place was. I remember walking away. You got what you wanted. We're not connected anymore."

At this, Logan does gap. "What? Why? How am I still alive then?"

Kendall takes a shuddering breath, lifting a hand to swipe at his eyes. "You flat lined, Logan. But the doctors were able to get your heart beating again. But they say you-that you technically died."

The brunette blinks. "So we're not-"

"No."

"But you're still here?"

Kendall nods. "But I don't feel like I _have_ to be. Not the way I used to."

"Then-then why are you still here?"

The taller boy reaches out and grabs Logan's hand, giving it a squeeze. "Because I _want_ to be. It doesn't matter if we're connected or not. I mean, I can't say for sure if I only started loving you because of the thread, but I really don't think that's it. Because the thread, the connection, is _gone_ and I still love you. I wouldn't have mattered if I'd had a choice from the very beginning, Logan. I would have chosen you. I would have _always_ chosen you."

And he leans over and presses his lips gently against Logan's. He sighs as Logan refuses to respond to the action.

"Stop fighting it, Logan." Kendall mumbles against the still boy's lips. "There's nothing to fight anymore."

At this, Logan finally gives in to what he'd been denying himself for years and kisses Kendall back, moving his arms slowly up to tangle his fingers in the blonde's hair. They both moan happily into the kiss and Kendall knows, despite all the problems they had getting here, it is going to be worth every effort it took.

There might not be that insistent tug or pull. It may not feel like something is physically tethering them together, but both boys feel like they're exactly where they're supposed to be.

* * *

_Somebody that I Used to Know_ belongs to Goyta.

Also, I'm not sure if I mentioned it, I don't think I did. But everything concerning the red thread of fate myth that you read in this fic is true. Except the willing death part. According to the actual myth there is absolutely no way to break the connection of two people tied together by the red thread. But I didn't want this fic to be almost 30 chapters of Logan fighting and running and then he just suddenly turns around and is like "hey, okay! That's fine! I love you." So I had to take a few liberties with the myth.


	30. Epilogue

Holy crap! I am so, so sorry that this took me a few days to get updated. Sunday I was driving home from vacation and I hadn't gotten home from a fundraiser event until like 4:30 am and then I had to pack and be ready for six am so I got no sleep until we were on the road and even then I could only like doze on and off so when we got home I crashed. And then yesterday was the last day before classes start. And I'm not in college anymore, but several of my good friends still are and they hadn't been in town until recently, but I was away on vacation when they first got here so I spent most of yesterday with them.

Anyways, long story short. I'm really, really sorry. But here it is. The very final chapter of _As Fate Would Have It. _It's just the epilogue, so don't worry, nothing's going to jump out and scare you.

Also, I've uploaded another Kogan story. Although, it's not really a story. It's actually a collection of the one shots that I've written on another website that are too short to stand on their own. There's only one chapter up so far, but I'm going to add more. I'd love if you'd check them out. These drabbles were some of the most fun things to write and I'd love to know what you guys think of them.

* * *

o*o*o*o*o  
_The past is the beginning of a  
beginning, and all that is or has  
been is but the twilight of dawn.  
_–H.G. Wells  
o*o*o*o*o

* * *

_Jennifer Knight watches with a smile as her five-year-old son and his two best friends play in the front yard. Her smile falters momentarily as she notices her blonde haired child look down the empty street yet again. It's almost as if he's waiting for something and, for the life of her, she can't figure out what. Moving carefully, she's only two months pregnant, but she likes to be careful all the same, she walks over to her son._

"_Kendall, sweetie," she squats down so that she's closer to eye level, "what's wrong?"_

_Kendall shrugs. "Mommy…something's missing." _

_Jennifer has heard her son say this before. And every time he does, he gets the same far away look in his eyes. Like he's searching for something he can't see. "What do you mean, baby?"_

"Someone_ is missing." Kendall replies, turning his head to stare down the empty street._

_"You mean Daddy?" Her husband is at work and she'd thought Kendall knew that._

_The blonde shakes his head. "No, Daddy's at work. He'll be back. Someone else, mommy. Someone who is going to be special to me."_

_Jennifer blinks in shock at the young boy's words. She's not sure she understands what's going on, but her son sounds more serious than she's ever heard him and she can't help but believe that he's telling her the truth. "How do you know?" _

"_Because he kind of already is," Kendall places his small hand over his heart, "in here."_

-0-

Logan stretches and appreciates the way his muscles don't protest the movement. It's been several months since the accident and the genius has all but made a full recovery. He's still got to take it easy, but in a few more weeks he'll be back to singing and dancing full time with his two best friends and his boyfriend.

He and Kendall had come out to the public about their relationship as soon as Logan had been well enough to do an interview. He'd still been in casts and everything, but he'd never been happier than when he'd been able to grab Kendall's hand and tell the whole world that he and the blonde belonged to each other. It's been just enough time since then that the hype from the media is finally starting to die down.

It helps that Mama Knight has refused to let Logan leave the apartment until today too. True, he's only gone down two flights of stairs to the pool, but it's not the walls of 2J and he's glad for the change in scenery. Mama Knight, half because she wanted to and half because she'd had strict orders from Mama Mitchell, had refused to let the genius out of her sight since he'd returned from the hospital.

Kendall had been even worse, going so far as to _shower_ with Logan (although -the genius's face flushes when he remembers the feel of Kendall's hands and his mouth- he suspects that wasn't completely a protective gesture). Logan didn't mind that as much. It is far less embarrassing to be doing everything with your boyfriend than it is to do everything with your boyfriend's mother.

"LOGAN!" His name and an excited squeal rip him from his thoughts.

All four friends turn just in time to see Camille launch herself at the genius. The hug, by her standards, is pretty tame, and Logan is very glad. He's not sure he's body is up to a full on Camille tackle just yet.

"Hey!" Kendall growls, as he eyes the actress warily.

"Oh relax!" Camille pulls back, releasing Logan and sticking her tongue out at the blonde. "He's all yours. I've shifted my sights elsewhere." Her gaze flickers over to James who gives her a charming smile in return.

"It is really good to see you though." A new voice joins the fray as Lucy walks up to them, sitting on the edge of Carlos' pool chair. She leans over and hugs Logan. "Congratulations on snagging Kendall. I'm sure you two are going to be very happy." And Logan is relieved to note that she sounds like she genuinely means it.

…Until she smacks him on the back of the head.

"Ow!" The brunette cries, rubbing the offended area. "What was that for?"

"For being an idiot." She gives him her best stern glare. "No matter how much I might have liked Kendall-which, really, wasn't all that much. Not compared to how you felt- I would _never_ have wanted you dead or hurt. None of us would."

"What about being able to choose your own fate?" He asks.

"Well, yeah, that's important too. But if fate wants what you want then it seems pretty stupid to fight it."

"Absolutely!" Kendall agrees with a smirk, pulling Logan onto his lap and kissing the genius soundly.

"Not again!" Carlos cries as he and James make gagging noises.

"They've been all disgustingly happy and couple-y since we got back from the hospital!" James shudders dramatically.

"I dunno…" Lucy waggles her eyebrows at the two boys. "I think it's kind of hot."

"So hot." Camille agrees.

Logan flushes and even Kendall looks embarrassed and they shift uncomfortably under the girls' predatory gazes. The girls watch them squirm for a minute before smirking at each other and bursting into laughter.

"Totally kidding." Lucy tells them with a smile.

"But it was so worth the looks on your faces."

Logan turns to his boyfriend with a crooked smile. "We may have picked the weirdest people at the Palm Woods to be friends with."

"What are you talking about, Logie?" Kendall gives him a quick peck before glancing none too subtly at James, who is tanning, and Carlos, who is still wearing his helmet. "We _are_ the weirdest people at the Palm Woods."

And the genius has to laugh at that, because, honestly, it's completely and totally true. Thread or no thread, the genius thinks as he looks around at his friends, they were all meant to find each other.

-0-

Later that evening, both boys are lying in Kendall's bed, limbs tangled together and sharing slow, lazy kisses. Kendall runs his hands across Logan's chest, fingers tracing the few scars that will never completely go away. The genius shudders under the taller boy's touch and the blonde smirks.

"I'm glad you're feeling better, Logie." He flips them so that the genius is flat on his back and Kendall is on top of him. "Because it means I get to do this."

And he leaves a trail of kisses down the smaller boy's chest before moving to mouth at the obvious bulge in the Logan's boxers.

"Kendall…" The genius hisses in pleasure at the contact.

The blonde smirks, moving up to kiss his boyfriend. He rolls his hips forward and both boys groan at the friction.

Afterwards, they lay cuddled together, both feeling sleepy and sated, but not wanting to let go of one another and drift off just yet. "You know," Logan sits up suddenly, "Lucy was right."

"Hm?" Kendall asks sleepily, eyes half-lidded and clearly only half following the conversation.

"She was right. It was pretty stupid of me to fight this. Especially since…"

This catches the blonde's attention. "Since what?" He asks, pulling the smaller boy against him and kissing his shoulder.

Logan turns his head and kisses the blonde. "Since I always knew it would be you." He tells him breathlessly when they finally pull apart. "Even before I knew you, I knew it would be you."

Kendall chuckles lightly. "I guess it must be fate then." And even though he sounds like he's joking, both boys know that he really isn't.

And the blonde pulls the genius back down onto the bed. They fall backwards together, getting lost in the pillows, blankets, and each other.

_And as fate would have it…_

-0-

"_Hortense?" _

_Joanna Mitchell sees her five-year-old son look up from his book as she walks into his room. "Are you still reading?"_

_The brunette nods. "Yeah." He holds up the book, one far more advanced than a five-year-old should be reading. "It's really good."_

"_Why don't you go outside and play, baby?" She worries about her son. It's fairly obvious that his intelligence level is well above that of a normal five year old. And while she doesn't mind this at all, it does worry her that the younger boy seems more interested in books than kids his own age._

"_No thanks." Hortense gazes out his window at the sight of children playing in the Texas sunshine. "I'd rather read."_

_Joanna chooses her next words carefully, not wanting to upset her son. "But wouldn't you like to go make some friends?"_

"_Not really."_

"_Hortense," She moves to sit next to her son, "You really need to try and make some friends."_

"_Don't worry mom," Hortense laughs and sends her a dimply smile. "I'm going to have the greatest friend in the world. I just have to wait for him."_

_Joanna blinks in surprise at the light tone in her son's voice. She's hasn't heard him sound that carefree, well ever, honestly. She smiles at him, somehow completely able to trust her son. "Oh yeah?" Hortense nods. "How do you know?"_

"_I can feel it." Hortense lifts his hand and places it over his heart. "In here."_

* * *

_**THE END! **  
_


End file.
